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Does your kid follow you everywhere? Help!

Posted by on May. 24, 2009 at 11:28 PM
  • 10 Replies

School is out of the year and I'm sorry to say that I'm dreading summer mostly because of my 9 year old daughter.  The problem is that she follows me everywhere.  She wakes up before I do and if I'm not up within about 20 minutes she's at my bedroom door playing as LOUDLY as she can to wake me up and then it's downhill from there.  She follows me everywhere throughout the house and has to know where I am at all times.  If I am quiet, she will come find me. She talks non-stop and within a few minutes (and I have timed her) that I sit down at the computer, she is at me and will talk and interrupt me every 3-5 minutes.  It's like she can't stand for me not to pay attention and talk to her 24/7. 

Now, here is the kicker, she is not neglected and DOES get plenty of my time.  We cook together, we play games, we do her homework together, shoot, we do EVERYTHING TOGETHER and she is still begging for MORE.  If I run errands, she's right there with me. We play dolls together, I play ball outside with her.  When I do gardening, she's right there with me.

It drives me crazy.  We have plenty of things to do too.  We have Wii with lots of games for her and she rarely if ever plays it.  We have an Xbox on another TV, again, she never plays.  She only watches TV before I get up or suddenly when it's bedtime she's interested in watching TV. She doesnt play on the computer much.  She won't read except before bed when I shut my door and tell her NOT to come in unless there is a fire because I'm going to sleep.  We have pets, we have a huge yard.  We have a swing.  We have neighbors that she will play with, that is one thing she does do is play outside when there are kids around, but that's not often.  She has a bike, a scooter, all kinds of outdoor toys.  She is involved in extra curricular activities.

What am I doing wrong and what can I do to break her of this?   I'm tired of it and they have only been out of school for a week. Just so you know how serious I am, last week she ran into the door because I was closing it to GO TO THE BATHROOM and she was hot on my tail.   The kid is 9 years old and doesnt need to accompany me to the bathroom.

HELP!  How do I get her to stop this?  What am I doing wrong?  How do you all get your kids to occupy themselves?  Trust me, I'm not that exciting.

by on May. 24, 2009 at 11:28 PM
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Replies (1-10):
steph2884
by on May. 24, 2009 at 11:51 PM

Just wait a couple of years... she'll turn into a hormonal pre-teen, then full blown teenager. She'll want nothing to do with you and you will be wanting these days back! Unless she's in the low percentage of teenage daughters that hang around with their moms all the time. Just take her out, do things with her, let her go to the park or pool and play with kids her age. Does she have siblings? Let her spend a day at a friend's house. Enjoy these days while they last though, cause she will be changing here real soon.

KellyK10
by on May. 25, 2009 at 12:50 AM

I know what youre saying but right now, its really a pain in the butt.  I feel bad because there are times where I HIDE from her.  I will lock myself in my bedroom with nothing to do, but I'm just happy not to have her yapping  behind me all the time.

Anyone else experience this? 

tkarstens
by on May. 25, 2009 at 12:59 AM

My niece does this to my sister. she is 13. here is a bump!!!bump

SAHM, mommy to a 4 year old princess, mommy to a beautiful baby angel Jensen 3/6/08-08/26/08 who was taken from us by SIDS, Pregnant with baby #3 due on Dec 5 2009!!! Married to my wondeful Navy man!!!!!



sids ribbontoddler girlexpecting babynavy

Valnmommy
by on May. 25, 2009 at 1:27 AM

I'll bump - I have no advice though. DD is only two and she follows me around - but that's to be expected at her age.

It honestly sounds like your DD is bored - You said there aren't many kids around the neighborhood that often and when there are she'll go play. So maybe you should try having her call one of her friends and planning a day for her friend to come over - or for her to go to her friends house.

mcperez
by on May. 25, 2009 at 9:45 AM

 

Maybe it is some unexplained fear. When my son was nine he worried about everything from dying,the house being robbed,storms,his school cathing on fire,just evey little thing. Maybe ask her if she is feeling worried about something. I worked when my son 9 , now I have been out of work for 2 yrs,my daughter is 4. I can see the difference in her at 4 and him at 4. My 4 yr old does follow me alot, but we live in a single wide,so I can't go to far.kissing dadRemember they learn from you.

tmhmom
by on May. 25, 2009 at 11:24 AM

She'll grow out of it. Trust me. In a year or two, she won't want anything to do with mommy.

In the meantime, establish some firm rules about mommy time. Make it clear that you need some time alone, too, and that she is just going to have to entertain herself during those times.

If you have a separate room that you can go to, and close the door, this is a very clear meaning. Your alone time is when you are in that room, and she can only interrupt you for emergencies. Period.

It may take a little patience and practice, but you have all summer to work it out.

The Mother

http://www.mothershandbook.net

autumnsmommy02
by on May. 25, 2009 at 12:00 PM

I'm sorry I know this isn't as funny for you but I have to laugh. I'm getting the most hilarious vision of her running into the door when you closed it. lol

My son is almost a yr. and I'm beginning to think I imagined the whole pregnancy and delivery thing and he's really a mole growing on my lap somewhere. LMAO  I pray he's not like this at 9.

My nephew is almost 7 and he's like that with his mom though. He cries when she has to go to work or something. He doesn't actually try to follow her into the bathroom but he'll talk EVERYONE'S ears off. I have tried many times to locate an off switch on that boy (LOL) ... man it would a nice feature for kids to come with sometimes ... wouldn't it? :)  I love my kids but man sometimes we just a little time away to do "Mommy" stuff.

Anyway ~ Have you asked her why she likes to be so close all the time? Maybe there's actually something that's bothering her and being clung to you makes her feel more secure or something. Maybe if you sit down and explain to her that mommy needs "Mommy time" for a short time everyday? Or set a time frame where she HAS TO (no ... if's, and's or but's) do something on her own each day in her room or something.

Just an idea. Hope you find something that works!

 

smiley630
by on May. 25, 2009 at 12:06 PM

I can sympathise with you.  My 5 yr old son follows me everywhere.  But he follows everyone.  Yesterday my FIL was over for lunch and he went to the bathroom, shut the door but not lock and DS opened the door on him.  I yell out "Welcome to my world" I thought FIL was going to die laughing.  He said it had been 40 yrs since a little boy had walked in on him in the bathroom

We could learn a lot from crayons: Some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colours, but they all exit very nicely in the same box,

styler7
by on May. 25, 2009 at 12:09 PM

My 9yr old has gotten a bit better at following me around, she spends more time outside...but...That girl can talk. And talk. And talk. Sometimes I just nod my head in agreement, or just so she she's I am 'paying attention', then later on after she is in bed I feel bad that she spend so much time talking to me and I seriously had no clue as to what she said.

karalynsunshine
by on May. 26, 2009 at 3:54 PM

Hey there...don't worry about it. your daughter is just wanting to be near you. give her something to do like have her color in a coloring book. maybe if you have scrap paper you could have her draw you a picture...maybe read a book to her every once in a while or take her to the park..

hope those ideas help out.

Have a wonderful week

KARALYNSUNSHINE

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