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leaving my husband. any single moms out there? young moms?

Posted by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 10:46 PM
  • 24 Replies

hey. i left my husband 3 days ago. he is acting like its no big deal. i think he doesnt believe me. i have had enough. he made me quit my job so he could work more hours and i would be a SAHM. then he wanted me to quit school. im 22 years old and im not about to give up my whole life. he makes me pay for things tho i have no job. he gives me no allowance. we have no joint account. he throws it in my face if i beg for $$. i cant take it a anymore. i wont be an uneducated, unemployed single mom. i left. but it hurts so bad. he says he is going to talk to the union lawyer tomorrow. he doesnt even want t talk, just rush into getting lawyers involved. im at my moms now, but i dont know what im going to do. this sucks so bad. any advice, encouragement, ideas, hints, anything would be appreciated. thanks.

Im a CIO, Spanking when necessary, Full-time student, Part-time working, Animal Loving, Former-Co-sleeping now Im a firm believer in cribs, Common Law wife to a Police officer, Vaccinating, Let her have her binky, Glitz loving Mom to the most beautiful red headed pageant princess yeah...im THAT mom!!
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 10:46 PM
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Replies (1-10):
CMcLaws
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 10:54 PM

I totally understand, hun. I was in the other boat when I got divorced. I wanted to be a SAHM and my husband wouldn't let me quit my job. He said if I could come up with enough money to show him we didn't need my income, I could quit. When I proved (saving money by not buying junk we didn't need) we could live without my income, he went back on his word.

I was allowed $5 a day for lunch, and that was it. If I went over, I got yelled at. I never got an allowence, or new stuff, but he constantly came home with stuff he wanted all the time.

I didn't have access to the money, and had to beg for it all too.

I am happily remarried to a wonderful man. Good luck sweetie, I think you're doing the right thing!!

Peytonsmom6308
by Bronze Member on Aug. 25, 2009 at 10:59 PM

My ExSO just decided to not want me any more 2 weeks before our wedding like its nothing.no emotion no nothing from him. i know what your going through. I work like 20hrs a week and he wants me out of his house.... i dont know what to tell you except that their should be a support group for this stuff

SimplyPeggy
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 11:04 PM

all i can say:

sounds like my story..exactly! no money for food...treating my son badly..the list goes on :-(

i start my job monday, and will be moving into a new place as soon as the current tenants move out..

you are on the right path. you know what is best for you and your child(ren)..don't let him intimidate you...be strong, and just think of how peaceful and nice things will be once you are all alone...and no more begging!!

that is what i am looking forward to: peace and quiet!!!!

and the rest will work out...

i'm subjected to his emothional abuse as i am typing this!! gosh, he is awful!


ZombieBroad
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 11:20 PM

but what about the kids? we never PLAN to raise out LO frm a broken home :( and what about child support, visitation, fighting, what if he starts dating? all these things go thru my mind. i'd love for it all to be cordial and we just be the best of friends but i dont see it going that way so far. hes already thrown my moms house key at her while she was holding my daughter. im scared that its going to get very ugly. :( and i still definitely love him asa person, tho im not in love with him. i dont want him out of my life, just out of my house. does that make sense?

Quoting SimplyPeggy:

all i can say:

sounds like my story..exactly! no money for food...treating my son badly..the list goes on :-(

i start my job monday, and will be moving into a new place as soon as the current tenants move out..

you are on the right path. you know what is best for you and your child(ren)..don't let him intimidate you...be strong, and just think of how peaceful and nice things will be once you are all alone...and no more begging!!

that is what i am looking forward to: peace and quiet!!!!

and the rest will work out...

i'm subjected to his emothional abuse as i am typing this!! gosh, he is awful!

 


Im a CIO, Spanking when necessary, Full-time student, Part-time working, Animal Loving, Former-Co-sleeping now Im a firm believer in cribs, Common Law wife to a Police officer, Vaccinating, Let her have her binky, Glitz loving Mom to the most beautiful red headed pageant princess yeah...im THAT mom!!
Mom4Fish
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 11:29 PM

Im not a single mom, but i am a young mom and i do feel the same about some of your issues. Im a Stay at home mom who works 3 hours a week at a church and with my small amount i get every month i have to buy anything i need or need or want for the kids. Its hard and when i ask for money i have to answer question after question of why i need it and not just once but repeatly until i get the money then its well i got you this. Im here if you want to talk

Mom4fish~Monica

bigmomma469
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 11:32 PM

i was in a ten year  relationship just like it. i always heard how i did nothing while he was out busting his butt. i was only allowed to spend money on the bills and food nothing more. i got me a fountain soda one day and was asked if it came out of the food money.. i finally left and it had been 3 months and it has been womderful. but it has been hard also. it gets lonely sometiimes. but hang in there and let    him   wonder what  he had after the fact, stick to your guns and dont back down, get everything you deserve and more .......

SimplyPeggy
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 11:59 PM

the kids??? your kids will be happy when you are happy!!!!

i was a single mom with my two oldest for nearly 9 years..and yes..money was tight..but we laughed, and had fun!!!

i thought i had finally met the man of my dreams when i met "j"...and now he has not turned into a nightmare...my kids and i never laugh anymore!

you cannot imagine my heartbreak..i am so distraught...my mother is worried about me..literally losing it,having a break down....it's very hard for me to have to accept that this is over...

but girl..i'd much rather be alone and struggle BUT find some sort of happiness and laughter again - with and for my kids!!

(obviously there is a whole lot to this story,...i'm not going to go into details..TMI..and too looong of a story)

Quoting ZombieBroad:

but what about the kids? we never PLAN to raise out LO frm a broken home :( and what about child support, visitation, fighting, what if he starts dating? all these things go thru my mind. i'd love for it all to be cordial and we just be the best of friends but i dont see it going that way so far. hes already thrown my moms house key at her while she was holding my daughter. im scared that its going to get very ugly. :( and i still definitely love him asa person, tho im not in love with him. i dont want him out of my life, just out of my house. does that make sense?

Quoting SimplyPeggy:

all i can say:

sounds like my story..exactly! no money for food...treating my son badly..the list goes on :-(

i start my job monday, and will be moving into a new place as soon as the current tenants move out..

you are on the right path. you know what is best for you and your child(ren)..don't let him intimidate you...be strong, and just think of how peaceful and nice things will be once you are all alone...and no more begging!!

that is what i am looking forward to: peace and quiet!!!!

and the rest will work out...

i'm subjected to his emothional abuse as i am typing this!! gosh, he is awful!




courtney252
by on Aug. 26, 2009 at 12:04 AM

i am a 17 year old mom.I got pregnant at 16.i dont understand guys my boyfriend is controlling i guess we dont date anymore.he said we wont stay together unless u delete your myspace.u can add me as a friend if u want to.my name is courtney.

mommy_jen
by on Aug. 26, 2009 at 12:06 AM

i left my son's dad recently too. i know there are a million things going through your mind right now, but try to take things one day at a time and focus on one issue at a time. i know how hard it is...but from the sound of it, i think youare making the right decision for yourself. be strong and know that things will get better. PM me if you ever need some support!

SimplyPeggy
by on Aug. 26, 2009 at 12:10 AM

isn't it sad??? why do men turn out like this?? i will beat my son to death if he ever treats a woman like that!!!!

anyhow..i had to high light  what you wrote below, because a few days ago i looked at him and said:

"memorize this moment"..

he said" what?"

me:" memorize this moment"

he was so perplex..and asked why he should memorize it..i explained:

"because THIS is the moment that you wiil rememeber and regret for the rest of your life! one day, you will look back and realize what an amazing woman you had in me, and you're going to wish you hadn't done what you did. you will sit in this big empty house, all alone and miss me and the kids.you will want me back,sooner than you think. and i will tell you *too little too late*as i said..memorize this moment"


Quoting bigmomma469:

i was in a ten year  relationship just like it. i always heard how i did nothing while he was out busting his butt. i was only allowed to spend money on the bills and food nothing more. i got me a fountain soda one day and was asked if it came out of the food money.. i finally left and it had been 3 months and it has been womderful. but it has been hard also. it gets lonely sometiimes. but hang in there and let    him   wonder what  he had after the fact, stick to your guns and dont back down, get everything you deserve and more .......


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