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Banned from Walmart....Kind of long....(PIOG)

Posted by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 1:03 PM
  • 17 Replies


This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.


After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her
on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.


Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - she
loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart:


Dear Mrs. Samsel,


Over the past six months, your husband has been causing
quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.


1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put
     them in people's carts when they weren't looking.


2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go
     off at 5-minute intervals.


3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor
     leading to the women's restroom.


4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an
     official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.



5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a
    bag of M&M's on layaway.


6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a
    carpeted area.


7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department
    and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.


8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him,
    he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'


9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera
    and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.


10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting
      department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.


11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously
       while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.


12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his
     'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.


13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people
      browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'


14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud
      speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'


And last, but not least .


15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door,
      waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'
by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 1:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 1:07 PM

rolling on floor

  having chocolate  Happy Valentine's Day!!


by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 1:08 PM

LOL OMG..sounds like something my DH wishes he could do. I try to keep in eye range so that he can't blame any destruction on my youngest.

"A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother." -- Mark Twain

by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 1:09 PM


by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 1:09 PM

hahahaha!!! i love it!


by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 1:10 PM

ROFL this one never gets old. 

by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 1:11 PM


by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 1:13 PM

i guess i should be banned from wal mart cuz before kids i would actually go in wal mart and do some of those things to get a rise outta my boyfriend at time or embarrass the hell outta my dad! the good old daysshh

by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 1:27 PM

I read this about 3-4 year ago and still love it! 

Proud Mama to SuperShaylee and 3 angels (5 weeks Biscuit  3/06 , ButterBean 12 weeks 3/08,8 weeks Baby M 11/08)

by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 1:28 PM



My husband usually turns on all the radios on.

by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 1:29 PM

Ive read that like 100 times, and EVERYtime its STILL FUNNY!!! lol I love it. Reminds me so much of exes dad.

I'm a 24 year old, *single* mom, to a 14 month old princess, and a prince on the way. I'm 35 or 38 weeks pregnant, I've had previa, abruption, gall bladder surgery, kidney stones, preterm labor and have been passing out, but this little boy is worth it all. I've been through postpartum depression, domestic violence, my parents divorce, losing my job & becoming poor, losing my car, and my license, and becoming a single mom... all in the last year and I'm still glad to be here!!

I *LOVE* my kids more than anything else on this planet!

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