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House rules! Help!!!!

Posted by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 10:13 PM
  • 11 Replies

Hubby and i recently moved into our own house! My mom, two sisters, sister maria's girlfriend are living with us because of the situation they were in. We have plenty of room and all get along great so thats not a problem. The problem is they are SO messy!

I am a bit of a neat freak and i like my house to be tidy. But it is far from that. When we moved in andi (marias gf) said she would do dishes all the time and that the kitchen would be her chore only cuz she likes it. We agreed but they dont get done unless every friggin dish is dirty! its annoying!

also my living room is always trashed with clothes, blanket, shoes, dishes, school stuff... argh. Also the bathroom always has dirty towels and clothes on the floor and the sink is covered in there stuff!

I have an 18 month old son who messes up the living room with his toys but i always pick them up. not to mention i am 26 weeks pregnant and have spd so i am in pain all the time and its hard to walk or move. but i still clean! why is it so hard for them to do the same? I should not have to be the only one who does anything around here! hubby helps but he works all the time so cant help much.

also they bring friends over to stay the night whenever they want, two of them were supposed to find jobs but haven't, and its all getting to me.

What house rules should we have? because obviously we need some! and they need to be fair. What rules have worked for you ladies?

thanks for your help!

Jess

Group admin in http://www.cafemom.com/group/tipstricksadvice Join us!


by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 10:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
KittyD
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 10:16 PM

I think everyone needs to just clean up after themselves... NO one week this one week that thing...If you eat wash your plate, if you wore it wash it, if its yours put it away etc.. You also need to give them a deadline about the whole finding a job thing.

KittyD ~ Stop By My Page & Sign my Guest Book!

crowned_mom
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 10:17 PM

both you and your hubby need to sit down with them and put it all on the table. remind them that it would help you out a lot if they would contribute a little more into the household chores. see how that works and if it doesnt then maybe it is time they found their own place. i kinda know how you feel cause my brother wanted my dh and i to move into a house with him and his family but i told him no because they are neat freaks and we are so not and i know it would never work. good luck.

Mommy to Nolan, Wife to Mattin lovetoddler boy

Ilovemybbgrl
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 10:18 PM

wow! Family or not, they should not be walking all over you.  You need to remind them whos house they are living in, and that they are guests in your home temporarily until they can get out of their "situation". Let them know the rules of YOUR house! I just dont know what else to say! Dont allow them to do what they want all the time, bringin people in and out and what not. Remind them also, that they said they would do certain things in order to live there.. I hope things work out for the best. I couldnt live like that =(

Ninjabear
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 10:28 PM

They definatly need to atleast be looking for a job. i also think that when they come home from school they should help clean up once they are done with home work. And i was also thinking that dishes should be done every night. and everyone take turns. as for their friends, i have no problem with it as long as they ask me and tell me in advance and they clean up before that friend comes over.

does that all seem fair? i feel like i am leaving something out though?

Jess

Group admin in http://www.cafemom.com/group/tipstricksadvice Join us!


Sassy_n_cool_24
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 10:46 PM

Look. It is HARD living with people. I have done it, and HATED it. Here are the rules that worked for me.

1. If it is a weekend, and everyone is still sleeping let them sleep. (no loud music, playing, laughing, or talking till everyone wakes up)

2. If the livingroom, hallway, kitchen, or bathroom are messy WE ALL clean. ( WE get more done faster together!)

3. I don't mind you doing "your thing" in the livingroom. (homework, vegging, watching movies) Just clean up after yourself. The livingroom is the first room people go to when they walk in.

4. No incomming calls after 9pm unless it is an emergency.

5. On week days everyone needs to be up no later then 9am.  You may relax an hour, but by 10am everyone is cleaning something. Unless you are at work of coarse.

6. Everyone does their OWN laundry including towels, and wash cloths!

7. Everyone needs to have a job within 2 months if not before, or find someone else to live off of.

8. You should have your own appt. within 6-12 months.

*Yes these rules are strict. Yes they are fair, because I am not asking someone to clean my whole house, and I AM doing my part as we are ALL cleaning the house together. I am not your mother, and if you don't like my rules you need to get your own place where you can be a slob. * If I were staying with you, I would do the same for you out of respect, and appreciation!

Ninjabear
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:17 PM


Quoting Sassy_n_cool_24:

Look. It is HARD living with people. I have done it, and HATED it. Here are the rules that worked for me.

1. If it is a weekend, and everyone is still sleeping let them sleep. (no loud music, playing, laughing, or talking till everyone wakes up) everyone stays up late and so would be sleeping ALL day... except me and my son, we are early birds lol

2. If the livingroom, hallway, kitchen, or bathroom are messy WE ALL clean. ( WE get more done faster together!) I think this is a good one

3. I don't mind you doing "your thing" in the livingroom. (homework, vegging, watching movies) Just clean up after yourself. The livingroom is the first room people go to when they walk in. this is good too

4. No incomming calls after 9pm unless it is an emergency. We all have cell phones so this wouldnt work lol

5. On week days everyone needs to be up no later then 9am.  You may relax an hour, but by 10am everyone is cleaning something. Unless you are at work of coarse. My sisters and sis gf have school so they are up by 6. Mom works nights so she sleeps during the days. hubby works late too... basically its just me during the day til 330.

6. Everyone does their OWN laundry including towels, and wash cloths! This sorta works too cept all the towels and stuff go in a drity hamper together

7. Everyone needs to have a job within 2 months if not before, or find someone else to live off of. this may be kinda hard, but they atleast need to be looking for a job. hubby and i will have to talk about this one

8. You should have your own appt. within 6-12 months. As long as they help and dont cause chaos i dont mind them staying here. so we probably will leave this one out.

*Yes these rules are strict. Yes they are fair, because I am not asking someone to clean my whole house, and I AM doing my part as we are ALL cleaning the house together. I am not your mother, and if you don't like my rules you need to get your own place where you can be a slob. * If I were staying with you, I would do the same for you out of respect, and appreciation! This reminds me, there do need to be some consequences if the rules aren't followed. Looks like hubby and me have alot to talk about with everyone! thank you for your help!!! :)


Jess

Group admin in http://www.cafemom.com/group/tipstricksadvice Join us!


AuntieV
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:35 PM

The first thing I would address is having friends stay over or for that matter staying late. I would say that 10PM is the latest anyone should be staying.

Guests should not spend the night unless it is approved by you or DH ahead of time and then should only be for one night once in awhile.

As far as housework and cleaning:

Make a schedule with everyone responsible for daily chores. Then give them a three strikes and you are out consequence if they are not done daily by a set time.

Anything left out after 10PM needs to be tossed out or held for ransom.

If they are leaving dishes in the living room start hiding all of your dishes. When they run out they can go buy paper plates. If they leave out trash gather it up and dump it in their rooms.

If the are leaving out snacks quit buying them. If they buy them and leave them out toss them in the trash.

Good Luck!

 

 

Ninjabear
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:42 PM

lmao although i see some of this as mean... the vision i get in my head of me doing all of it, its just so tempting to do it this way lol. it would cause chaos for sure, but the point would definatly be made! lmao

Quoting AuntieV:

The first thing I would address is having friends stay over or for that matter staying late. I would say that 10PM is the latest anyone should be staying.

Guests should not spend the night unless it is approved by you or DH ahead of time and then should only be for one night once in awhile.

As far as housework and cleaning:

Make a schedule with everyone responsible for daily chores. Then give them a three strikes and you are out consequence if they are not done daily by a set time.

Anything left out after 10PM needs to be tossed out or held for ransom.

If they are leaving dishes in the living room start hiding all of your dishes. When they run out they can go buy paper plates. If they leave out trash gather it up and dump it in their rooms.

If the are leaving out snacks quit buying them. If they buy them and leave them out toss them in the trash.

Good Luck!




Jess

Group admin in http://www.cafemom.com/group/tipstricksadvice Join us!


scmomma85
by on Jan. 28, 2009 at 9:17 AM

been there, done that. For the sake of your sanity please make some rules and deadlines for them, like when they needd to get a job, what they need to do around there and a time frame for how lon gthey casn stay there, otherwise they will get comfy living the good life and never leave you house or help out.JMHO and from personal experience with my family.

MamaBerry1978
by on Jan. 28, 2009 at 9:41 AM


Quoting Sassy_n_cool_24:

Look. It is HARD living with people. I have done it, and HATED it. Here are the rules that worked for me.

1. If it is a weekend, and everyone is still sleeping let them sleep. (no loud music, playing, laughing, or talking till everyone wakes up)

2. If the livingroom, hallway, kitchen, or bathroom are messy WE ALL clean. ( WE get more done faster together!)

3. I don't mind you doing "your thing" in the livingroom. (homework, vegging, watching movies) Just clean up after yourself. The livingroom is the first room people go to when they walk in.

4. No incomming calls after 9pm unless it is an emergency.

5. On week days everyone needs to be up no later then 9am.  You may relax an hour, but by 10am everyone is cleaning something. Unless you are at work of coarse.

6. Everyone does their OWN laundry including towels, and wash cloths!

7. Everyone needs to have a job within 2 months if not before, or find someone else to live off of.

8. You should have your own appt. within 6-12 months.

*Yes these rules are strict. Yes they are fair, because I am not asking someone to clean my whole house, and I AM doing my part as we are ALL cleaning the house together. I am not your mother, and if you don't like my rules you need to get your own place where you can be a slob. * If I were staying with you, I would do the same for you out of respect, and appreciation!

these are great guidlines just fix them to suit your needs.  Anyway, a house meeting is definitly in order.  If you don't you'll just end up building up resentment and anger and that's just not good for any one.

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