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I really stepped in it this time

Posted by on May. 24, 2009 at 4:06 PM
  • 12 Replies

Why don't I think before I talk??? LOL.

Molly's 1st birthday is the 7th. Her party, combined with Liam's 2nd birthday party, is the 20th. My inlaws KNEW that and still scheduled a family reunion that day... at their home 75 miles away. Whatever, my family doesn't get along with them anyways.... I mean, they will NOT be in the same room and we cannot discuss my parents with my inlaws oe vice versa...

Well, my FIL called and said they want to take us out on Molly's birthday. They won't come to my house because I have cats and my MIL has suddenly decided she is allergic to cats and they will kill her (mind you, until 2 years ago she had had various cats in her home for 43 years at least).... and taking the kids out that late is a chore... but for some flippen unknown reason, I agreed...

Well, unbeknownst to me, my mom planned a small surprise party for Molly on that same day. My friend told me after I told her I was stuck with the inlaws that night.... she didn't want a real problem to come up.

So now what? My mom will lose it if I bail on her party for my in-laws... my MIL will send herself into a crying tizzy and claim she is dying (again) if we bail...

What should I do here??? Oh, and I can't do anything like earlier in the day because DH is working... and the day before is the day my inlaws come home from a 10 day cruise... and the day after, both kids get their shots and Liam always gets really sick and really bad fevers... HELP HELP HELP!!!

                  proud-mom-two-kids.gif                                                                         Stefanie - Mom to Irish Twins Liam 7/07 (IUGR) and Molly 06/08 (IUGR,  Developmental Delays, Pre-Natal Stroke) and Wife to Mark since 2006.

by on May. 24, 2009 at 4:06 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Celeste825
by on May. 24, 2009 at 4:11 PM

Do the surprise party.  I'm sure your mom has already invited a bunch of people and can't reschedule that many people so quickly.  However, you MIL is only one person and should be able to re  schedule a dinner

Mommy2_two
by on May. 24, 2009 at 4:16 PM

Well either way you are going to have to deal with something.  I would rather go to teh surprise party for my DD b/c that would be fun. Hey just tell DH to go with his parents and you can go to the party with your mom. :)LOL

PrissyKrissy05
by on May. 24, 2009 at 4:25 PM

You're going to have to deal with someone being upset about it no matter what you do. I would say to do the surprise party, since your mom probably already invited a lot of people.. where as your mother-in-law can easily reschedule. Your little ones would have more fun at a party, than going out, ya know?

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gmkamm
by on May. 24, 2009 at 4:30 PM

While I may be the miniority here, you commited to the dinner with the inlaws without knowing about the surprise party.  If your parents were planning a party for your daughter, they should have cleared the day with you.  You could have had a number of prior commitments for that day.  However, I would ask your inlaws to meet you at a restaurant that is close to your house.  You shouldn't have to drive that far if they are the ones wanting to do the dinner - they should know you can't keep younger kids out that late.

Soefya20
by on May. 24, 2009 at 4:34 PM

I would say go to the party

Quoting Celeste825:

Do the surprise party.  I'm sure your mom has already invited a bunch of people and can't reschedule that many people so quickly.  However, you MIL is only one person and should be able to re  schedule a dinner


Trinity12.06.08
by on May. 24, 2009 at 4:45 PM

You are slowly coming out of the minority group lol.

I also agree with this. You agreed to do the dinner regardless if you were thinking or not before you answered her invitation - you said yet. While it's sweet that your mother planned a surprise party, you already have prior comittments. Your mother should have nonchalantly figured out a way to know if the day was available on your part or not. Sorry, but I'm with the lady im quoting.

Quoting gmkamm:

While I may be the miniority here, you commited to the dinner with the inlaws without knowing about the surprise party.  If your parents were planning a party for your daughter, they should have cleared the day with you.  You could have had a number of prior commitments for that day.  However, I would ask your inlaws to meet you at a restaurant that is close to your house.  You shouldn't have to drive that far if they are the ones wanting to do the dinner - they should know you can't keep younger kids out that late.


kngarber
by on May. 24, 2009 at 4:54 PM

A suprise party for a one year old?  Really?  I am stuck on that...I have just never heard of such a thing...

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Joeysmom6
by on May. 24, 2009 at 4:57 PM
You agreed to go to the dinner. You had no idea that there was a surprise party planned for that day/night (lol, thats why its called a surprise). You mother will just have to understand that you had a prior engagement with someone else.
** I was told at 13 that I could NEVER have kids....At 18 I was on the Patch to regulate my periods and my DH and i used a condom EVERY time..... I still wound up pregnant.... this little boy that I am carrying is LITERALLY my miracle baby**

RockTheSocks
by on May. 24, 2009 at 5:03 PM

at this point I wouldnt do either.

Your inlaws asked you so they would have priority.  its nice of your mom to do the surprise thing, but when there are little kids involved you MUST alway ask.

So I would tell you mom that you know and that you're sorry but you cant do it and then tell your inlaws about what you mom was doing and that to make it fair you're not going with them either.

They can deal with it.

Trinity12.06.08
by on May. 24, 2009 at 5:45 PM

that will just hurt everyone. At least the mom would understand about the previous engagement, but then to lie and tell the inlaws about the party, and not even go, that's a low thing to do.

Sorry but thats JMO.

Quoting RockTheSocks:

at this point I wouldnt do either.

Your inlaws asked you so they would have priority.  its nice of your mom to do the surprise thing, but when there are little kids involved you MUST alway ask.

So I would tell you mom that you know and that you're sorry but you cant do it and then tell your inlaws about what you mom was doing and that to make it fair you're not going with them either.

They can deal with it.


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