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UPDATE: I am only human... Am I wrong for feeling this way.

Posted by on May. 24, 2009 at 1:52 PM
  • 4 Replies

Read my Journals on my home page for the entire story...


My husband had been in Ohio for over 6months. He left my 3 children and I when he lost his job, now he reside with his mother.

Our house went under and I had to think on my feet fast to support my children.

I filed for a divorce yet, he do not want to sign the papers.. Therefore, I am going to work around him.

My children and I are doing fine. We reside in an apartment and living average ( it's not what we are used too but we are blessed we have a roof over our heads).

I am still in Medical School, working part time and always tired as heck.. Yet, I make sure I make time my kids by taking them to the park or going out on an outing.

It's hard but I am doing what I have to do for my children...

Ladies, Would it be wrong or selfish of me if I made time for myself and maybe date every onces in awhile?

Again, if you want to read the whole story... Stop by my home page  and feel free to read my journals.



Ladies, I thank you all for taking the time out to read my post. I also thank you all for making suggestion. They helped out a lot!

Well Ladies, I took a break for "ME" time this weekend. I went to a festival at the park and listened to classical jazz live. It was awesome! I felt so relaxed listening to the smooth jazz.

In the mean time..I haven't spoke to my husband in a while. Because I needed a piece of mind. He call and text me all times of the night.  He had the nerve to ask me do I still want him to send me some money.. I didn't respond at all to either of his text messages nor calls. I felt like I didn't have to respond to his text messages. Reason for: He know I need help with our children.


I know we do not suppose to question God.. I did yesterday because my husband sent me a text saying " I took the job in New York.. They going to pay me a nice salary, also they are going to pay for my gas, food, and housing.. Not to mention they letting him stay in a house on the property which has 3 bedroom and 2 baths. He said he is not coming back to GA because he is not  strong enough.


Ladies, after I read the text messages I cried and cried. I asked God why are you blessing him and he left his family? Why is he getting everything his heart desire and I am struggle with 3 kids.. I am not angrywith God but I don't understand how he is getting blessed knowing I need those blessing.


It seems like when a person live for God.. Hell always come none stop.. But when a person does wrong it seems like blessings always come their way.

I am here struggle everyday! I do not have enough money for pampers, gas, or the utilities bills. I am flat out broke... He has gotten his check. Yet, he haven't sent us nothing.


Last week I put him on Child Supprt.. Because I cant go on thinking he will come around..

He feels like he is a single man.. He thinks he has no responsibilities..

Sometimes I feel like giving up because it is to much for me to bare.. I try to be strong for my children.. Everyday its something else, or more bad news..... Every day I think how am I going to get through the day.. How will I pay this or that..


Yet, my husband is living stress free..

I just don't understand ladies...

I am drain and tired...



by on May. 24, 2009 at 1:52 PM
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Replies (1-4):
by on May. 24, 2009 at 1:58 PM
Be strong, momma. Though things may seem "easy" for him now...he will never reap the rewards of your family. Your children and the love you share with each other is something he will have to live without! File for child support because he owes it any YOU and your babies deserve it!

If you are chrisitian than keep praying and remember that the bible tells us that things ARE harder for those who walk in faith. Satan never tries to mess with anyone who is already on the wrong path. Why would he waste the time? This is your trial. So, pray and be strong. GL momma!
by on May. 24, 2009 at 2:03 PM

I am so sorry you are going through this.One thing you must remember is that when you are a Christian and living your life for Christ,you WILL have more trials.These are tests that test your strength and faith.Just hold on and keep your faith.You will be blessed in the end.And trust me,he WILL get what he deserves.

by on May. 24, 2009 at 2:06 PM

I am really sorry you have to go through that. I have been there in a similar situation. It will get easier, just take one day at a time. Sometimes God works in mysterious ways. You make sure you are OK with God and let God take care of the rest. God will take care of you and your 3 children. He will also deal with your husband for what he has done when the time is right.

by on May. 24, 2009 at 2:09 PM

I am so sorry you are going through this.  I am also dealing with it.  I get frustrated when he brags that he gets to go out and have some fun and tells me about all the sleep he is getting when my 7 month old still wakes up at night.  I calm down though when I look over and I see our three small children and I thank God everyday that I am here with them.  He will get what is coming to him when he realizes his kids don't know him or trust him very much.  Also, God gives you what you need to get by.  There have been times when I seriously thought that we weren't going to make it through that month and sure enough God pulled us through.  I try not to stress about it, which is VERY hard for me to not do, because He will pull me through.  Mine left 8 months ago and I still haven't been able to find a job that will pay enough for childcare.  I am also in school full time.  It is hard but I get to see the smiles and I get the hugs everyday.

As far as going out and getting some time to yourself.  You need it so do it.  I am not going to tell you to date because that is a personal choice and one you might not be ready for, I know I am not.  I do go out with my friends every once in a while to refresh.  It is nice to get a little break from reality for a few hours.  Many hugs and I am here if you want to message me. 

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