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Is there a double standard?

Posted by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 1:50 PM
  • 6 Replies

I'm not sure if I know how to explain this..........hmmmm. Well, sometimes I feel like my family is treated diffrent by grandparents than my sil's family. These are my in laws, I am very close to them, even now that my husband and I are apart (do to his own actions). I have no parents of my own to rely on because both my parents passed away at fairly young ages.


My dd's are 5 and 2. And I am constantly told how they need to work with them. They think my 2 yr old should not run around and get into things and I should be teaching her that. Like I don't, but she is 2.  And they have never done anything to make sure the house is one bit childproof like they did with sil kids. Her youngest is now 7. I feel like I'm always told how I can improve my children, they are active and do little things like not pick up a piece of trash when you ask (stuborn I guess). Mostly she does what is asked...she has moods. For the most part I feel they are good kids with good morals and respect and talk to people with respect.

My sil kids are annoying, they are disrespectful and argue with everyone. Yes, they are older, but she is not contantly told that she needs to change. Her son when 2 would run after her crying for hours on end to be picked up. nothing ever said to her. My kids are expected to be like adults....they cry in time out a Grandma's they sit longer. My kids tell me "no"...you better watch her. I think they are judging my children based on their father's action. He is hyper active and has had many behavior problems, ones which he still is working out. Why are they judged this way when sil kids are disrespectful and tell everyone "no" and argue.

Am I just over reacting? Why am I supposed to be super mom and it is okay for sil who stays home since oldest was a baby is a kinda lazy mom or at least does not want to deal with it anymore?

by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 1:50 PM
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Replies (1-6):
peepszaya
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 2:01 PM

 Because he has had those problems they very well could be thinking that your children may have these problems also. My kids father had drug problems, mental problems and for the longest time when my son was little(about 1) when he would get real wound up the comments would be made that he takes after his father or that i'm going to have to be harder on him because of his father and it is in his genes to act like that. It sucks but people do believe this stuff.

Mamamanic
by Gold Member on Aug. 12, 2009 at 2:31 PM

That is the stuff I am talking about. Isn't his sister from the same genes, then why is she treated different. She has had a silver spoon compared to my life. Why am I judged more harsh? Is it that In relaity I am not their dd. How do I bring these things up with them?

Mamamanic
by Gold Member on Aug. 12, 2009 at 9:05 PM

Should I just be like.."Hey my kid are going to be there own person"..the next time they bring it up?

Armymom134
by Bronze Member on Aug. 12, 2009 at 9:16 PM

 Ultimatly they are your children and you can raise them how ever you want. Maybe you should tell your In-laws that you appreciate everything they do for you and your kids but you are their mother and you will decide what is in the best interest of your children. Sometimes you have to be blunt with people who act this way. You don't have to put up with their comments if you don't want to. If you are respectful of them then they should be respectful to you also. Just put your foot down when they say things to you.

Mamamanic
by Gold Member on Aug. 12, 2009 at 9:38 PM

I guess I'm a wuss

Aamy
by Gold Member on Aug. 12, 2009 at 9:46 PM

Well your in laws ARE now a few years older. Maybe they just dont have the patience they used to. I know i have seen it with my dad with my DD. He loves her to death but sometimes he gets irritated at her being 3, and i have to remind him of that.  GL hun !






 


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