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Advice Needed =(

Posted by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 4:08 AM
  • 3 Replies

Hello,

My name is Alison and I am 24 years old.  I am 29 weeks pregnant with my first child and have had some really hard times lately and was told to sign up with Cafe Mom to hopefully get some advice and help. Im really scared of becoming a mom because I dont have the greatest relationship with my boyfriend. Some days he is great and others he is so mean to me. Theres days where he doesnt even call me and gets mad at me for the strangest things. Right now hes not talking to me because I gave his best friend some invites to our baby shower to pass out to some of our friends. I just dont see why that is such a big deal. Im very lost and feel like Im going back and forth from happy to sad every week. Everyone says to just leave him but he really is the most wonderful boyfriend most the time and then he goes on this strange tangent and its scary. He becomes someone I dont even  know....by verbally abusing me and saying just the most awful things. Then when he calms down he is the man of my dreams. I feel like its the highest of the high and the lowest of the lows when it comes to this relationship.  The main thing is I feel like he cares a lot more about his friends and what others think than me and our relationship.  Because I am about 7 months pregnant I deal with it for the sake of my baby and praying things will work out when the baby comes. However, I just dont know if he will ever change and stop having such a bad temper towards me. When things are going great I am the happiest women in the world but when he starts being mean and ignoring me out of nowhere I feel the most depressed I have ever felt in my life. I have had such an up and down emotional pregnancy and I wish that I wasnt putting so much stress and sadness on this baby, but I just cant help it because I love my boyfriend so much but I dont know  what to do.  Im just hoping that maybe getting my feelings out and talking to others that may understand might make this pregnancy easier. I really would appreciate any advice you can give me. Thank you!

 

by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 4:08 AM
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Replies (1-3):
lindz221
by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 4:34 AM

Has your relationship always been like this?  If it has, the stress of having a baby could make it go either way, and you should be prepared for that.  Sometimes a baby brings a couple closer together, and sometimes the stress tears them apart.  If this is a new development, then it could be that he's stressing about the baby coming, because you're getting close!  I know that's what my SO did.  I was crazy hormonal, and we were fighting EVERY DAY!  He was so scared that we wouldn't have enough money, or he wouldn't be a good dad.  All the fears you have, good dads have too!  They're scared, unsure of themselves, especially if this is his first too!  If this is an ongoing problem, and I'm assuming that you two aren't living together here, then give it a few months after the baby's born to see if things don't even out.  Hang in there mama, and feel free to message me if you want to talk, or just need to vent!

Big hugs to you!!

Baby Names - BabyNamey.com Name Badge Ticker

Allie3115
by on Apr. 13, 2009 at 5:57 PM

I just wanted to thank you for your reply. I am really lost right now and just have a hard time being happy when my relationship is going so bad.  He and I have decided to call it quits and we arent talking. He gets too verbally abusive towards me so I had to let go. Its so hard everyday but getting advice from other people like you really helps. I appreciate it!! =)

ColtsFan1912
by on Apr. 13, 2009 at 6:01 PM

I'm so sorry.

But if was being abusive (any type!) you did the right thing.

Quoting Allie3115:

I just wanted to thank you for your reply. I am really lost right now and just have a hard time being happy when my relationship is going so bad.  He and I have decided to call it quits and we arent talking. He gets too verbally abusive towards me so I had to let go. Its so hard everyday but getting advice from other people like you really helps. I appreciate it!! =)


"To sum it up all in one, I can't help but loving you, reminders of finer things so pure you were sure they would crumble & break, but so beautiful you knew they could not..perfect down to the last eyelash" Element 101.

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