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Anyone else have in-law problems? Help Please!

Posted by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 10:29 AM
  • 3 Replies

Now, I love my husband as well as my in-laws, but I am so tired of them boring money, and the sad part about it is that my husband doesn't even tell me he loans them money until after he has already done it.  I can't talk to him about it because what I am going to say "I am tired of you giving your family our money that we are trying to save and may need for our own children".  I'm not sure he will take it the right way.  The thing is that it is really affecting our marriage now, because he not only gives them money that we are trying to save, but he doesn't even tell me or ask how I feel about it.  Sometimes I wonder if we would even still be together if if were not for our children.  I do not know if I can really take this for the rest of my life.  I am prenant, have a two year old, work, go to school, and come home and do all the cooking and cleaning, should I get a break or if I can do it then why can't other people that I will not name get up and work.  I am trying not to let this affect my marriage, but when I think about it, it is affecting us and this stress is not good for my pregnancy. 

I was going to end there, but for everyone to understand they may need to full story!  Now, my mother in-law had my son when she was 13, but she had made the best out of it, now, she is still not 40 years old yet and she will have 7 grandkid by the end of this year.  My husband and I have one with another on the way, the sister next in line just had her third child the other day, she is married and she doesn't work, (not sure about her husband, who is only the father of the third child).  They constantly get help to pay bills from my mother-in-law because she does not want them moving back in with her, they have been out of her house for a couple of months now (with the middle sister). The middle sister does not have any children.  Now the youngest sister is 17 and she is due any day now to have a baby, and she had never worked and my mother-in-law has been the only one buying anything for the baby. Lastly, the youngest son who is 14 had a baby back in May.  Now, with my mother-in-law taking care of everyone elses kid she is always needing to borrow money; now, no one has ever done anything for my child and probaby the same to come for my daughter when she arrives. 


Now, all of these people that do not work, but they can lay down and get pregnant, its not fair that we are basically left to foot the bill for them, because when everyone get behind they come to my husband because they know he will not say no.  I am so tired of this and do not know how to even bring it to my husband.  What should I do?

Yevora, Over whelmed!its a girl

by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 10:29 AM
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Replies (1-3):
squidsmommy
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 10:39 AM

I'm sorry, but these people need to stop having children! I would seriously sit down with your husband and gently tell him how you feel. Bringing up things about inlaws can be a touchy subject, but they need to learn to be responsible on their own. Your husband can't support all those people and his family, too. Maybe come up with some sort of compromise. Figure out your expenses, what you'll have left over after things get paid, put some aside for your children and then split the rest. If he wants to blow his bit on his family, let him. Then you at least know that bills are paid, there's a stash for your children and you have a little extra to do what you wish with.

connormom85
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 10:46 AM

I totaly agree if they can not support the kids they do not need to have any.

Yevora
by on Aug. 26, 2009 at 9:56 AM

That's not  a bad idea, but I am not sure he would even want to listen once I start talking.  That is a problem of ours.  He will hear me, but not really listen because he doesn't agree.  I will give it a try for the sake of resolving the problem.  The one other thing is, what if he says something to his family?  I mean I really do not care if they like me or not, but we have to deal with each other because of my kids and my husband. 

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