Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

what a lovely valentines it will be...NOT. Long, but need help.

Posted by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 5:07 PM
  • 5 Replies

Ok, before everyone thinks its just another post bitching about my husband. I have to give you some background. He's a marine, suffering from PTSD and refuses to get help. So, we all suffer because of his disorder. I refuse to give up on my husband until he changes. His commanders have made appointments for him with psyciatrists and hes now given up and going. but thats not my issue.

Today, he was released early, due to a 96 he gets. We wanted to go out to get his contacts and just have a nice day. We went to mall and we got eachother gifts for tomorrow. and everything was great, until it was time to go. In Bass Pro Shops where I met up with him, there is a HUGE fish tank, my daughter LOVES it, so I took her there and my husband told me to go check out then meet me here. (he refuses to think that he did that) Well he checked out and took our son to the car, never found me, never waited, nothing. So after a while I picked up my daughter and wandered around the store, no husband, I went back to the fish tank, no husband, I walked around one more time trying to reasure myself that he was in the store. Well, he wasn't. (he does this occasionally but not leaving the store, but walking off and not leting me know.) Well. I ran out to the car with katelyn and yelled at him, asking what he wasthinking and not letting me know where he was. After the fight we were heading home. and I asked him if I could take a nap, he said sure, did that happen. NOPE, so he asked me if he could run to the shoppette to get some drinks, I said sure. (his exact words were, I'll take the KIDS and head to the store) He came upstairs to tell me he was leaving and I said ok, your taking the kids and he said OH MY GOD NO. I'll take ONE. I said no, you said you would take two I don't understand why I have to bring them both to the store when he's gone, and he can't take the both when I ask him. I don't get it. Well he said well today is your day I guess and tomorrow and then sunday your going to make your day. I said oh my god are you kidding? and he said your so selfish. (i don't feel like I'm close of being that being a Marine Wife and have to do a lot on my own)

But now its just like I'm so annoyed because i know he doesn't mean it, I know its the PTSD and stress from work, but I'm just tired of dealing with it onmy own. I'm sick of the kids seeing us fight. But they are always there, and just see it. I want to change that, but don't know how.I'm sure a lot of you are thinking for me to leave, but I don't want to hear that. I don't need to. I just need some support from mothers to just help me through this.

I hope everyone else has a fantastic holiday!!!  

by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 5:07 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-5):
CafeMom Admin
by Gold Member on Feb. 13, 2009 at 6:03 PM


how are you

Hi YoungMarineWife,

In addition to posting your question here, you may also want to visit the Marriage and Relationships group. The moms in there may have some answers and advice for you.

Here are some CafeMom Featured Groups.

You can also search for a group based on your interests here:

http://www.cafemom.com/groups/find.php

We hope you enjoy CafeMom!

//The CafeMom Admin Team

lucky2Beeme
by Platinum Member on Feb. 13, 2009 at 7:34 PM

  You can stop the fighting infront of the kids BY NOT respsonding .he needs help he is now going for it right? I think you need to back off and give him a chance to get that help.Is thiere a supposrt group for wives of marines in this situation? You might find it would help you to have a place to vent and share with people that are going thru similar stuff.

littlemissyjen
by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 7:59 PM

He needs medication. Regardless of his problem, you don't have to put up w/that kind of abuse. My ex is bi-polar but that didn't excuse him from beating and belittling me. I left because I didn't want my child to see that and think it was normal.

Hope it works out, if not you should take a break w/the kids so he can figure out to fix his problem. 

Photobucket
YoungMarineWife
by on Feb. 16, 2009 at 12:29 PM

Obviously by your response, you don't know what PTSD is or how it affects families everywhere.Get facts next time before you respond!

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

  You can stop the fighting infront of the kids BY NOT respsonding .he needs help he is now going for it right? I think you need to back off and give him a chance to get that help.Is thiere a supposrt group for wives of marines in this situation? You might find it would help you to have a place to vent and share with people that are going thru similar stuff.


lucky2Beeme
by Platinum Member on Feb. 16, 2009 at 1:31 PM

 yes I DO know how it affects families My SIL has it. Disregard my post and KEEP on fighting in front of the kids !!!

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)