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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Help 3 month old he always wants to be held

Posted by on Jul. 9, 2009 at 8:14 PM
  • 34 Replies

 I am breast feeding my 3 month old baby and it seems the only way he'll go to sleep is if I am holding him. I feel guilty to put him down. I dont know how to make him content without me always holding him. I am getting burnt out because I hold him most of the day and I co sleep with him on the couch because I am scared to co sleep with him in my bed. Please dont bash me but my arms are always getting sore because I am always holding him.

by on Jul. 9, 2009 at 8:14 PM
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Replies (1-10):
momaloveof3
by on Jul. 9, 2009 at 8:17 PM

Maybe he's cold?  Try swaddling him or dressing him a little warmer.

I am not bashing I had 3 and they did the same thing.  I pretty much held them until they were about 5 mon old.

Good Luck. 

katelyn123
by on Jul. 9, 2009 at 8:18 PM

my son was like that until he was 6 months. once he started being able to move he decided that was better than being held.. get ur snugles in now.. they shure dont like that when they get older lol

nessy1980
by on Jul. 9, 2009 at 8:20 PM

I feel like I am neglecting Julien if hes not being held.  

LeanneC
by on Jul. 9, 2009 at 8:22 PM

It's normal.  Babies like to be held, it's just how they are.  Get a sling to give your arms a rest... and STOP co-sleeping on the couch.  It's much, much less safe than your bed, I promise!  Couch sleeping is a major suffocation risk.  Co-sleeping in a bed with appropriate precautions taken is very safe.

It will pass, it's just how they are at this age...  Get that sling... or make one.  It will save you, I promise!


tanya_marieh
by on Jul. 9, 2009 at 8:24 PM

  Maybe you should buy a moby wrap so you can "hold" him with out your arms.  My DD loved that when she was little and you can BF hands free with it.  Here is a link to the website.

ariannasmom114
by on Jul. 9, 2009 at 8:43 PM

my dd was like that and then i found the swaddle blanket that thing saved my life cause i was also drained and tried or holding her all the time

MamaJen74
by on Jul. 9, 2009 at 8:43 PM

Wear him mama! It's completely normal for him to feel safest in your arms.  If you use a sling, wrap or some type of carrier, you can accomplish pretty much anything while "holding" him without using your hands!  I really don't know how I'd survive infancy without wearing my baby.  Here's a link with some great info.  http://www.wearyourbaby.com/Default.aspx?tabid=36

elle7777
by Member on Jul. 9, 2009 at 10:37 PM

Wear him in a sling when you want to get stuff done. Does he like the swing at all? Co sleeping in a bed is ok as long as you have tight fitting sheet, cover baby with baby blanket, and don't have pillows around him.

Regardless babies usually want to be held less when they can move.

MrsRStewart
by on Jul. 9, 2009 at 10:42 PM

He will do this until you put him down and let him cry it out.  Let him learn to self-sooth.  Do not let him get to the point of hysteria, obviously.  Once he is at that point, he will not calm down, but he needs to learn to be comfortable in his crib or on the floor or in the swing.  It is good for him and for you. 

The sling idea is fine as long as you are still giving him time to self sooth.  You should not be holding him all the time!  Babies need to be held, and they need to be cuddled.  They also need to sleep in their own beds.  Their mommies need rest. 


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Randi02
by Platinum Member on Jul. 9, 2009 at 10:43 PM


Quoting LeanneC:

It's normal.  Babies like to be held, it's just how they are.  Get a sling to give your arms a rest... and STOP co-sleeping on the couch.  It's much, much less safe than your bed, I promise!  Couch sleeping is a major suffocation risk.  Co-sleeping in a bed with appropriate precautions taken is very safe.

It will pass, it's just how they are at this age...  Get that sling... or make one.  It will save you, I promise!

I agree with this.

Co sleeping is extremely safe... in a bed. Couches are dangerous for co sleeping. A sling or wrap is awesome for breastfeeding and carrying your baby around during the day.  Babies need to be held close... It's just who they are. If you give in, you build their trust and they will be secure, independent toddlers. It feels a bit overwhelming now, but you will miss it when this cuddly baby is running around and doesn't have time for you.

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