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Step children blues

Posted by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 12:55 PM
  • 5 Replies

 Hi. My name is Joni and I am new to the group. I hate to start out with a major problem, but that's how it's got to be I guess. I need help, guys! I have 4 step children who used to come visit us every other weekend, until right before Christmas. My husband had a fight with their mother, and the evil troll decided to call child services with false allegations about child abuse. We have never laid a hand of those kids, and she knows that but was just trying to cause us grief. There was a bruise on my 17 year old retarded step daughter's leg, which was there when she arrived at our house. It looked as though maybe she had fallen or something. Social Services came out and investigated, and we never heard from them again. The social worker actually told me that after looking at MY children, he knows they are happy and healthy and not abused, and that he doesn't know who called but that as far as he is concerned, the allegations were false. We were still scared to let the step children come over again. We don't want to go to jai for abuse the next time the witch decides to call DHS again. I don't want the social workers knocking on my door every day! Now it's been several months and the kids want to come stay with their dad again. What should we do? We want to see the kids of course, but we are scared, naturally, of what other problems the ex wife will dredge up for us.

by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 12:55 PM
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Replies (1-5):
Dannee
by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 1:18 PM

The word retarded is no longer used..

They use special needs now...

If I was you I would join the step parenting groups that are on here..

good luck

AmoMisBebes
by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 1:22 PM

Umm, if you really aren't hurting the children then don't worry about it.  Let the kids go over and don't worry about it. 

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MomOfFour30
by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 1:22 PM

Hi there. I have a step son and his mother is a freaking crazy person too. I feel for you. The children are old enough to tell if something did or didnt happen to them. I wouldnt worry. Let them come back and see their daddy. She is probably jealous of the relationship or something. My hubby's ex and I have always gotten along for the most part until we told the news that we were trying to have another baby.Then all hell broke loose. Good luck to you Momma!! 

easter eggMy child rearing, laundry folding, dishes washing, poop wiping, dog feeding, husband following, floor Swiffering, errand running, and tantrum calming does not label for who I am. I am a child of God,here with a purpose, to follow him, love and follow my husband, teach my children, and enlighten the world with my love of the Lord.

starleigh21
by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 3:13 PM

 I have 5 step-kids, we were getting them every other weekend, then we got custody of them for 6 months, she got custody back because she said I was hitting their hands with spatula's, making them eat raw egss off the floor, dirt, and coffee grounds, locking them in the basement, etc.

then she has custody (this was all before custody was decided in court, we had custody previously due to an order for protection on bm), we were getting every other weekend, UNLESS, she came up with a new problem and a reason not to let them come.

She became addicted to meth, living with a drug user/dealer, a bf who beat her, then a registered sex offender. Anytime we called child protection, they wouldn't do anything. As long as she or her drug user friends weren't using meth in the home with the kids, they couldn't do anything. We got custody may 8th 08 because she was being investigated again for having the kisd live with a registered sex offender. We've had them since.

 I've had cps at my door a few times, along with the cops to do welfare checks on the kids. I just blow it off and laugh at bm for trying to grasp at strings and play games. Child protection doesn't investigate anymore, all her lies were unfounded.

I just ignore it and keep going with the runnings of my house, and taking care of the kids while they are here. I do nothing wrong, I'm a better parent than either parent, and she can pull as much crap as she wants to, it will have no effect on me.

She hasn't tried since last April, that was when we were going to court for custody, she was grasping at strings trying to lie about me, so that she could keep custody.

Refusing to take the kids is just playing into what she wants to happen. It's wrong to put the kids through that, not being able to see their dad because it is at their expense. Take them, provide a loving, consistent, stable, healthy environment for them. When they lie (mine still do for attention to their bm), ignore it, or they'll do it more.

Don't take the easy way out, the kids will suffer for it. If you think it will help, do in-home therapy. That's what we're doing. That way I and everyone else in the house can talk about things that are bothering us and have a 'mediator' that can explain things more in depth.

Good Luck!

moodymomma26
by on May. 4, 2009 at 2:29 PM
Thanks guys, for all your thoughtful advice, and for letting me know that I am not the only one with these problems.
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