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My mom comes over every day! UPDATE

Posted by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 11:59 PM
  • 29 Replies

My mom comes over almost every day from maybe dinner time till 11-12 when the baby goes to bed. I am an only child so this her first and only grandchild. She always wants to see the baby and it is starting to drive me crazy. I feel bad because she lives alone but she works 2 jobs so its not like she is home alone all day. I have tried to talk to her about it but she just gets upset and gets defensive. I feel like sometimes it interferes with my marriage.  don't know what to do anymore...I don't want to hurt her feelings but coming over day is getting to be a bit too much.

 

I guess I should add some things: First of all I am sorry to the people that can't see their moms more or have lost their mothers. I do love my mom and I am happy that she wants to spend time with her granddaughter. It's just sometimes every day is a bit much. My DH works all day so when he comes over that is when he is getting home so I rarely spend time with just my family without my mom there ( I also have 2 SD's that live with us). My friend stopped coming over because my mom was always here when she would come over. The one time my friend was here doing something on my computer downstairs and me DH and the baby were on the couch when my mom came over....we all said hi but there wasn't any room for her to sit so she went upstairs. About half an hour later she flipped out because no one got up so she could sit down so she stormed out. Lately she says stuff about me not giving the baby a bath every day like I was a bad mom and that her hurt my feelings. She expects to be fed dinner when she is here...we are already feeding 5 people on one pay check. Part of me finds it hard to get close to her because my father was an alcoholic when i was growing up and he verbally abused me really bad and even when she could leave him she didn't until i already left the house. Sometimes i mad at her for keeping me in that situation. I just feel like I need time for me to be with my family without my mom being right there. I hope that doesn't make me seem selfish.

Lilypie
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 11:59 PM
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Replies (1-10):
nikkiJ86
by on Aug. 13, 2009 at 12:11 AM

I wish my mom was alive so she could come over everyday.I know that it may seem like a problem,but sometimes you have to just count your blessings and deal with it.I hope I didn't sound rude,I wasn't trying to be.

Tayy26
by on Aug. 13, 2009 at 12:15 AM

I wish I could see my mom everyday!! Sorry I'm prob no help lol

truely914
by on Aug. 13, 2009 at 12:22 AM

  I know it's hard becuase you know her heart is in the right place.  I would just tell her you and husband would like some alone time with the baby.  keep telling her.

   Best wishes

truely914
by on Aug. 13, 2009 at 12:24 AM

    I would not want my mom to come over everyday.  She can call.    How would everyone feel if it was her husband's mother that  came over everyday.   Give this poster a break.  She just wants alone time.

miss_kali
by on Aug. 13, 2009 at 12:25 AM

I would kind of have to agree. My mom is not dead but she has MS. I wish she could come over everyday!! I can't even visit in the summer because the heat is just too much for and causes her to go blind.
But if you feel she is over stepping her boundaries you need to explain that to her in the most kindest way.

Quoting nikkiJ86:

I wish my mom was alive so she could come over everyday.I know that it may seem like a problem,but sometimes you have to just count your blessings and deal with it.I hope I didn't sound rude,I wasn't trying to be.


ashleykilleen
by on Aug. 13, 2009 at 12:26 AM

when my mom does shit like that i just give her "the look" and she knows he is over stepping. Good luck i know its annoying but she will stop...hopefully lol

-ash

CafeMom Tickers

~Look how far my Little Man has Come~

~*Ashley*~

*Loving Wifey To Chris*

~Wonderful Mommy To Sheamus~

beadingmom17
by Silver Member on Aug. 13, 2009 at 12:35 AM

I know it's hard to tell someone whose heart is in the right place to not do something, but I would tell her like it is.  Just tell her that you're super happy she's so excited about your baby but that you and your husband need your alone time with baby and with each other after she goes to bed and it's making it hard on you to get that when she comes over everyday.  Maybe she could bring it down to every other?  I hope she's understanding!  Sometimes people just don't realize until you say something that they're "intruding" on you. 

SamMom912
by Silver Member on Aug. 13, 2009 at 7:46 AM

My DS has no grandma either- so I would LOVE it if someone would shower him with  love and attention and come over... consider yourself lucky... that ebing said, tell your mom you love her, you LOVE she is so interested in baby and when she comes over go out to dinner with your hubby!  Leave g'ma with baby... pick 2/3 nights a week when your mom knows she cant visit .... tell her you and hubby and baby have other plans... that you're THRILLED to have her in your life and count your blessings...and enjoy time with hubby and baby, and time alone with hubby...

by the way, I am so incredible jealous as I am typing this, I could spit! :) Best wishes and happiness...

 

rkoloms
by on Aug. 13, 2009 at 8:30 AM

Try setting a schedule with her. "Mom, we love seeing you, and know that you love spending time with Baby, but Hubby and I would like some time, too. What if you come over every Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday?"

Robin in Chicago

darkeyedmom
by on Aug. 13, 2009 at 8:35 AM

I hear where you're coming from, but there are a lot of mom's out there without their mom's and Grandmothers for their kids.

Quoting nikkiJ86:

I wish my mom was alive so she could come over everyday.I know that it may seem like a problem,but sometimes you have to just count your blessings and deal with it.I hope I didn't sound rude,I wasn't trying to be.


Free to be me-Robin

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