Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Too sensitive for sports??

Posted by on Mar. 8, 2009 at 10:39 PM
  • 7 Replies

My five year old son is extremely sensitvie in all areas of his life, but even more so when he plays a sport. When he loses he cries like it's the end of the world, he'll even say "I'm so bad, I can't play anything right." I praise him constantly but he still gets so down on himself when he loses. I'm not sure if I should continue to encourage him to play or just let him quit.

I'd really appreciate any advice!

by on Mar. 8, 2009 at 10:39 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-7):
fawn321
by on Mar. 8, 2009 at 10:44 PM

My kids would get mad when they would loose and usually blame it on someone else. lol  Maybe your son needs another year to mature a little more.  If it is causes him this much sadness, I probably go ahead and take him out of it.  

Momof2BG26
by on Mar. 8, 2009 at 10:57 PM

I thought maturity was the issue last year when he played soccer so we waited a year. And it hasn't gottne any better. Maybe waiting a little longer is the answer.

3timesoccermom
by on Mar. 9, 2009 at 1:06 AM

Maybe he would do better in an activity like swimming or gymnastics where you don't really "lose" or "win" (unless you're in the competitive groups later). Or you could try waiting a year or 2.   Is he a perfectionist?

McKinzies_Mom
by on Mar. 9, 2009 at 1:33 AM

If he thinks he played bad maybe try not praising him.  Don't get me wrong, I know it sounds kind of harsh, but McKinzie is very over emotional and doesn't deal well with anything that doesn't work perfect for her.  She would go into almost a temper tantrum and start throwing things when she couldn't put her own shirt on.  I am into a parenting style called love and logic and what they say is to not praise or discourage.  Simply say something like "I thought you did really well" than ask "you don't seem to be too happy about how you played, what do you think you're going to do different next time?"  This approach really worked well for McKinzie, but every kid is different. 

That suggestion aside, maybe talk to him and see if he wants to continue playing or quit for now.  If it's his decision maybe he won't be so hard on himself.  Maybe he wants really bad to please you and thinks he's disappointing you when he has an "off" day.  I was like that with my parents, if I wanted to try something and failed I was ok with it and just brushed it off as a non-talent.  When my parents wanted me to try something I poured myself into it and was devastated if I failed.  They never made me feel bad but I felt like I had disappointed everyone. 

Good luck to you! 

I am a....


vaxingformula feedingco-sleepinglove and logic usingcartoon watchingread at bedtimeclean house keepingnon-spankingdance with my kidsfulltime workinghusband lovingcio usingdoctor trustingnon-meat eatingsingingcafemom loving


kind of mom.  Nice to meet you!

Momof2BG26
by on Mar. 9, 2009 at 6:58 AM

Unfortunately he is a mini-me which means he his a perfectionist to the extreme, but he is also very logical. I will try to back off the praise and just talk him through his feelings. Thanks for the help.

2boystolove
by on Mar. 9, 2009 at 7:13 AM

I would let him finish out whatever he is in, unless he really , really doesn't even want to do that and then wait until he 8.  I looked up what the appropriate age was for introduction to organized sports and I think I remember the American Board of Pediatrics says 8 was the appropriate age.  You may want to check me on that though.  My oldest son is 4 and we thought neighborhood soccer would be a great idea - NOT.......

 

Good luck

Terisa Underwood


Virginia Beach, VA

norbert
by on Mar. 9, 2009 at 7:54 AM

 

  I agree with this.

Quoting 3timesoccermom:

Maybe he would do better in an activity like swimming or gymnastics where you don't really "lose" or "win" (unless you're in the competitive groups later). Or you could try waiting a year or 2.   Is he a perfectionist?


   I have a friend that was having the same issues with her son.  They stopped doing team sports and he is now taking Karate.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)