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is 4 kids better than 3???

Posted by on Apr. 18, 2009 at 1:50 AM
  • 10 Replies
i just had my 3rd baby a month ago. now it's time to decide on birth control.
i want the IUD that has no hormones and lasts for 10 years, and i don't plan on taking it out to have more kids. so if i want to have one more baby , i have to decide now ...before i get pregnant again soon. i want to have it while i'm still young and get it out of the way. i have a 3 1/2 year old, a 2 year old and the baby now. I'm a stay at home mom right now, but the kids are all sharing a room. but i don't want to not have the other baby just because of house size.
i love being a mom, but don't want to feel like an octomom and annoy the hubby. also , i don't look forward to stretching my belly out again and going thru labor, but it might be worth it.
what do you think? should i have the 4th and then be done with it? or call it quits now?

by on Apr. 18, 2009 at 1:50 AM
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Replies (1-10):
tuckersmommy22
by on Apr. 18, 2009 at 1:57 AM
You could have an IUD put in now, and if you decide to have another one you can easily have it removed. That way you don't have to decide right this moment. I have the Mirena, it's ok, don't know if I highly recommend it, just cuz I've had a few side effects from it. It's just a thought, it's not difficult to have it put in or taken out, so it wouldn't be something that is impossible to do. Good luck with whatever you chose!!!

"If God brings you to it,
He will bring you through it.
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Every moment thank God."


~Audra (Tucker's Mommy)~
Cafe GroupAdmin
by Group Admin on Apr. 18, 2009 at 3:14 PM

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Hi musication4u,

Thank you for posting on Advice for Moms!

You can use our group search to find info already posted on this group. 

Here are some posts on How many kids is too many?:

http://www.cafemom.com/group/33201/forums/search_posts.php?keyword=How+many+kids+is+too+many&days=90

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musication4u
by on Jun. 30, 2009 at 6:42 PM
thanks for the replies. i think i'm going to try mirena and see what happens. with the copper iud, i've heard about hard periods and cramps...and i won't be able to function well taking care of 3 kids all day if i have those problems. so we'll see!
milmiracle
by on Jun. 30, 2009 at 6:47 PM

I guess that would depend on what u want.  I mean I wanted a kid more after I had 3 than before I had any of them.  I mean they are beautiful and bring us joy and new life and experiences but It was more hubby's desire than my own  Then after I though I was done I really truly wasn't.  So It's really up to u.  I would advice this, if u wanted the ones u have more than hubby, I mean u know who had to convince who of having them or not aborting them or whatever, then U should get that 10 year IUD, if not then  I think u shouldn't.   IDK JMO.

coffeeluvnmom3
by on Jun. 30, 2009 at 6:48 PM

Please do your research on the mirena, there is actually a mirena group on here....I just had it removed recently and wouldn't recommend it to my worst enemy...I had really bad cramps with it too.....

Quoting musication4u:

thanks for the replies. i think i'm going to try mirena and see what happens. with the copper iud, i've heard about hard periods and cramps...and i won't be able to function well taking care of 3 kids all day if i have those problems. so we'll see!


beastie_bchick
by on Jun. 30, 2009 at 6:56 PM

well you should allow your body to heal from having the last one. I know woman have babies back to back all the time but my OBGYN just told me that it takes about 2 years for your body to be ready again. Talk to your OBGYN about how you're feeling. Oh and why are you not considering house size? 4 kids, even 3, deliberately in one room seems unfair to me, jmo.

giffer
by on Jun. 30, 2009 at 6:58 PM

i've always wanted 4 kids so my opinions are biased. we have 2 & hubby won't have anymore. i do think 4 is better than 3, maily because they will each have a buddy. the youngest will be the odd man out - type of thing. that's the way it was in my family anyway, with the 3 of us.

            http://butterflywebsite.com/clipart/Btflyyel2.gif  butterfly on head   wife to mike in love

mommy to   megann  playing soccer girland dillon   toddler boy

nessy1980
by on Jun. 30, 2009 at 7:10 PM

 Its a personal choice. I have 3 and I am done i know I cant afford a 4th child well I could but things would be super tight and I dont want to do that. Would you be able to feed and clothe 4 kids? I would be asking myself these things.

comptonkids
by Gold Member on Jun. 30, 2009 at 7:26 PM

things to consider: your financial situation (CAN you afford another one? diapers? formula(if FF)), do you have room for another one(you do need to look at the size of your house...3 kids in one room is tight...IMO, i wouldnt do it..the max per room for ME is 2)

that being said...based on the way your post reads...its sounds to me like you dont really want another one, ...it "MIGHT" be worth it? that in and of itself tells me NO, you should not have another one

i am NOT bashing, just trying to give you some things to think about, and another opinion

i KNOW i want AT LEAST 4 kids...there isnt a doubt in my mind. I have an IUD right now, after 2..because our finances arent good. but as soon as we  get some things squared away..out it comes...that and the whole back to back pregnancies were hard on me



musication4u
by on Jun. 30, 2009 at 8:37 PM
can you post the link to the Mirena group? thanks...
we've basically come to the agreement that we are going to have an iud put in for now and if in a few years finances are better and i want to again, we'll have more kids. probably 1 or 2 more.
my body just needs rest i think now, and we can't fit any more kids in the house right now.
thanks for your replies. by the way, we do have enough room to make a separate nursery for the baby. so it's not that tight right now....
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