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How would u feel about it? There it was for the kids to see!

Posted by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 3:06 PM
  • 48 Replies

My son was in school, and made friends with this kid. So I became somewhat of a friend to the little boys mom. Our sons were both four at the time. Well a couple weeks ago our whole fam was invited over for a get together with their fam and one other fam. Thirty minutes after we were there my husband informs me of the huge stack of playboys sitting out in the bathroom all our kids had been using to change into there swimsuits, and stuff. I've never been in a house before with tons of sexual content out for children to have access to, so I wasn't exactly excited about it, considering my sons never been exposed to ne of that crap before. She has 3 boys, and I was kinda shocked about it. so how would u feel? What would u do? I haven't spoken to her since, although she's emailed me a couple times, I shut off my cell, cause she's kinda pushy, and I didn't want to get into a situation again where she'd ask me to do somethin. I just figured after that, we'll casually loose contact! I choose not to expose my little guy to all that.

by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 3:06 PM
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Replies (1-10):
My2J.A.P.s
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 3:10 PM

Maybe they just forgot to put them away.  Why not just mention it to her?  I'm sure she'd be fine with sticking them in a cupboard next time you're over.  Ignoring her is a pretty immature to handle things.


 

shantastic84
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 3:12 PM

I would just be up front.  I probably would have avoided calls/emails too, until the point she asked why.  Then I would say, "To be honest with you, I didn't know how to say it, but I saw the Playboys in your bathroom, right within my child's eyeshot, and was very upset, and shocked.  I didn't know how to react, because that's not something we permit or condone for our children."  Then see where the conversation goes.  She might be very apologetic and respectful of your pov, otherwise, she'll get defensive and stop talking to you...which wouldn't be the worst thing either.  But at least you were honest. (Might give her a little perspective into her own parenting as well. The ones who get the most defensive are the ones who know they're wrong.)

momoftwo0720
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 3:15 PM


Quoting My2J.A.P.s:

Maybe they just forgot to put them away.  Why not just mention it to her?  I'm sure she'd be fine with sticking them in a cupboard next time you're over.  Ignoring her is a pretty immature to handle things.


I somewhat agree, maybe they did forget but why are they there in the first place. My husband gets playboy and i am fine with that but he has to keep them put up from the kids. I just don't know what i would say to her though. Good luck!

Kaceywolfe
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 3:16 PM


Quoting My2J.A.P.s:

Maybe they just forgot to put them away.  Why not just mention it to her?  I'm sure she'd be fine with sticking them in a cupboard next time you're over.  Ignoring her is a pretty immature to handle things.


Well as an adult, sometimes we make situations easier on ourselves, by handling them the way we want, which is part of being an adult, havin that resposibity. I wouldn't call someone elses opinion immature, I think were all old enough to make our own decisions. Also her man couldn't keep his eyes off my chest the whole time we were there, and I figure maybe if he wasn't so busy lookin at his mags, he'd have had the decency to not disrespect me like that, but that's another issue I guess. lol So you think it's always the right way to be upfront with everything? Cause I see that not always as being the answer. It's one of those well that's not always the right way to handle it things, you know? Not fact

dosthepost
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 3:16 PM

Some families are just really open in the sex department. But ya know, it could've been worse. If my kid is going to come across porn I guess I'd rather it be Playboy, LMAO. It's a little... classier... than some others.

                             Hoping for BLUE


mikeyjavimami21
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 3:17 PM

You're willing to end a friendship with a family because of some playboy magazines? I mean c'mon, you could casually have mentioned it to her like "oh I think you forgot to put away the mags, so I just shoved them under the sink" or something like that. I think you are blowing it waaaayyyy out of proportion. A stack of playboys isn't "tons of sexual content out for children to have access to".

SouthALMommy
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 3:19 PM

I honestly would just have a discussion with her. Tell her that I didn't like that they were there for all the children to see. That it makes me uncomfortable and all that other jazz. That's how I feel it should be handled and how I would handle it if it was me in the situation.

I am a stay at home, breast feeding, kisses and hugs giving, chubby baby loving, happily married, co-sleeping, attachment parenting, anti-CIO, vaxing, disposable diaper using, PCOS having, baby wearing, sale item buying, in college mommy who believes in and trusts THE TRINITY (Father, Son, Holy Spirit).

Kaceywolfe
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 3:19 PM


Quoting mikeyjavimami21:

You're willing to end a friendship with a family because of some playboy magazines? I mean c'mon, you could casually have mentioned it to her like "oh I think you forgot to put away the mags, so I just shoved them under the sink" or something like that. I think you are blowing it waaaayyyy out of proportion. A stack of playboys isn't "tons of sexual content out for children to have access to".

well is playboy not sexual content? Really?! Cause there were at stack of about 30 of em! I have no problem with whoever owning them, but so my kid is not exposed to them. Time and place people. Time and place for everything. When there are kidos around, please hide your dirty habits.

jgirl04
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 3:21 PM

I think if you are invited over there again, and you do decide to hang out, check the bathroom as soon as you get there. Just say you need to go. Take the magazines and put them away somewhere in the bathroom until you're reasy to leave. That's if you feel uncomfortable saying something to her. Then casually use the bathroom again before you leave to take them back out. I doubt anyone would notice for that short amout of time. If it does come up that they're missing, then just come out and say your son is much too young to look through those types of magazines. They're kids, they will be nosey and look.

CafeMom Tickers
lilystar
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 3:21 PM

I wouldn't just ignore her for too long, that is rude on your part too. Just be honest. I would not want my children to see things like that. I'm pretty sure my man downloads porn sometimes but he does not have magazines or leave it on the computer because I will bitch about it. I do not really approve of porn at all, some will call me old-fashioned or a prude, but I know it is something adults get into and like other adult-used things (knives and other dangerous things like lighters) it should be put out of a childs sight and reach.

Just tell her you saw the porn out and that you are uncomfortable, you have your own views and opinions and if she does not respect that maybe you should not be friends with her. If it was an accident or if she will just put the crap away, maybe the freindship can be salvaged.

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