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someone PLEASE talk to me (begging)

Posted by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 12:22 AM
  • 29 Replies

 

 i've posted my stuff with my husband several times. he has repeatedly been calling 900 numbers and getting pics of nude women sent to his phone. the last time i caught it was about 3 weeks ago. he begged me to take him back, said he'd never do it again (again), etc. well he left his work phone at home today and i found a pic he forgot to delete from a week ago and he called a 900 number 3 days ago.

he is actually trying to convince me that the 900 number texted him and he only called it to "get them to stop texting him." i don't know why he thinks i'm an idiot.

i kicked him out. this is the 4th time i've caught him with this kind of thing. fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me... fool me 4 times? who else can i blame it on? so my marriage is over. i have 2 kids from my previous marriage, a 7 month old baby with my husband and another on the way, no job, no home.... i really would appreciate anyone's thoughts.

happy valentine's.

*i gave him the ultimatum 3 weeks ago to get counseling among other things, including getting rid of his work phone, getting on my cell phone plan, getting printouts of the last 3 months of service form his cell phone... he hasn't done any of them. he honestly does work like 72 hours a week so i know he can't do conventional counseling but there are ways.....

by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 12:22 AM
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Replies (1-10):
KittyD
by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 12:24 AM

you are doing the right thing..the only reason he keeps doing it is because you have let him get away with it in the past. there are men that change but some don't..like your husband. I'm sorry and good luck...remember don't look back because its just another step back!

KittyD ~ Stop By My Page & Sign my Guest Book!

Tuf
by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 12:26 AM

I'm sorry girl.  I really am.  I am in a similar situation and feel really stuck.  I can't decide what my first move needs to be.  You know it's over.  You don't need to make any rushed decisions, just come up with a plan and stay strong for your kids.

Amybelle
by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 12:26 AM

I'm so sorry Mama!! I wish I had some magic words that could make you feel better but only time will do that!! Stay Strong!!! (((((((HUGS)))))) 

Elfgirl101
by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 12:28 AM

Oh wow. You poor thing. I know it is incredibly scary for you now, being alone with kids & pregnant to boot, but it sounds like you did the right thing. Things can only get better from here.

You deserve so much better. One day you will find someone who treats you as you deserve, and you will be GLAD you left this loser.

Best of luck.


3timesoccermom
by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 12:28 AM

I am really sorry this is still going on - truly I am.  I remember one of your recent posts about this issue and think I even replied to it.  I guess it's time for you to take some of the advice you've been given and DO something to change your life.  I am not sure what you want people to tell you.  If you want people to say well, sorry, you have no choice but to stay I don't think it's going to happen.   Sorry you have this going on.

natalieg
by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 12:28 AM

I'm sorry you're having to go through that. Have you given him an ultimatum? I would consider taking him back for the kids sake. Tell him he has to get a new number and that you never want to see anything like that again or you're gone. While it is a problem that he's doing that, leaving might not be the answer. Have you talked to him about it? Ask him WHY he feels the need to do it, etc.

MommaLiss777
by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 12:30 AM

It sounds like it's time for you to go back to work.  I'm not saying that to be mean, but you have you and yours to look out for now.  Plus, you don't want to take him back because you aren't able to take care of things right?  The job market is tough though, and you might want to look into public assistance just in case.

I feel for your situation though.  My best friends DH keeps looking at porn online, and it drives her crazy.  They ended up starting therapy though, and it seems to be helping.

Good Luck!

Brandy.B
by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 12:30 AM

I am going to be 100% honest with you because that is what I think you need.

Do you love your husband? What did you think 'for better AND for worse" meant when you said your vows? It did NOT just mean for better my dear. Marriage isn't all gumdrops and sprinkles. It takes work and maybe you should've tried some marriage counseling or even some individual counseling for him. I would NEVER kick my husband out for that, especially having kids.

I am a non-sugar coating, breastfeeding, church-going Christian, Childhood Abuse surviving, anti-death penalty, pro-life, disposable diapering, young LOVING mama of two, Madison Liliana Faye (6/20/07) and Isabelle Serenity Rose (11/12/08) and married to the best man in the world, my Samuel. :) Don't limit me to my signature characteristics and I won't limit you to yours. This is just the beginning. :)




mrs.michelle23
by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 12:35 AM

SORRY THAT THIS IS GOING ON I WISH I HAD THE WORDS TO MAKE IT GO AWAY BUT I HAD THIS HAPPEN TO ME BUT MY HUBBY NEED SOME HLEP HE WANTED TO WACH THE MOVIES AND THEY WAS SENDING THIS TO THE PHONE OUR PHONE BILL HAD WENT UP TO LIKE 600.00 FOR ONE MONTH I KNOW AND I PUT HIM OUT FOR ABOUT 3 MORE HE JUST COME BACK HOME 2 WEEKS BEFORE MY SON WAS BRON.. JUST STAY STORNG AND KEEP GOD FIRST

fawn321
by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 12:36 AM

Your marriage doesn't have to be over.. you haven't tried counseling yet.  Your marriage is sick, take it to the doctor. You owe it that much....  Addictions are a sickness. I'm not making excuses for him. He is absolutely in the wrong.  But ya'll try and get some help before you start dividing up property. 

You don't have the money? Sell the tv or something... what would you do if this was cancer? You would do what you had to do... Get some help... 

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