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Are the first years of marraige the hardest?

Posted by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 5:34 PM
  • 69 Replies

I was just curious since my hubby and I are about to celebrate our one year anniversary.

What is your opinion on the easiest/hardest years of marraige

by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 5:34 PM
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by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 5:36 PM

im not married but i'd like to know!

we have been together for a little over 5 years! 

by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 5:36 PM

I have only been married for four years, but I think it was cyclical for us - the first few months were hard, then we got into a rhythm and things were much better.  The third year was tough too for some reason, lots of changes and such.  But overall I guess I haven't been married long enough to really compare.  Happy anniversary!

by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 5:37 PM

today is my 16th month anniversery and it has been a hard 16 months but I'm happy we are were we are right now

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by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 5:37 PM

The 7th yr itch, I think is the hardest.  Quite a few people, including myself, were divorced in the 7th yr.  Although, I have to say, the 1st few yrs are hard too because you're still learning to live together....I'm remarried now, and we lived together first, and wow, did we fight!  But, we're good now and we've been living together for 2 yrs now, and married for 6 months. 

by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 5:38 PM

I ve been told that the first year and seventh year is the hardest..but i m sure it all depends on the couple. i d have to say in my marriage sofar it hasb een rough...

by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 5:40 PM

In my opinion, no they are not the hardest. I have been married 15 years and its the years on down the road, like the seventh or tenth year.  The ones where you have to just keep plodding along. You know, you love each other, but your fed up with the "little things".  So you have to reach WAY down deep to find that love sometimes.  Then you wake some mornings and think, "is this all there is?".. and you may wonder if you had married someone different would things be different.  Of course, you DO find the connection again. We all go through seasons of falling in and out of love. Sometimes those seasons last longer and longer and just when you think it over, he gives you a goofy smile or something and it ALL comes rushing back to you. 

So the first two years, are hard, no doubt... but I think they are smooth sailing compared to some of the times ahead. Don't get me wrong now, I'm not complaining about husband or my life, I'm just saying there are harder years in a marriage.

Congratulations on your anniversary. 

by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 5:41 PM

well ive been with hubby for 5 years now, and weve lived together for the entire 5 years. we also have 3 kids, but didnt get married until last may, when i was pregnant with our 3 child.

so were still in our first year of marriage and its been super tough... it seems like things were easier before we got im not sure if it even counts since weve been living together for 5 years... it was basically like weve been married for 5 years...

by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 5:41 PM

We are celebrating 13 years of marriage this July.

I think there are no "hardest" or "easiest" years so to speak. It really just goes by what all is going on in your life.

My one year wedding anniversary, we celebrated over an international phone call. He was on a 6 month deployment, had been gone for 1.5 months & pulled in 2 days before & pulled out the next day to not hear from him for 1.5 months.( this was all before email, even when they got it though it was reliable ). It was very hard & stressful.

But, I love him to death, so you get thru things. Now, he is working 3rd shift & a second job. I am working, etc. So we can have more time together for camp this summer. But, it is hard.

One thing is, the harder things are, we didn't push away, we pulled closer. When things are easy, we smile & enjoy it.

One thing someone said to me, I always carry with me, so I figured i would share.

They said, sometimes people go into marriage feeling they are going in 50%-50%. They said, that isn't how to make it work. People need to go into marriage 100%-100%.


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by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 5:42 PM

I sure as hell hope not! I'm getting married in May, and we've already lived together for almost a year and a half, so it hope we'll be okay!


by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 5:44 PM

Ive always hard the first year is the hardest, and most couples go through the 5 year 'itch'...

Ive only been married 3 years but for us the first year being the hardest was true in some ways, untrue in others. Finanically it was the hardest but emotionally it was pure bliss... We were SO in love the first year and still are...the longer were together the deeper it grows but just like the other two the first year was pretty awesome! 

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