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Why did I... (kinda long) *EDIT in pink*

Posted by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 6:31 PM
  • 3 Replies

Why did I agree to couple's counseling?  It is scheduled for tomorrow but I am seriously regretting accepting to go.  But, as to not confuse anyone, here is a little back story.

I am sick and tired of my fiance.  I stay at home with the kids, two are his from a previous marriage, and our daughter.  Three days a week I go into his office and cover the phones while he goes to appointments.  I am also responsible for filing, and other various office work.  Not to mention while I am at the office for those 12 hours a week, I have the kids there as well.  The two boys have video games there, so they stay occupied while they are there.  my daughter however, does not.  As with any 1 year old, she needs attention, she needs me to fix her food for her, and she needs me to change her diaper for her.  If any of those three do not get accomplished, she will cry, making my job of answering the phones that much harder.  And then during the school year, I take the boys to school, go into the office, pick the boys up from school, help with homework, and fix dinner, not to mention taking care of baby.

Well, here is what makes me sooo mad!  He comes home from work, goes into our room, gets on the computer, and watches tv until it's time for dinner.  Then he comes out of the room, eats dinner, then goes into the living room to watch tv.  So, when he has a bad day at work, he comes home and takes it out on me.  He tells me that I don't help out with the kids, and I don't help out with the house, and I don't help out with the finances.  ARRRGGGG!  I'm sorry, the little money I do get each week normally goes towards our groceries.  Since he makes more $, he is responsible for the other bills.  We talked about this when I was pregnant, and he said he had no problem with that arrangement.  Now all of a sudden it is a problem?

So, I left.  I packed me and my daughter up, and we came to my moms house.  Two days after I left, he sent me a message asking if I would go to Couple's Counseling with him.  I agreed at the time because he would not leave me alone about it.  Now, it is scheduled for tomorrow and I don't want to go.  The main reason I don't want to go is because I don't want to give him the impression that everything is all better now.  I think I should make a list of all the complaints I have so I can read them at counseling.

 ~~~~EDIT~~~~

Well, we went to therapy, and it went great.  She talked to me alone for the first 45 minutes about what my view on the situation is.  She said that it is good that I am not living under the same roof, that it gives me time to evaluate the situation, and to go through "the cooling period."  We also committed to three months, maybe longer, of not making any big decisions such as getting back together, or breaking it off and going our seperate ways.  Our next session is this coming Monday.  I really can't wait to see how it goes.

by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 6:31 PM
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Replies (1-3):
princessmommy32
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 6:51 PM

I don't blame you! Sounds like you already know what you want to do and how you want to handle it. You sound very smart, so don't second guess yourself.

Amybelle
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 6:59 PM

 NOT going to counseling isn't going to make things better. Are you done with the relationship completely? If not I think going to couseling is the best chance you have to change your relatioship for the better.

kikibix
by Bronze Member on Jul. 28, 2009 at 7:18 PM

I have never ever understood why couples have seperate finances.  It seems to create so many problems with his bill and  her bills, seperate bank accounts etc.  If you work in the office you should be paid whatever the going rate is.  You both should be responsible for making decisions on how things will be paid for.  You both should be responsible for taking care of the kids and the house.  Really, since only 1 of those kids is yours I am amazed that he doesn't bend over backwards thanking you for taking care of them all.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do. 

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