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The Best Way to Relax

Posted by on May. 8, 2009 at 2:54 PM
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Funny stuff!

A mother was teaching her three year old daughter The Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride, as she carefully said each word right up to the end..."And lead us not into temptation", she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail, Amen."

A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, "Mommy, why does the bride wear white?"

His mom replies, "The bride is in white because she's happy and this is the happiest day of her life."

The boys thinks about this, and then says, "Well then why is the groom wearing black..."

"And what will you do when you grow up to be as big as me?" asked the father of his little son.

"Diet."

'Grandad, do you know how to croak?'

I don't think so, Steven, why?"

'Because Dad says he'll be rich when you do.'

Twelve year old's response to the question, `why does a surgeon wear a mask when he performs an operation?': `So if he makes a muck of it the patient won't know who did it.'

Twelve year old's essay on 'what would you do to try and encourage motorists to show more consideration for others?': 'I would drive a police car.'

Doctor: I will examine you for twenty dollars.

Patient: Go ahead Doctor. If you find it you can have it.

In college I'm studying Pharmacy - because I've always wanted to be a farmer.

Husband: You have to admit that men have much better judgement than women.

Wife: You're right. You married me and I married you.

Husband: Let's go out on the town tonight and have some fun.

Wife: Yeah, but if you get home before me, remember to leave the front door open.

Man to marriage counselor: "My wife and I can't agree on our vacation. I want to go to Bermuda and she wants to go with me."

A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, "May I help you?"

The farmer said, "Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorces."

The attorney said, "Well do you have any grounds?"

The farmer said, "Yea, I got about 140 acres." The attorney said, "No, you don't understand, do you have a case?"

The farmer said, "No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere."

The attorney said, "No you don't understand, I mean do you have a grudge?"

The farmer said, "Yea I got a grudge, that's where I park my John Deere."

The attorney said, "No sir, I mean do you have a suit?"

The farmer said, "Yes sir, I got a suit. I wear it to church on Sundays."

The exasperated attorney said, "Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?"

The farmer said, "No sir, we both get up about 4:30."

Finally, the attorney says, "Okay, let me put it this way. WHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?"

And the farmer says, "Well, I can never have a meaningful conversation with her."

A married couple, both 60 years old, were celebrating their 35th anniversary. During their party, a fairy appeared to congratulate them and grant them each one wish. The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her wand and poof - the wife had tickets in her hand for a world cruise. Next, the fairy asked the husband what he wanted. He said; "I wish I had a wife 30 years younger than me." So the the fairy picked up her wand and poof - the husband was 90.

http://thejokes.co.uk/

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by on May. 8, 2009 at 2:54 PM
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nokesmomof2
by on May. 8, 2009 at 2:58 PM

some of them were pritty good

have kids born in 06&08 come join my group please
http://www.cafemom.com/group/momsof06and08
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