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WOULD YOU FORGIVE HER? kinda long sry

Posted by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 12:10 PM
  • 28 Replies

ok so heres the deal... i havent spoken to my grandparents in a little over 2 years now... when kaidan was a baby (hes almost 3 now) he had an aweful spit up problem, well it was his 1st christmas and i took him my grandparents house and he spit up on my gmas rug... i cleaned it of course and didnt think much of it well the next day my gma called me and said i was never to bring him back to her house because she doesnt want any more of her rugs messd up (it wasnt messed up she was just being a bitch) and she was all kindsa pissed off cus she had to have her rug professionally cleaned and yada yada... well FF a little bit my hubby joined the army when kaidan was about 6 months old, while hubby was in basic training, my grandmother called me, talking all kindsa mad shit about him, how he was a good for nothing POS and she couldnt believe how he could just up and leave his wife and child living with my momma while he was off "playing soldier" and much much more but you get the point... well that pissed me off so i told her if thats how she felt then she just never needed to contact me again and hung up, she then proceded to crazy bitch call me and left at least 20 voice mails on my cell cussing me and telling me that the only reason she had a problem with my family (meaning my son and my husband) is because she didnt want that "wet back" to ruin my life and thats where it was headed, she even went as far as to call my beautiful son a "HALF BREED" WTF does that even mean?????? Of course when i heard all of this on VM i called her and ripped her a new one... and she told me I WAS BEING DISRESPECTFUL, me i was the one who was out of line... F that your not gonna trash my family and call my baby a half breed and get away with it, then tell me im disrepectful for tellin you your nothing but a bitch UGH... ok anyways, FF a little bit more, kaidans 1st birthday, we had his party in hallettsville, my daddy told me my grandparents were in sweet home, which from where we were holding the party i could have stood on a table and thrown a rock and hit where my gparents were at, less then a 3 min drive!!! anyways daddy asked me to be the bigger person set my differences aside and invite my gparents to the party, so i sent them an invite in the mail AND called and personally invited them, gma said NO she would not be attending a party where there would be half breeds and wetbacks... i said F you and hung up.... and that was the last time i spoke to her... well honestly i feel kinda bad, my grandpa has really dont nothing wrong, except stand by his wifes side in all of this, but he doesnt know what all was said he has no clue, she only tells him the parts that dont make her look bad and make me look like the bad person, so he doesnt understand why i wont talk to her.... I really would love for my grandpa to get to know kaidan ii would, grandpa loves him and doesnt understand why i wont bring the baby to see him but i refuse to let that bitch lay eyes on my son...

so my question is, would you try to put your differences aside and forgive her or even just pretend to forgive her, what would you do??? my daddy keeps begging me to just get over it and im not sure i can... but daddy has a point grandpa wont be around forever and is it right to keep him from knowing his great grandchild because his wife is a bitch??? idk what to do any advise will be greatly appreciated :)

by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 12:10 PM
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Replies (1-10):
jeweldog
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 12:19 PM

I had a grandmother like that.  She had tons of money and lorded it over everyone.  She loved to pit her own kids against each other  and other family members.  Anyone who didn't dance to her tune was out of the will.  Well I tried to be the bigger person and see her before she died of cancer 6 years ago and she was so nasty to me and told me that everything was going to Hospice and that I will get nothing.... I told her to take it to hell with her you old bitch and walked out.  In fact at her funeral (I did not attend) I heard the only people who showed up were those who wanted to make sure she was DEAD!   She got what she deserved.

Anyway, someone like that is POISON to you and your family.  She will stop at nothing to tear you apart and your family.  It is hard but I would not interact with her at all, if she wants to know you beautiful little one, than she can make the first move... YOU did nothing wrong here!  I think what your husband is doing is brave and wonderful and you are a great person to stand up to that nightmare to defend your family.  All the best to you!

Winter_Goddess
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 12:21 PM

Girl I think Your gma and mine were cut from the same cloth! My gma doesnt like my husband, thinks I mad a poor choice in him and doesnt think twice about letting me know just what her 2 cents are (as if I care at this point). Most of the time I just walk away or ignore her. I try to have as little to do with her as possible. For your grandpa, you could try and contact him and arrange a time to meet and talk? Even if it is only so he can see his grandbaby. If he doesnt understand whats going on or wants to, maybe you dont have to talk about her. Or if you know she has regular meetings with friends or golf or cards or something like that maybe you could plan to see him when shes gone? Its hard to forgive and I havent forgiven mine yet but Im working on it. But forget? yea.... porb never. Good luck! If you need to vent more Im open to listen, I understand what ur going through. :) Hang in there!

canthaveboys1
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 12:25 PM

YIKES!! She sounds like a real piece of work. "Half breeds" is a nasty term for mixed. I think you should let your grandpa see him. As far as grandma, She isnt a grandma she is a cold hearted bitch.  

kaidansmylife
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 12:30 PM

OMG im so glad im not the only one with a crazy gma lol she is actually my step gma but has been in my life since i was an infant, she is 20 yrs younger than my grandpa and according to EVERYONE she only married him because he had money... My daddy told me not to long ago that when me and my older bother were born my grandpa opend up college funds for us, opend em with 50k each and added 100 a month from the day we were born and with in a few months of being married to grandpa she had cleaned both the accounts out...  Shes an aweful woman, has been aweful to me ever since i can remember, but i dealt with it for grandpas sake, i think her trashing my hubby and son was just the last straw KWIM? I dont think i ever saw her with out her tellin me how fat and ugly i was and forceing me to exersize and run laps around the block... yes i was a bigger child, but crap arnt you supposed to love your children and grandchildren for who they are not who you want them to be??? I just dont know what to do, i love and miss my grandpa very much but i cant see him with out seeing her UGH!

Quoting jeweldog:

I had a grandmother like that.  She had tons of money and lorded it over everyone.  She loved to pit her own kids against each other  and other family members.  Anyone who didn't dance to her tune was out of the will.  Well I tried to be the bigger person and see her before she died of cancer 6 years ago and she was so nasty to me and told me that everything was going to Hospice and that I will get nothing.... I told her to take it to hell with her you old bitch and walked out.  In fact at her funeral (I did not attend) I heard the only people who showed up were those who wanted to make sure she was DEAD!   She got what she deserved.

Anyway, someone like that is POISON to you and your family.  She will stop at nothing to tear you apart and your family.  It is hard but I would not interact with her at all, if she wants to know you beautiful little one, than she can make the first move... YOU did nothing wrong here!  I think what your husband is doing is brave and wonderful and you are a great person to stand up to that nightmare to defend your family.  All the best to you!











kaidansmylife
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 12:34 PM

I have so many more stories bout this woman its not even funny, she was never EVER good to me, i was never good enough for her... when my daddy told her i was pregnant she told him that i was nothing but a slut and a whore and she would never have anything to do with my baby because she didnt believe in having children out side of marriage (SHE DOESNT EVEN HAVE KIDS!!!!!) daddy didnt tell me that until after i had kaidan and all of this mess started... but i feel worng for "punishing" grandpa for her being a nasty bitch... its not his fault but they are a packaged deal, you get 1 with the other, and theres no way in hell shed ever let him meet me with out her she rarely leaves his side as it is... the man cant even go put gas in the truck with out her right there with him

Quoting Winter_Goddess:

Girl I think Your gma and mine were cut from the same cloth! My gma doesnt like my husband, thinks I mad a poor choice in him and doesnt think twice about letting me know just what her 2 cents are (as if I care at this point). Most of the time I just walk away or ignore her. I try to have as little to do with her as possible. For your grandpa, you could try and contact him and arrange a time to meet and talk? Even if it is only so he can see his grandbaby. If he doesnt understand whats going on or wants to, maybe you dont have to talk about her. Or if you know she has regular meetings with friends or golf or cards or something like that maybe you could plan to see him when shes gone? Its hard to forgive and I havent forgiven mine yet but Im working on it. But forget? yea.... porb never. Good luck! If you need to vent more Im open to listen, I understand what ur going through. :) Hang in there!











kaidansmylife
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 12:36 PM

Yea shes lucky she wasnt sitting in front of me when she said it cus ida knocked her face crooked, shed have been looking sideways for the rest of her life!!! I would love to just let grandpa see him but id have to let her see him too and idk if im willing to even let her lay eyes on him let alone speak his name outloud

Quoting canthaveboys1:

YIKES!! She sounds like a real piece of work. "Half breeds" is a nasty term for mixed. I think you should let your grandpa see him. As far as grandma, She isnt a grandma she is a cold hearted bitch.  











swizzlefiz
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 12:40 PM

OMG, thats horrible!  I wouldn't be able to forgive her.  I'd see if I could get the grandpa to meet me at a park or mcdonalds w/o grandma knowing.

MedicMommyAnne
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 12:41 PM

Wow, I'm so sorry that your grandmother is such a truely horrible person.  I would NEVER EVER EVER let that woman see your child.  Maybe you can call up your Grandfather and invite him to lunch.  Just you, him , and your little man.  Have a heart to heart with him, let him know why you haven't been a part of his life the last couple of years and why his wife will never be a part of your life again.  Life is too short to have miserable people in it.

kaidansmylife
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 12:48 PM

It makes me very happy to know that im not wrong in not wanting her to ever lay eyes on my baby again, but im horrified to call my grandpa for fear that she will answer and i know just hearing her voice will set me off, and im not sure that i could control my mouth if i did... ive got a real problem with my ass overloading my mouth and its not good when your trying to accomlish a goal lol... i just wish it could be easier

Quoting MedicMommyAnne:

Wow, I'm so sorry that your grandmother is such a truely horrible person.  I would NEVER EVER EVER let that woman see your child.  Maybe you can call up your Grandfather and invite him to lunch.  Just you, him , and your little man.  Have a heart to heart with him, let him know why you haven't been a part of his life the last couple of years and why his wife will never be a part of your life again.  Life is too short to have miserable people in it.











Mad_Hexer
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 12:49 PM

I would say forgive her.. 

Carrying around this hate for your grandmother doesn't do you any good..  But just because you forgive her does not mean you have to be around her or even speak to her..  It means that you can let go of your anger towards her and be happy with your husband and your son..  Seriously, does you anger towards her help you at all?

As for your grandfather, I would speak to him personally..  You don't need to go through her to speak to him do you?  Personally, I would do my best to shield my son from her prejudice toward him..  If that means that you have to see your grandfather privately, well, then do that..

Good luck..

 

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