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am I overreacting with my DH?

Posted by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 11:31 AM
  • 24 Replies
my DS is almost 2 years old and last night he woke up at 3:30-am and did not go back to sleep until 7:30 am, four hours awake. he wasn't crying or anything, he just kept tossing and turning and no matter what I tried, milk, socks for the cold, soft singing and rocking, nothing made him fall back asleep. my DS is not the problem though
the problem is my DH. I was supposed to drop my son off at his daycare today so I can go to school, like I always do. my husband is off today and he was going to bring his other daughter home to stay with us until the end of the week. well, I didn't bother waking my son off so early, at 8am to go to school because I thought he was going to have a very difficult day considering he hadn't slept at all. I assumed that it will be ok to leave him with his dad so i can go to school and he can hang out with BOTH HIS CHILDREN.
well, the thing is that when we woke up he got mad at me because he said that he had plans on taking his daughter out fishing and he didn't want to take him with him.

it makes me rather upset to think that he actually wanted me to drop the kid off, regardless of how tired he was and what a horrible night he had, he didn't care because hanging out with his daughter ALONE was more important.
how does a parent chooses to hang out with one child and intentionally refuse to take the other ones? I am planning on having a second child and I will never leave one kid behind when my intentions are to have fun, I will drag all my kids, even if they are 10, no matter what.
besides, he tries to say that he never hangs out with his daughter anywhere, but it is not like he hangs out with his son either, yeah, granted he sees him every day but he barely ever takes him to the park, or anywhere for that matter

now I decided not to go to school today so I can stay with my son and my adorable DH can go have fun with who seems to be his only child
by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 11:31 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ARMYBEBITA
by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 11:35 AM

i would be pretty pissed too. it doesnt sound very fair and i dont think you are overreacting at all

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sexeegyrl
by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 11:37 AM

I HATE when they act this way. My husband preaches to me all the time, "treat them the same"...yeah...well 'you do the same' lol.

I don't think you are overreacting. I would have stayed home as well to stay home with the baby.

I'm a SAHM to 4 children, Mommy to Irish Twins, married to my best friend, breastfeeding, circumsizing, anti CIO, spanking when needed, kids don't get away with much, NIP and don't care what you see b/c my child has a right to eat, keep a clean house, non husband bashing, LOVE to laugh, smart ass kind of Mommy. Nice to meet you.

"Natural feeding is the duty of every
mother and the birthright of every child"

"While breastfeeding may not seem the right choice for every parent, it is the best choice for every baby." ~Amy Spangler

MCEmommy
by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 11:38 AM

Sometimes my hubby wants to have one on one time like that with one of the children...I think its normal...however if he does it all the time I would be upset. Then I would think hes being lazy and doesnt want to chase after a two year old...or all the other things that may come along with a younger child on his day off...who knows. Sit down with him and explain how you feel and how it is bothering you.

MomToMags
by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 11:40 AM

How often does he see his daughter?  It might be that he wanted some one on one quality time with her and I don't think that's a bad thing necessarily. 

moms rock

momiofcristina
by Member on Apr. 8, 2009 at 11:41 AM

I think youre overreacting, your son is only 2 which means theres not much you can do with him. You know what i mean, hes too young to go fishing. Your hubby just wanted one on one with his kid that he doesnt live with. Theres  nothing wrong with that. 

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proudmommytoOJ
by Silver Member on Apr. 8, 2009 at 11:46 AM
he sees her like one weekend every two weeks. I understand that he wanted to spend quality time with her and that's not was bothering me I love that girl with all my heart anyways and I love having her over, but the situation was different. had my son had a normal night, he slept well and all that, I will have taken him to the daycare, head off to school and that's that, he would have gone out with his daughter,
but his son did not sleep well all night, he stayed up for 4 hours in the early morning and what I considered unfair was that he wanted to insist on taking him regardless of how he felt to the daycare so he can go out with his daughter.
its no one's fault that he didn't sleep well, he is just a baby, not even his fault, but if one of us had to stay with him, I think it should have been him because he was only planning on going fishing with his daughter while I had to go to school, which I think should have more priority

Quoting MomToMags:

How often does he see his daughter?  It might be that he wanted some one on one quality time with her and I don't think that's a bad thing necessarily. 


just_an_oli
by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 11:49 AM
I can understand why you are upset, but fishing with a two year old wouldn't be easy, not when you have another child to watch as well. Are you sure he wasn't worried about that? As for spending time alone with his daughter, I can also understand that. My mom used to do mommy/daughter dates with me and my sister all the time, and it was always on our own. However, I don't think he should have gotten mad.
proudmommytoOJ
by Silver Member on Apr. 8, 2009 at 11:50 AM
he got mad and he simply refused to stay with him after I reminded me of what I bad night he had

Quoting just_an_oli:

I can understand why you are upset, but fishing with a two year old wouldn't be easy, not when you have another child to watch as well. Are you sure he wasn't worried about that?

As for spending time alone with his daughter, I can also understand that. My mom used to do mommy/daughter dates with me and my sister all the time, and it was always on our own.

However, I don't think he should have gotten mad.

canthaveboys1
by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 11:56 AM

Yeah I would be pissed. I will admit though I do things with my kids that I think they will enjoy, they are all so different I do not ever tell the others they are not welcome though, that is horrible. If they choose not to go thats fine but at least give them the option, jeez! 

proudmommytoOJ
by Silver Member on Apr. 8, 2009 at 12:01 PM
thanks, I agree. that's how I am looking forward to be when I have more children. its like the other day I invited my stepdaughter to come with me and my son to Chucky Cheese even though I knew she would not be interested b/c she is almost 13, and she said no, but at least I invited her

Quoting canthaveboys1:

Yeah I would be pissed. I will admit though I do things with my kids that I think they will enjoy, they are all so different I do not ever tell the others they are not welcome though, that is horrible. If they choose not to go thats fine but at least give them the option, jeez! 


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