I know it's a new thing but I'm seriously concidering doing this with my brides maids DF's sister is great she is one of my best friends but when she is with her SO she's always drunk and always all over him. He is the dumbest man I've ever had to deal with. he's a smart ass he's rude, discusting and lazy. He was in a car accident a few yrs back and now he has a heart problem. So he gets disability and all I have to hear about when she is with him is that she only has to work 2 days a week because her man brings home a $1400 check each month for doing nothing. When he is not around she will sober up and she will be decent. She is sooo sweet and I love her I just can't stand him. I don't want to tell her who to be with because I know that family is not like that at all. They are more like give it time she will learn on her own. So today I was talking to my sister on the phone and telling her all of this. I told her I was going to make a contract with the girls basically it's going to say that there will be no drinking until after they eat and no SOs at the head table until after we are eating. My sister said that it was cool with her and she said she would even allow me to use her as my excuse when I go talk to his sister about it. I was wondering if anyone else has done this and what you would think if a bride make you to agree to something like this. I personally think it sounds fair. I am fine with her getting up after we eat and going to dance with him but at the reseption I don't want other guest to have to deal with her and him being very open about their relationship infront of everyone.
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sounds a little weird to me. Why don't you just talk to her end explain your wishes to her. If she's not responsible enough to abide them then she shouldn't be in the wedding. Whats a contract gonna do anyways? Are you gonna sue her if she gets out of her chair before she's done eating? Sounds a little childish to me. "Bridezilla" is a word that comes to mind. Just my opinion.
We may not have it all together, but together we have it all.
IDK maybe she'll go for it but IMO it's rude & insulting
Honestly I think a "contract" in this instance is pointless and may just cause animosity. You can not force her to behave the way you want her to. A contract can't either. What is the reprocusion for not following the contract?
I think you should just talk to her about what you expext, and if you don't think you can trust her possibly she shouldn't be in the wedding.
SO don't sit at the bridal table. There is a table set aside for all bridal party's SO. As for drinking why not just wait until after dinner to serve the booze so you won't have all kinds of people imbibing too much and ruining your day.
Oh dear I think I was very misunderstood. I'm sorry what I mean is setting them down and talking to them it would be more like a verbal "contract" ie. it would be set rules like no drinking until this time and no SO at the head table the whole time. Like I said I love his sister and she is a great person I really want her in the wedding but I need to talk to her about her man and I think that she would get the point but not feel singled out if I told all the girls the same thing. It won't be like lets all go take a trip to a lawyer's office or anything it will be more like I will set her down and tell her that I have talked to some of the brides maids and I think we have all agreed that it will be very tacky for anyone to start drinking that day until after this point and we have also agreed to non wedding party members not being at the head table until after we eat. I will just tell her that I had to come to this desition because of my own sister and her man who are always all over each other. ( I have already talked to my sister about using her as an excuse and she was ok with that.) There will not be a condition on it but more your morals and respect for me should be enough to say these are my wishes so everyone must follow.
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I find this unfair.
Surely youknew of her behavior and her relationship before you asked her to be in your bridal party. Having said that, knowing full well how she behaves you cannot ask her to sign the contract that says she won't drink until a certain time. Well you can, but who says she will abide by it. What is she doesn't and gets smashed and acts all crazy anyway.
People are not puppets, and real friends know how to behave on the behalf of others.
The only thing youhave the right to be insistant upon, IMO is dress fittings and making sure they pick up all their stuff on time.
Be reasonable, ask nicely with them in a group.
Also, I think it is unfair to have the entire bridal party sit at the head table sans dates or SO. WHy bother bringing a date if you cannot keep them company most of the time?
Quoting sweetrabozzi:sounds a little weird to me. Why don't you just talk to her end explain your wishes to her. If she's not responsible enough to abide them then she shouldn't be in the wedding. Whats a contract gonna do anyways? Are you gonna sue her if she gets out of her chair before she's done eating? Sounds a little childish to me. "Bridezilla" is a word that comes to mind. Just my opinion.
Lol I agree with this.
Im going to be a brides maid in my cousins wedding in August. I would be FLOORED if she sent me a contract stating these things. I would rather her call me and talk to me about that instead. Its more respectable imo. Whats the point of a contract unless youre going to take legal action if its broken? lol.
Like I said I think I was very misunderstood. Also I'm not saying that she can't be with her date most of the time. Oviously I am not planning on having the wedding party set during the whole reception. The plan is you eat at the head table then you are free to be with your dates the whole rest of the night. If you don't even want to be around me (lol) then fine but I just don't want her and her SO to be the center of attention at my wedding. No one will steal my thounder like I said though it's not something I'm going to write up or anything just I'll set her down and say that I already sat everyone else down and these are my feelings on the limitations. I probably will not service alcohol until after the dinner anyway. Would it be weird if we ate then did the toast? Then I think after the toast people can be free to dance and drink as they please.
Quoting Loved4Sure:I find this unfair.
Surely youknew of her behavior and her relationship before you asked her to be in your bridal party. Having said that, knowing full well how she behaves you cannot ask her to sign the contract that says she won't drink until a certain time. Well you can, but who says she will abide by it. What is she doesn't and gets smashed and acts all crazy anyway.
People are not puppets, and real friends know how to behave on the behalf of others.
The only thing youhave the right to be insistant upon, IMO is dress fittings and making sure they pick up all their stuff on time.
Be reasonable, ask nicely with them in a group.
Also, I think it is unfair to have the entire bridal party sit at the head table sans dates or SO. WHy bother bringing a date if you cannot keep them company most of the time?
All moms are super heros so come check out this group. If you are already a member please take part in the photo contest we are having!!!!
http://www.cafemom.com/group/Superheromoms
what's the best way to...
- Skygirl1985
on May. 10, 2009 at 10:51 PM