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Would you stay with someone even if...

Posted by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 2:49 PM
  • 24 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Would you stay with your SO/DH if you knew you would not have any kids or you would not have anymore?

Options:

YES

NO

MAYBE (if there was a slight chance he would change his mind)

OTHER (please explain)


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 77

View Results

Would you give up the chance to have a baby to stay with your SO/ DH

My lil sister is 21 years old. She married a 36 year old and he already has one child. He told her that he will never have anymore kids. She doesnt have any children of her own.

I just think this should have been something that should have been discussed BEFORE MARRIAGE! Now she is married to a man that absolutely refuses to have anymore kids and what she is supposed to give up being a mommy to stay with him?

Im pretty pissed about the whole situation....I know blah blah blah its not your life its your sisters.....yeah well I think she deserves to be a mother and have a child of her own!! There is nothing like the love a mother has and now she will never experience it because she married this looser!

So my question is would you stay with someone even if you knew you would never have any kids or any more kids?

by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 2:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Smiley001
by Bronze Member on Jun. 9, 2009 at 2:52 PM

My boyfriend said he didn't want anymore kids but he is really excited that we are expecting a boy late july. He may change his mind but what would happen if she got pregnant and they weren't trying. Would he just leave her??

1sonand3angels
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 2:57 PM


Quoting Smiley001:

My boyfriend said he didn't want anymore kids but he is really excited that we are expecting a boy late july. He may change his mind but what would happen if she got pregnant and they weren't trying. Would he just leave her??

He said that he wants to get a vasectomy so that doesnt happen

Fairegirl33
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 2:57 PM

Yes, it should have been discussed before marriage.

I had a similiar problem in my marriage (I'm in the process of getting divorced now)  We have three children.  Our children were at the time of this problem 3, 5, and 13.  The oldest was from a previous relationship that I had, my husband adopted him after we married.  I had my son when I was 18.  I was finished having babies.  I wanted to see our lives in the future for US, just he and I.  We like many couple struggled with raising our children financially and I just didn't want to have any more for many reasons.  He was livid about my decision.  This one 1 of the reasons our marriage ended.  How many freakin' babies did I need to have to make that man happy ?  I am not a SAHM, I work all day and raise children.

Having children is a MAJOR discussion couples should have BEFORE marriage.

 


I am not an Athenian or a Greek, but a citizen of the world.


Socrates, from Plutarch, Of Banishment
Greek philosopher in Athens (469 BC - 399 BC)


 ~Melissa 

Chick
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 2:58 PM

I voted no, but really it depends on the reason. If we truely loved each other, but there was a valid reason he didn't want children, I might could cope. But if he is not sensitive to my needs, then no I wouldn't. Being a mother is so important to women, at some point in life most of us get that maternal feeling, baby fever, what ever you want to call it. It's in our genes to want to nurture. That's why older women turn to gardening and such when their kids are all gone, we all want something or someone to nurture.  Before we get to the point of wanting kids, some of us take on pets instead. Either way we are doing what is natural. I can't imagine the man I love and who says he loves me wanting to keep that from me. It is very selfish of him, since he has his one, he is done. Does he love his daughter the way he should, if so, how could he not want her to experience that? If he is a crappy father, even more reason to leave him.

1sonand3angels
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 3:30 PM


Quoting Chick:

I voted no, but really it depends on the reason. If we truely loved each other, but there was a valid reason he didn't want children, I might could cope. But if he is not sensitive to my needs, then no I wouldn't. Being a mother is so important to women, at some point in life most of us get that maternal feeling, baby fever, what ever you want to call it. It's in our genes to want to nurture. That's why older women turn to gardening and such when their kids are all gone, we all want something or someone to nurture.  Before we get to the point of wanting kids, some of us take on pets instead. Either way we are doing what is natural. I can't imagine the man I love and who says he loves me wanting to keep that from me. It is very selfish of him, since he has his one, he is done. Does he love his daughter the way he should, if so, how could he not want her to experience that? If he is a crappy father, even more reason to leave him.

This statement is an understatement! lol

This issue is not the only one that would raise a red flag and tell me to run from this man! He just got out of jail for not paying his child support.

I just want my sister to open her eyes and realise he is a POS and she deserves so much better.

dosthepost
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 3:34 PM

You're right, before marriage stuff like that should be out in the open. That's why PREMARRIAGE COUNSELING exists. My husband and I were talking about how we'd like our children raised and stuff of that nature before we even started dating (keep in mind we started dating KNOWING we were going to get married).

                             Hoping for BLUE


mz_erica03
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 3:39 PM

I would and I did. Granted, people change their minds but if I know for certain that being a mother is something I want to do and my SO is totally against it, then I would leave. If I stayed I would be miserable and unhappy.


Wifey2Watson
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 3:43 PM

My bil is doing this to his gf right now. He has a dd from a previous relationship and told her that he never wants another child. She's in her late 30's and finally snapped last week and told him that she has to go. She's not getting any younger and she wants to find someone she can have a family with before it's too late.

fcangel9
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 3:50 PM

By the sound of this guy, I wouldnt want my sister to have a kid with him.  she is only 21 and she will come to her senses... i dont think this is going to drive their marriage apart, i think she will eventually realize that he is garbage and she can do better.  I dont see it being forever with them.

1sonand3angels
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 3:52 PM


Quoting Wifey2Watson:

My bil is doing this to his gf right now. He has a dd from a previous relationship and told her that he never wants another child. She's in her late 30's and finally snapped last week and told him that she has to go. She's not getting any younger and she wants to find someone she can have a family with before it's too late.


Yeah see this is a perfect example! I just think it is sooo selfish to make a women not have children because you already have one. Damn it! I want some more nieces and nephews to love. lol

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