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WTF should I do?*UPDATE with more info*

Posted by on May. 24, 2009 at 12:05 PM
  • 10 Replies

Ok so I currently am living with my mom and 15 year old brother. My mom and I signed a lease together and whatnot so it is our home now. Well my brother has no changed since we moved at all. He still yells and curses and throws fits like a 5 year old. Recently he has started yelling at DD for doing normal 1 months old things. Just yesterday she was playing and hit the remote while he was watching something and he yelled at her like she punched him in the face. When I told him to stop yelling at her he said shut your mouth. Then I said please stop and he said you're a bitch. He yelled at me calling me a lazy bitch and a stupid bitch because I didn't wash his dishes. Mind you again he is 15. Yesterday DD was throwing her own fit(which I do blame myself because I yell a lot but I also blame him) and I mean I got so upset because my little girl was so upset and she could not tell me why. Her little face was all red and she was just standing there screaming. Finally I got her to sit on my lap and just said softly in her ear It's ok mommy's here and I love you over and over until she calmed down. I do yell I will admit it and I do yell at her but not for doing normal 18 month old things. I just can not take it anymore. You may ask what my mother does about my brother well she just says Jason stop that. When I say can't you do anything else she says what do you want me to do beat him I say of course not but maybe getting off your ass and out of your room to handle it that might help just a bit. Now I can not move out right now not only do I not have the means but I am on the lease and that would look bad with another place that I left 1 months after signing a lease. Plus the fact that I absolutely love my new apt. It is so cute and big and sunny and there's a huge backyard and a park down the street. I just need some advice on how to deal with this kid my mom I can not change but my brother needs to. I remember growing up seeing how my aunt spoke to my mom and grandma and I blame that on how I spoke to my mom. I saw it as my aunt talks that way to her mom what is wrong with it and how she spoke to my mom I thought it was just how people spoke you know. I do not want that for my DD. I already messaged her daddy on myspace because he is not home he is at the bassist(from his band) house and I know he uses his computer sometimes. I know he is really busy with the band cutting their demo and doing shows promoting their demo figuring out which labels to send it too you know all that BS. I understand that you know he gets signed and everything I will not have to do anything( he said that himself) and me and his DD will be taken care of and the band is really awesome They just need to figure out the right label for the genre. I understand he is busy but I think not only do I need him but I think DD would benefit as well. So again any advice on what to do about my brother?


*UPDATE* ok so I will explain a bit. I have never moved out I have always lived with my mom and now she hates it even though when I was pregnant I was suppossed to move in with DDs dad and my mom asked me not to because he was an hour away and because his sons lived up with there mom he wanted me to move in with him so he would not have to move away from the boys which I agreed with. That would not have been right at all. So whatever my mom practicly begged me not to go and being 20 years old pregnant with my first baby I wante dto be close to my mom so I stayed with her. My brother was not always this bad it seems to have started oh I would say last summer. He always had an attitude but nothing major. Since last summer He has just been getting worse and worse. I think it had to do part with my mom seeing a younger guy(2 years younger than me) I did not have a problem with it because well he showed me and my DD respect and treated all of us very well. He moved in before my brother finished school and he would do his homework with him and all that jazz. My brother did not like it and I think since I was ok with it he started getting mad at me since we are siblings we should you know team up but I was not going to. My mom was happy and noone was getting hurt. Then he was hanging out with a horrible kid that had a even worse attitude and I think that rubbe doff a bit. Even his best friend tells him he is not very nice to me or my mom( his best friend is a very sweet kid) SO whatever over the fall and winter I started having a very good relationship with DDs dad who I was not talking to for a while since he wanted me to move in with him and I didn't. So my mom wanted to move and I said hey lets go up by Joe. He said you know the schools are great and the ton and nice so we did it. So we have been here 3 weeks and nothing has changed. I mean right now he is playing with DD making funny faces and making her laugh her but off. The thing that really bothers me one is that DD really loves him. When he gets home from schoo she runs to him hey unkie hey unkie. And also that he treats me like crap and it may sound dumb but I had a good friend and i was also friends with his little brother. Well they hated each other like really bad and my friend passed away and now his brother hates himself for what he did to his brother and I do not want that to happen. I do not want something to happen and either one of us and be sorry.

I'm a single,tattooed,vaxing,former co-sleeping,pro-choice,pro-Obama,pro-gay marriage,anti-gun,anti-war,tree hugging,animal loving,book reading,animal testing free,non animal wearing,trying to get a vegetarian diet,depression battling,cigarette smoking mom trying to raise a free spirit and letting her be who she is.don't like it get over it.

by on May. 24, 2009 at 12:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Mom2LiamNMolly
by on May. 24, 2009 at 12:12 PM

It sounds like a volitile environement for your daughter to be raised in. Lease or no, if you mom and brother won't leave, you need to. You are putting your daughter in a dangerous situation and if you don't remove her from it, you are only being a bad parent.

                  proud-mom-two-kids.gif                                                                         Stefanie - Mom to Irish Twins Liam 7/07 (IUGR) and Molly 06/08 (IUGR,  Developmental Delays, Pre-Natal Stroke) and Wife to Mark since 2006.

Mamamanic
by Gold Member on May. 24, 2009 at 12:13 PM

I would say maybe he is having some emotional problems and needs to talk to a doctor or someone.

1mom08
by on May. 24, 2009 at 12:13 PM
Tell him to grow up, get some friends!! He is 15 he shouldn't be acting like that. Your mom seem's to have some to do with the attitude buy staying in her room all the time, he's your brother not your son you need to tell them together that she needs to be the parent! That is your home too not just there's.

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GOBryan
by Gold Member on May. 24, 2009 at 12:13 PM

Sounds to me like you and your mother have given him permission to treat you that way.. A 15 year old is a child and should be respectful, especially to adults. 

If my 16 year old daughter spoke to me that way, she would have been slapped from here to next friday. 

It sounds like "Therapy" is the key word.

 

1mom08
by on May. 24, 2009 at 12:16 PM
Quoting GOBryan:

Sounds to me like you and your mother have given him permission to treat you that way.. A 15 year old is a child and should be respectful, especially to adults. 


If my 16 year old daughter spoke to me that way, she would have been slapped from here to next friday. 


It sounds like "Therapy" is the key word.


 




I agree! But you have to get your Mom to see he need's it.
1mom08
by on May. 24, 2009 at 12:18 PM
Quoting Mom2LiamNMolly:

It sounds like a volitile environement for your daughter to be raised in. Lease or no, if you mom and brother won't leave, you need to. You are putting your daughter in a dangerous situation and if you don't remove her from it, you are only being a bad parent.





She isn't being a bad MOM she is trying to do whats best for her DD that is why she is asking for advice.
delilahsmom1177
by on May. 24, 2009 at 12:56 PM

Thank you. There is nothing I can do about him he is not my son what could I do?

Quoting 1mom08:

Quoting Mom2LiamNMolly:

It sounds like a volitile environement for your daughter to be raised in. Lease or no, if you mom and brother won't leave, you need to. You are putting your daughter in a dangerous situation and if you don't remove her from it, you are only being a bad parent.





She isn't being a bad MOM she is trying to do whats best for her DD that is why she is asking for advice.


I'm a single,tattooed,vaxing,former co-sleeping,pro-choice,pro-Obama,pro-gay marriage,anti-gun,anti-war,tree hugging,animal loving,book reading,animal testing free,non animal wearing,trying to get a vegetarian diet,depression battling,cigarette smoking mom trying to raise a free spirit and letting her be who she is.don't like it get over it.

texasgirl1611
by on May. 24, 2009 at 1:03 PM

He would have gotten slapped in the mouth or face.  If he's man enough to talk to me that way he's man enough to take the consiquences.  I don't know his full situation, but sounds like he needs to talk to someone about it.

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tiffanysgirls
by on May. 24, 2009 at 1:51 PM
First, I would have NEVER moved in with my mother if I knew my brother who acted this way would be living with me. I hope you are looking for a new place to live ASAP. I don't want to be too over the top but....haven't you heard of those stories where a child gets killed or seriously injured and everyone says in hindsite that they should have seen it coming because there were signs. Well, THESE ARE SIGNS!

I Know it sucks having to find a place and move but your daughter is worth it! Even if your brother never physically hurts her (though he might)....he is still emotionally and mentally damaging her.
wilesmomma
by on May. 24, 2009 at 2:12 PM

 100% agreed!!

Quoting tiffanysgirls:

First, I would have NEVER moved in with my mother if I knew my brother who acted this way would be living with me. I hope you are looking for a new place to live ASAP. I don't want to be too over the top but....haven't you heard of those stories where a child gets killed or seriously injured and everyone says in hindsite that they should have seen it coming because there were signs. Well, THESE ARE SIGNS!

I Know it sucks having to find a place and move but your daughter is worth it! Even if your brother never physically hurts her (though he might)....he is still emotionally and mentally damaging her.


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