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Too many friends/activities - need help - or just over-thinking it all

Posted by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 11:30 PM
  • 4 Replies


My DD is  8 - almost 9 yrs old and just finishing 3rd grade.  She is in a lot of activities - which is fine money, school and time-wise and it is all her choice so I'm okay there with it.  But, each activity has a whole set of girls/friends that come with it.  Sometimes they overlap - but many times they do not.  Last year for her b-day we rented the church hall and had a DJ dance party - the price was reasonable for what we normally spend for a party and that way she could invite as many friends and family that we wanted to.  We have a large family that gathers often so that is a good thing - but in this situation perhaps not.  This year she wants a friend party with an after sleepover - we are thinking about 16 which includes 4 cousins and her.  And some friends usually don't come because they are on vacation since she has a summer b-day.  So, then were talking about one of her pretty good friend's bdays that is coming up and she tells me that she was not invited to the party because she can only invite so many and because they have not seen much of each other this year since they are not in each others class - which I'm sure this is what this girl told her.  And I know in my head this is true and the paren'ts are pretty out there.  But she was/is one of my DD's top 7 - she even just brought her home a present from vacation.  DD seems to be okay about it and we don't really have time this weekend or next for a b-day party - but it bothers me and got me wondering if she is too spread thin with her friends??  There are also these two girls that seem to be the "it" girls.  I know third grade seems young to have them - but they seem to be the ones that everyone wants to be around and know what they are doing all the time. I'm sure they were invited-and they are not in this girls class this year either.  I know she is young and many girls will come in and out of her life but I want her to have some long-lasting strong childhood friends.  Do these things work themselves out ? And, what age do they get in to "their group" of friends?

by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 11:30 PM
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by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 11:32 PM

I really think you're over thinking it.  I don't think kids really have lifelong friends anymore.  I would limit the other and every age group has the "it" kids. 

McKenzie, mommy to Bella 10/5/07

moms rockgirl giving flowercoffee

by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 11:33 PM


i am 23 yr old military wife mother of one ds and i have an 18 yr old adopted daughter. i am a non spanking, vaxing, non cio, erf, organic feeding , juice limiting, smokeing, dispossible diaper useing mom , who cant stand people telling me how to raise my ds. if you dont like what i do then dont do it with yours. i didnt marry you or have babys with you so  ill do it my way and you do it yours.

air forceteen girltoddler boy

by on Jun. 10, 2009 at 10:59 AM
My daughter is the same age as yours, so I know there are these things
that go on with the "girls group". However, I sort of have the opposite
problem: my daughter doesn't seem to have a lot of girlfriends, and I wish
she had more. I worry about this and talk with my friends and they
tell me something that may help you and that is that the friends they
have in elementary may not be their close friends, and they may not
have any close friends until middle or high school. So...I would stop
worrying about her establishing her close, lifelong friends now. And
besides, girls are so wishy washy and sometimes are mean to each other.
I know, it's not fun to watch.

by on Jun. 10, 2009 at 3:39 PM

Thanks all!!

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