Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do you convince someone to get over you?

Posted by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 8:08 PM
  • 17 Replies

 

 I need advice on getting someone to move on with his life and stop holding on to me. A few years ago, my Dh and I went through a really bad time. We seperated for awhile, filed divorce and both began "seeing" other people. I began hanging out with a guy I used to go to HS with. Apparently, he really liked me back then and he claims he "fell in love" with me after the 3rd day of us talking. We spent alot of time together, dating if you would call it while I was getting over my husband. Dh and I took marriage counseling during this time as a condition to our divorce (our judge happened to be the judge who married us and wanted us to try everything before divorcing) Through the counseling, we reconciled and moved back in...picked up like nothing was ever wrong. We have been back together and going strong for over 2 yrs now.

However, this friend (Chris) can't/won't let go. I have another friend (female) who is on his myspace friends list and she tells me everything on his page is about me, how much he misses and loves me, his song is "waiting on a woman", etc. I had to set my page to private bc she said he pretty much was "spying" on me by keeping tabs on my pictures I added, my status updates and comments from friends. I haven't spoken to him in over 2 yrs and he knows (knew) every step I took it seemed. I had to change my email addy bc he kept sending emails that he would wait for me forever, wouldn't give up, blah blah blah.

Well, today this friend said that Chris has pics on his myspace about the sketch he is about to have tattooed down hos entire leg.....MY NAME. He is going to tattoo my name in big letters down his leg. WTF? I am MARRIED and was never in love with him, will never be with him, don't want him.....

I don't know what to do to make him understand he is fighting a losing battle here and tattooing my name on his leg is ridiculous. What happens in five yrs if he moves on finally and meets a great girl? How is he going to explain that the girl tattooed on his leg was a married chic he couldn't get over?? I know it is HIS body and he can tattoo whatever he wants....but it's CREEPY!!

03-school.pngsoccer-mommy-colorful.gif

by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 8:08 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
BabyJae
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 8:17 PM

I dont think their is anything that you can really do to make someone to get over you. They have to do that themselves. I wouldnt have any type of contact with him at all whatsoever. I am going through something similar but its with my daughters dad. He has stalked me, and still does sometimes we have been broken up for over 2 years also.He rides pass our house to see what we r doing and calls my job. I dont call this man or anything only time we come into contact is at the police station to pick up our daughter. A mess but some people just dont get it

NavyWifey122305
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 8:19 PM

Really the only thing you can do is have no contact with him. If he chooses to not get over you thats his own fault.

MissiHampt
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 8:20 PM

Only time I had to MAKE someone get over me, the restraining order worked pretty well....

but that just might be a little extreme in your case, as he's not doing anything harmful.....just annoying.

 


 

Loved4Sure
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 8:20 PM

IMO it isn't YOUR responsibility to convince him of anything.

In fact, if he is an unstable as you make him out to be, contacting him in anyway, even to tell him it's over, may convince him you still 'really' care.

You're right, it sounds creepy!


            

ZachNHannahsMom
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 8:31 PM

It's just so weird....tattooing my name on his leg after all this time?? I don't know anyone in this town with my name/spelling so people we know will know it's MY name there. I have no contact with him, and haven't since I got back with Dh. At one point I thought he was going to be literally stalking me bc I put on my Myspace status that I was excited to get a job at a certain place (yes I made the mistake of putting the name) and he was standing at my truck one day when I left work. He handed me a sketch of a tattoo he did that symbolized "us" to him and tried to talk to me. I just got in and left. A few weeks later he posted a pic of that tattoo he had dones on his arm. It makes me uncomfortable to know he's out there inking his body about me and there's NO chance of anything ever happening.

03-school.pngsoccer-mommy-colorful.gif

tinakenny
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 8:46 PM
He hasn't stopped all this after 2yrs I doubt he will give up anytime soon. Get a restraining order but do something. People like that will continue and end up doing something bad.
MrsRStewart
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 8:49 PM

Have no contact with him at all.  None.  Maybe a restarining order; I don't know.  I haven't had to deal with anything like this. 


a wedding website

ZachNHannahsMom
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 8:52 PM

A restraining order based on what though? 

03-school.pngsoccer-mommy-colorful.gif

Seven07
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 9:08 PM

Continue to have no contact whatsoever with him.  Ask your friend to remove him from her friends list as well as anyone else who may be a mutual friend or remove them from yours.  Your friend, if she's a good friend can tell him nicely that you are happy in your marriage and he'd be better off accepting that.  Then cut off contact as well.  If he knows where you live, just be aware of your surroundings and keep your doors locked.  Otherwise, don't keep tabs on him either.

Wifey2Watson
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 9:16 PM

I went on maybe 3 dates with a guy a long time ago before I found out that he was lying about being married with kids. I immediately dumped him and cut all contact. That was about 5 years ago and the guy is still crazy for me! Before I met my dh, this guy would find my phone number and call me all of the time. He'd say that he loved me and wanted me to be his queen etc. He was a scary guy, very muscular and he had martial arts training. Sometimes he'd bring up the fact that he had gloves with lead in the knuckles in his car, weird shit you know? Anyways, he tried to call after my dh moved in and he was told to never contact me again. I changed my e-mail, phone number, I moved, he can't get to my MySpace...nothing. It's the guys fault if they're all nuts. I mean, my dude said that he was going to kill himself and all I could do was call the cops. It's not your fault that they are disturbed, just never contact him again and try to move on. 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)