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oh.... the life of the spoiled child....

Posted by on May. 8, 2009 at 11:59 PM
  • 14 Replies

My son, the wonderful, beautiful baby boy that he is, does not like his crib.  I was wrong to let him fall asleep while nursing since he was born.  So now he is spoiled and protests whenever he is put down, unless he wants to be.

I have tried the "put him in his crib to cry it out" and it doesn't work.  That child screams bloody murder for an hour or more, whether I check on him or leave him be.  I have tried many times to break him of this habit. We put a few toys in, a shirt of mine and one of my husband's for the scent, thinking it would help him calm down.  It does not.  He only goes to sleep in there for his morning nap and that is after a long crying fit.  If I sit in the room with him, he gets severely angry with me and I'm not trying to sound like "one of those moms" but I would rather not make him upset if I don't have to.  I haven't talked to the pediatrician yet but hoping she will have advice.

He also shows no sign of weaning from the breast but he has 5 teeth.  He bites.  He pinches.  I am at a loss as to how to stop this.  My first child and no family or friends in the area to help.  I've been with him nonstop since he was born since we're alone here.  (Hubby is in the army)

He also won't take a bottle, formula, sippies or anything.  The only way I can usually get him to drink anything besides from the boob is to feed him with a straw, and he doesn't suck on it, I put the water in his mouth. 


I'm losing my mind lol.  I want to help him out of this, because it will only get worse later on if I don't break him of it now, I know.  But I just don't know how.


Help!

by on May. 8, 2009 at 11:59 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Seven07
by on May. 9, 2009 at 12:13 AM

Well, I stopped bf before my dd got teeth.. (disclaimer for any possible haters: my supply did not keep up well enough with her demand) but another mother said she yelled OUCH! and startled her baby and it made them stop.  Or put them down for five minutes or so then let them nurse again after time out.

My dd also co-sleep but we like to roll around a lot in sleep (although we are very light sleepers!)  I learned to put them down when they are still awake, if you CIO, tell them you will be back, kiss soothe, but leave again.  And when you do this, do not cave!  They will just learn to cry longer until you give up.  I'd let my dd go at first two minutes, I had to look at the clock, then 4 then 6... she's almost two and we've been doing the same routine forever now, and she goes off to bed without an argument.  She also knows if she wakes in the middle of the night I will come in and comfort her.  If your ds hasn't been in his crib, try putting him in for bit while awake with you in the room get him comfortable.  I put a light on for her and read also.  She used to have 5 or 6 "again" nights, lol but she's really good about bedtime now since she knows she is going to have to stick to the program, one way or another.  :)

Lisabeee
by on May. 9, 2009 at 8:34 AM

That sounds great!

He does sleep through the night in his crib, unless he's teething or just not feeling good in general.  It's during the day that I have the real prolems with him.  He won't go to sleep without a crutch and then sleeps so very lightly that he wakes up when put in his crib, then won't go back to sleep without screaming.  He doesn't just cry, he screams!  Ugh, it's been rough, we've been going a week now, and no change.  I know I need to be strong, but it's so hard when he's doing that.  I start feeling like I'm doing something wrong =/

4GiftsFromAbove
by on May. 9, 2009 at 8:40 AM

First about not being able to put your child down in the crib to go to sleep: I have 4  children. My oldest is 16 and my youngest is 4. I say, enjoy every minute of it. I rocked my babies to sleep every night as long as they would allow it. I still rock my 4 year old. Soon enough they say, "mom, I'm too old for that." Rocking my babies to sleep is my favorite part of the day. I sing to them and read stories until they fall asleep. By keeping the bedtime and waking time consistant, putting them to sleep doesn't take long, but it is something we both enjoy.

I didn't see how old your child is. What do you consider signs of weening? I nursed by babies anywhere from 10-18 months, but I was not opposed to nursing longer. My oldest daughter bit be once and I let out such a screan and put her right down on the floor (gently of course) and walked to the other side of the room. This was just a reaction and not planned, but it worked and she never bit me again :-)

My youngest son bit me and pinched me, but we later found out he has sensory issues. I could give you more info on that if you think that might be the case. If so, get in touch with me and I tell you about what we did.

Hope this helps.

Blessings,

sk_tennyson
by on May. 9, 2009 at 8:46 AM

Honey you cannot spoil an infant and teeth have NOTHING to do with weaning. You need to teach him nursing manners. Try kellymom.com and the breastfeeding moms group. 

MidnightKarma
by on May. 9, 2009 at 9:03 AM

Maybe he isn't getting full enough during the day to let him sleep peacefully. Do you feed him any solids at all? If not try feeding him just a jar before his naps on top of the nursing. 

KLOMAMA
by on May. 9, 2009 at 9:40 AM

Something you may want to try for the sleeping.   I put my daugther down (after rocking her)- while still awake but sleepy- and 3 out of 5 times she does go to sleep on her own without crying.  When she does not go to sleep and begins crying (pretty hard)  I stand by her in the crib and rub her back lightly and hum lightly to her.  She still protests- pretty hard- but usually after about 10-20 minutes she will calm & then go to sleep. I have also noticed that she cries alot more at night when her naps haven't been so good during the day.

 

Good Luck!   

 

laurajo84
by on May. 9, 2009 at 10:52 AM
Jaden was the same exact way. I ended up nursing her until she was 13 months, and stopped wanting to nurse because her molars were coming in. She did her fair share of biting, but I nipped that quickly. Anytime that he is starts slowing down on suckling, have your fingers ready, right by his mouth to break his suction. If he's biting, he's playing and done eating. He'll quickly lose interest in the biting, especially if you refuse to feed him until the next nursing session after he bites.
She slept with me for ten months, as well. I ended up getting her to sleep in her crib by sleeping in it with her, believe it or not, for three days, then putting an air mattress beside the crib and sleeping beside her for a week. The whole crying it out thing never felt right to me, because she would scream the most desperate, pitiful, little screams that I have ever heard. I could never bring myself to leave her. Although, once I got her in the crib, by herself, I would do the ferber method, except I would go in there every 5 minutes, and lay her back down, without saying a word, until she completely exhausted herself.
I know completely what you are going through. I know that it is hell, now, but you will ironically find yourself missing those days. Jaden is only 18 months and I still miss her sleeping with me and the bond of nursing, although I do love the freedom. You'll get through this. Just remember it's only temporary.
Oh, and on the formula thing, she would never take it, either. Have you ever tasted it? It's freaking horrible. Invest in a good breast pump :) Best of luck to you!!!!!
Lisabeee
by on May. 9, 2009 at 11:14 AM

Thank you for all the replies, everyone!

Joey is 8, going on 9 months and I planned on nursing him until a year and then switching to milk.  But I've screamed when he bites, purely from instinct, and he thinks it's funny.......... =/  Take it away and not give it back.  He still bites and I can feel his teeth when he's nursing.  It's VERY painful.  I can definitely pump, that'd be a nice relief, I just don't now how I'll get him to drink it. 

Staying in the room with him seems to make it worse, because I'm not picking him up.  He wants to be held all the time, unless he wants to play with his toys, but for the most part, it's in our arms he goes.


Maybe my problem is I never get a break, I'm with him 24/7, have been since he was born.   I just don't know what to do anymore.

4GiftsFromAbove
by on May. 9, 2009 at 11:25 AM

You say he just wants to be held all the time or he cries. Has he started any foods yet? Has he been imunized?

 

CatWoman0915
by on May. 9, 2009 at 12:11 PM

My son was very attached as well.I had to rock him to sleep before putting him in his crib at night.A good idea is to do a nightly ritual and evently he WILL get used to it.Mine is that I sing the same song to him everynight and then lay him in his crib and walk out.Now he is "trained" to know when Istart singing that it is time for bed and he goes down without crying.Hope this helps.:)

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