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a little help please

Posted by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 6:33 PM
  • 7 Replies

My 10 year old stepson has been eating alot ever since we moved into his grandfather's house. When i say a lot I mean like He polished of 3/4 of a large pizza and half of the buffalo wings for dinner. Thats just for a meal. He will eat like that every 2 hours and he sees no problem with that. SO says that its not healthy for his son to eat like that but is not willing to do anything about it. I have also noticed that he has started on gaining lots of weight. Should I not let him eat like that or do i let him continue.


Also he also has a really bad attitude. He thinks that the world revolves around him and everyone should weight on him hand and foot. He thinks that whatever he wants he should be able to get it right then and there. He is soon to be 11 in 2 and a half months and still throws temper tantrums worse than my 20 month old niece. When he doesnt get what he wants, has to do something he doesnt want to, or if you tell him something he doesnt want to hear he will cry. For instance I gave him a little of half an hour of play time on the computer and when his time was up and I told him that he got up from the computer was stomping into the kitchen while crying and slamming the cabniets ? What can I do about that ? I understand that He has gone through a divorce but hey so did I and I'm doing fine. My SO's family on the other hand thinks that he deserves to be spoiled and waited on hand and foot. My SO has even called me mean and evil because i dont put up with SS bs. I cant put up with any of this anymore especially since I could go into preterm labor. 


Any advice given would be VERY MUCH appreciated !

by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 6:33 PM
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Replies (1-7):
3armycuties
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 6:49 PM

First off, I think you and SO need to have a serious discussion as to what you both think is appropriate behavior for your stepson. If you can't come to an agreement and both of you work on it, then you need to decide if this is a deal breaker for you or not. If you can tolerate, then just go with the flow. If not, then sorry hun but it may be time for you to move on.

CullenLover
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 7:03 PM

i would sit down with you're dh and talk to him and since he doesnt want to back you up on discipline than it's HIS  problem to deal with, i know it is going to be hard but you need to stand back and let you're dh see the problems and attitude otherwise he is just going to be like everyone else and cater to him,

goog87
by on Jul. 29, 2009 at 10:22 AM

Don't give in to SS's tantrums and tell SO that if you have to raise this kid, you're going to raise him right. About his eating habits - you can only control his eeating by controlling your own. If you don't want him to eat tons of pizza, don't buy pizza. You can't do anything about what OTHER PEOPLE feed him, you can only control what happens in your own home. Also, is there a reason behind a half hour of computer time? Did he have something else (like homework) that needed to be done? Or are you just looking to control the child? People don't like to be controlled. Do you spend more than a half hour ont he computer? I sure as hell do.

NiNio9
by on Jul. 30, 2009 at 4:18 PM

I am not trying to control him. we made an agreement that if i gave him half an hour then he would go on to do his chores without any complaining. As you see it didnt turn out that way. I still dont think thats its a good excuse for a 10 almost 11 year old boy to cry

kristyann
by on Jul. 30, 2009 at 4:32 PM


Quoting NiNio9:

I am not trying to control him. we made an agreement that if i gave him half an hour then he would go on to do his chores without any complaining. As you see it didnt turn out that way. I still dont think thats its a good excuse for a 10 almost 11 year old boy to cry

Okay, I have a 10 year old son. Ans yes he does cry when he does not get his way sometimes. I'm sorry but 10 is not all grown up. They may want to be, but they just aren't. But if you told him you get 30 min. and then you have to do your chores, then stick to your guns. He may through a fit but just tell him that is not going to get you out of your chores and then ignore his behavior until he does what he is supposed to do.  As for how much he eats, there are days when my son eats everything in sight. They are growing. But just try to remember everything in moderation. Find him healthy most of the time, but let him splurge every now and then.I make sure my kids eat at least one veg. and one fruit at every meal, but tonight we are having pizza and I can guaranteeyou my 10 year old will eat at least 4 to 5 pieces of pizza. And before people start bashing me- my 10 year old only weighs 60 pounds soaking wet, so no I am not letting my child be unhealthy. As far as the problem with your husband, you should sit down with him and explain how you feel, and then try to work out between the two of you how you are going to disapline your children.

NiNio9
by on Jul. 30, 2009 at 9:58 PM

thanks for all of your advice ladies. Its very much appreciated

ambiedick
by on Jul. 30, 2009 at 10:08 PM


Quoting goog87:

Don't give in to SS's tantrums and tell SO that if you have to raise this kid, you're going to raise him right. About his eating habits - you can only control his eeating by controlling your own. If you don't want him to eat tons of pizza, don't buy pizza. You can't do anything about what OTHER PEOPLE feed him, you can only control what happens in your own home. Also, is there a reason behind a half hour of computer time? Did he have something else (like homework) that needed to be done? Or are you just looking to control the child? People don't like to be controlled. Do you spend more than a half hour ont he computer? I sure as hell do.

I give my step daughter only 30 min on the computer. I dont see anything wrong with limiting their time... kids need limits and need to understand that there are other people in this house that might like to use the computer. I don't see it as control.

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