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"Pick my battles" -- am I being too lenient?

Posted by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 9:40 PM
  • 9 Replies

My son is 2 and my husband and I disagree over little things that go on with him.  For example, I let him bring 1 book to bed with him each night. We will read 2-3 books before bed and then he takes one into his crib with him.  He looks at his book and eventually falls asleep.  My husband thinks this is rediculous and that he should not be allowed to bring toys to bed.  I also let my son have his pacifier from time to time when he is emo and needs it.  This is also something that my husband finds rediculous (pacifiers are for bed time only).  I say that I am "picking my battles".  Are these unreasonable?  Should I be more strict with my 2 year old?


ps... I do not know all the abbreviations for things like son, husband, etc SO, sorry for not using them...

Lara
Mom of Seth

Happily working from home --join me!
www.workathomeunited.com/larap

by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 9:40 PM
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Replies (1-9):
squidsmommy
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 9:45 PM

I don't think it's bad to bring a book to bed and I think a pacifier at any time (bed or awake) at 2 years is going to cause issues when you want to get rid of it. When it boils right down to it, though, it doesn't matter what anyone on here says, you should sit down with your husband, talk about it and compromise. After all, he's both of your's son, you two are raising him, you two have to live together and raise children cohesively. Discuss why your husband thinks certain things are bad and why you think they're ok. Try to see where the other one is coming from and pick your battles a little better with your husband so there's not resentment.

Mamamanic
by Gold Member on Aug. 12, 2009 at 9:47 PM

Sounds like the two of you need to agree. All kids are whinny, I'm not a big pacifier person.. Only believe in them for newborns, not as a comfort. I try not let my kiddos get attached to thing, they get lost and I have a meltdown on my hands.

UpNorthMom218
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 9:50 PM

I see your point.  I just find it to be silly things that we disagree over... like who cares if he brings a book to bed!  His only reasoning is that he should not be bringing toys to bed.  The pacifier thing gets me frustrated... maybe I should put up another post on how to get rid of them!! Thanks for your insight.

Quoting squidsmommy:

I don't think it's bad to bring a book to bed and I think a pacifier at any time (bed or awake) at 2 years is going to cause issues when you want to get rid of it. When it boils right down to it, though, it doesn't matter what anyone on here says, you should sit down with your husband, talk about it and compromise. After all, he's both of your's son, you two are raising him, you two have to live together and raise children cohesively. Discuss why your husband thinks certain things are bad and why you think they're ok. Try to see where the other one is coming from and pick your battles a little better with your husband so there's not resentment.


Lara
Mom of Seth

Happily working from home --join me!
www.workathomeunited.com/larap

Gabeys_Mommy
by Bronze Member on Aug. 12, 2009 at 9:50 PM


Quoting UpNorthMom218:

My son is 2 and my husband and I disagree over little things that go on with him.  For example, I let him bring 1 book to bed with him each night. We will read 2-3 books before bed and then he takes one into his crib with him.  He looks at his book and eventually falls asleep.  My husband thinks this is rediculous and that he should not be allowed to bring toys to bed.  I also let my son have his pacifier from time to time when he is emo and needs it.  This is also something that my husband finds rediculous (pacifiers are for bed time only).  I say that I am "picking my battles".  Are these unreasonable?  Should I be more strict with my 2 year old?


ps... I do not know all the abbreviations for things like son, husband, etc SO, sorry for not using them...

Hehe. That made me giggle. My son does the same with his books and his binky. He's 20 months and while I know he shouldn't have a binky at this age, as long as it's for nap/bedtime I'm okay.

hurleydoll18
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 9:52 PM

I think you both need to sit down and talk about things.  I let my almost 2 yr old bring a book to bed as well when he wants to and he gets a bink for bed time and nap time only.  As he gets older, I will allow him to take one reasonable toy to bed with him if he wants to.  My aunt did it with her children and it worked out great.  As long as Caleb is laying in bed quite, I don't really care what he is doing because I know he'll eventually fall asleep...lol.  I pick my battles as well.  My hubby has a hard time telling the difference between what warrants a time out and other discipline things that we do.  For little things, he'll send him to time out when all he really needs is to be redirected and told No firmly.  We need to talk about these things as well because I pick my battles and he seems to have a hard time doing that. 

Randi02
by Platinum Member on Aug. 12, 2009 at 9:52 PM

I don't think a 2 year old needs a pacifier unless they have special needs, but that's just my opinion. I think it's important that both parents agree on issues like this, if not I would make HIM deal with that part of bedtime and see how he feels.

As for the books, both of my kids (32 months and 16 months) have books in their beds. They also have a stuffed animal (or 5 LOL) a water cup and a favorite toy. It keeps them occupied when they wake and they are happy talking to themselves (or me over the monitor) when I go in there to get them up. It takes my son a while to fall asleep some days, so after we read together he looks at a book by himself until he falls asleep.

I am a Canadian,breastfeeding (it IS best, there is nothing even close to that nutrition and bond), co sleeping, extended rear facing (if you don't rear face to the maximum of your seat, you're NOT doing all you can to protect your child), baby wearing, Non spanking (I want my kids to respect me, not fear me) ANTI- CIO, homemade baby food making, cloth diapering, organic (chemical free household!) recycling mama to TWO! My husband is my equal and best friend, not my master and I believe basic health care should be a human RIGHT, not a privilege.

                                             

mom-2-4boys
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 10:10 PM

 I don't see anything wrong with let a two year old bring a book and pacifier to bed. I don't agree with most on the pacifier thing. Mine had them and by the age of three we started to take them away. By 18 months the pacifier was only for nap or bed time. As the boys started to fall a sleep at night without we just packed them away. The other out look on pacifiers is I have never heard of anyone walking down the isle with a pacifier in there mouth. Enjoy them while they are little they grow way to fast. My little man is now 17 and a senior in high school and surprize the pacifier is no longer attached to his shirt like in all his baby pictures.

tisami1
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 10:10 PM

Does it bother him as a parent that his child is doing these things? Or does it bother him that you are making the decisions without him? That is what I would be asking. You seem to think they are not big deals but to your DH they are. And if they are truly not big deals to you, then could you compromise on say one of them? 

truely914
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 10:12 PM

  At the end of the day does it really matter.  My 23 mo brings about 3 books 5 stuff animals into bed with him. My daughter who is 4 yrs. brings so many things into bed with her ....I don't know how she is going to fit in the bed.  They both like to have their things around them.  The fall sleep better this way.   Now for the pacifier.  I can't help you with it because my children didn't like it.  I have an idea compromise get rid of the pacifier and let him keep his book.  It is probably about time he lets go of the pacifier. Let go of the pacifier and you get have the book in bed.   God I 'm so smart.    To bad it isn't just that easy huh? 

   Best wishes !

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