Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I'm very upset and I would just like to know if i'm overreacting..

Posted by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 4:10 PM
  • 24 Replies

 My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. I have an almost two year old daughter. We don't live together. We hardly get to spend time together because we're both very busy. We usually go out once a month or so on a saturday if my mom can watch the baby. Well tomorrow is my birthday and all last week i kept hinting to him that i would like to go out this saturday and i let him know that my mom will watch the baby. Then on monday, i remembered that he was invited to a wedding of one of this girl that he's not even close to. I brought it up to him and he was like "yah, i'll have to check when it is." Well, the wedding is this saturday. We we were talking about it for a minute or two and he mentioned that he was just going to have his friend matt or paul go with him. I was like "what? you've got to be kidding me.." He was like "no, i asked you 2 months ago if you wanted to go and you said no." I really, honestly don't know what he's talking about. I hardly get to see him, why would i tell him i didnt want to go? It wasnt brought up until today when my mother emailed me and asked me if we're going to this wedding or not. she wanted to know if she was watching Liv. I texted my boyfriend asking him and he was like "no youre not going" I said well then who are you taking? he said "idk." I asked him if he was serious and he said " yes. I'm having a bad day, just stop, i'll talk to you later."I got really upset. I called him on my lunch and asked him what his problem is. He said he's having a bad day and i'm not making it any better.. he said asked his friend paul two months ago to go with him because (apparently) i said i didnt want to go. He also said that he wants to go out saturday without getting pissed off.. apparently i piss him off all the time. He was screaming at me, while he was at work. He's a mechanic so there were people around. I'm really hurt by the way he treats/talks to me. I cant just end the relationship with him just like that.. i feel like i invested too much into it and i really do love him. I just can't handle being treated like this. I told him i cant stand when he treats me like this and he said "well, then do something about it."

What would you do? I honestly feel like not even answering his phone calls until he realizes he owes me an apology.. but unfortunately, i'm afraid i can't actually stick to that plan, and i'll end up answering the phone. We've gotten into stupid arguments before and he always tells me "i don't worry because i know you'll always end up calling me" Do you think that's right what he did with the whole wedding thing?

by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 4:10 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Gabeys_Mommy
by Bronze Member on Aug. 12, 2009 at 4:14 PM

I'm taking a few stabs in the dark, but is it possible that he's going with somebody else- possibly a female?

He seems very defensive about it. =/

livsmama1003
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 4:16 PM

i thought about that for a split second.. but i can't imagine who that would be.

Quoting Gabeys_Mommy:

I'm taking a few stabs in the dark, but is it possible that he's going with somebody else- possibly a female?

He seems very defensive about it. =/


Osstie
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 4:17 PM

It sounds to me like he wants to break up but he doesn't want to make the first move. He wants you to end it. I'm sorry :( breaking up sucks. hugs!

rebelrose13
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 4:17 PM

Sorry, no advice other than I wouldn't put up with a man yelling at me for no reason. Here's a bump for ya.

DELIA26
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 4:18 PM

FIRST OF ALL IF YALL HAVE BEEN TOGETHER THAT LONG SHOULDNT YALL HAVE SOMETHING PLANNED FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? APPARENTLY HE DOESNT CARE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS. WHY IS HE BEING SO RUDE ABOUT YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT THE WEDDING??YOU THINK HE WOULD WANT TO TAKE A FEMALE INSTEAD OF ONE OF HIS MALE FRIENDS...IDK IT JUST SEEMS STRANGE.

reelo
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 4:19 PM

He's telling you he is done with your relationship and isn't taking it very seriously.  I would seriously be rethinking the whole fiance/ BF thing.  He isn't ready to grow up and being in a relationship yet, his attitude has nothing to do with you and more about his unwillingness to grow up and act like a reasonable adult in a relationship (and it sounds like he didn't innocently ask another guy friend but who knows).

I mean, If I mentioned to my hubby that we had a baby sitter for an after noon even if he couldn't get off work he'd drag me with him just to have some us time.  He would have blown off the wedding or the 'guy date' without a second thought.

 

   

Tilted_halo
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 4:19 PM

Well whether he asked you to go to that wedding or not, I'd let him take his friend and not worry about it.   I'd drop the subject altogether.  What's the point of rehashing it?  I think it's crappy of him to ask his friend to go to a wedding of a girl that he hardly knows, personally.  But since he asked his friend to go and he's going, then I'd leave it at that.  If he's telling you to do something about it when you say you don't like how he treats you, then do something about it.  Stick to your guns.  He says that b/c he thinks you won't do anything about it. 

I agree with what a couple of the other replies said too....I think he's not taking your relationship very seriously and is expecting you to end it, doesn't sound like he's much of a grown up.  (Been there, done that honey...you're better off without him)


Tilted_halo angel mini

livsmama1003
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 4:20 PM

i agree. I took him to a nice restaraunt for his birthday in May. I don't get it. I don't know where I went wrong. I'm just so upset right now..

Quoting DELIA26:

FIRST OF ALL IF YALL HAVE BEEN TOGETHER THAT LONG SHOULDNT YALL HAVE SOMETHING PLANNED FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? APPARENTLY HE DOESNT CARE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS. WHY IS HE BEING SO RUDE ABOUT YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT THE WEDDING??YOU THINK HE WOULD WANT TO TAKE A FEMALE INSTEAD OF ONE OF HIS MALE FRIENDS...IDK IT JUST SEEMS STRANGE.


Amybelle
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 4:21 PM

 I think you both owe each other apologies. You because he told you he was having a bad day & to leave him alone and you didn't and him for blowing it out of proportion & yelling at you.

livsmama1003
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 4:23 PM

i would agree with you, but he has a "bad day" everyday. not even kidding. he's miserable usually everyday because he hates his job.

Quoting Amybelle:

 I think you both owe each other apologies. You because he told you he was having a bad day & to leave him alone and you didn't and him for blowing it out of proportion & yelling at you.


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)