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Need Advice

Posted by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 3:25 PM
  • 7 Replies


I was just wondering what to do if this ever happened. How would I make sure certian people don't get custody of my children  (18 month girl, newborn boy)if something were to happen to me ond  my husband?

I'll tell you a little background as to why  I ask this. My father's family lives right here in town. Most of them have mental issues of some kind though you wouldn't know it by talking to them. A few have health issues. So, any of them would be out of the question.

My mother lives in another town about two hours away. My husband's family lives in another state, but I am sure that one of his family members would take them in. Ideally one of his family members would take them. My second choice would be my mother.

I don't know what to do to be sure that one of these people get the kids. My father lives here in town and would fight tooth and nail for them. The thing is I don't want him to have them. He is not a good man and is married to the bitch from hell. The only reason he would want the kids would be so noone else can have them and everyone would think he is so good. There would be no love., support, kindness, ect. Iknow this becasue he kidnapped me when I was 13 and made my life hell. He physically, mentally and sexually abused me. He kept me locked up in an attic for 6 years. I was only allowed out to go to school. I can't stand the thought of that happening to my children.

My father is a rich and powerful man. I don't want him to have my children, but I am afraid he would use this to his advatage to get them. What/ is there any thing I could do to make sure that the people I want to get my children get them?


I hope this post makes sense. I had a hard time trying to word it.

by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 3:25 PM
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Replies (1-7):
by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 3:40 PM

you and your husband need to come to an agreement on who would keep the kids. Then put it on your will, it's kinda hard for someone else to fight what has been stated on the will. You don't need to tell your family your final decisions.

by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 3:44 PM


by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 3:54 PM

what she said

by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 4:00 PM

I agree...put it in your wills. Though I would talk to whomever you choose and let them know ahead of time that they are being chosen.

My best friend and her husband came from an abusive family and do not want their kids raised in it if something happens to them. They asked me if I would take their 3 kids if anything happened and of course I said yes. They added it to their wills and their lawyer said that it would be difficult to get a judge to go against the will.

moms rock

by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 4:04 PM

You need to have legal papers drawn up. Talk to the ppl that you want to take your children b/c you want to be sure they would take them in. It would be really horrible if something happened to you and the ppl refused b/c nobody spoke to them about it beforehand to make sure.

by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 4:19 PM

You can also plan for this by getting an insurance policy that will provide for your children in the event of your death. And you do not have to tell anyone at all about it. That way as you are asking others if they would take care of your children this will not play a role in their acceptance, and it will not put you as an easy target for someone who would commit a murder for money. They do not wear signs, you know. not even your husband. Not that he would, but safe is better than sorry. And then you will have peace of mind that your children would be not only with people who guinuinely care about you and your kids, but that in the worst moment of a love ones life facing your death that your consideration will be learned and that they will feel happy in their hearts that you are the caring thoughtful friend and parent who thought of everything.

by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 4:25 PM

Ok i can relate my husband is an only child and well my  family I have 3 older Sisters none of them would I want raising my son who is 12 if something were to happen to us together . So what we did in our will we named two of our friends (hubby and wife) to take care of him who we trust more than anyone. We also named two other people who are married just incase something happened to the first couple before us or after us.arents

Our lawyer said that as long as it is in the will no one from either family can fight it because it is what we thought as parents was right for our childs up bringing.

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