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Honest Opinion with my past Breastfeeding Situation

Posted by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 9:43 AM
  • 23 Replies

I just read that post that got like 350+ responses regarding breastfeeding  and formula feeding..... I want your HONEST opinion of my situation that I had with my son who is now almost a year...

I breastfed from day one. Great Latcher!!! I had the breast feeding nurse on speedial at home. it was the most painful, stressful time of my life...

Within a few days, I had the baby blues....

10 days PP, I hadnt eaten, slept more than 3 hours in one shot and had dropped 40lbs. My son was still gaining weight, but the stress it had on me was immense. My hormones were all over the map. I didnt want to do ANYTHING, including take care of my son, but I kept breastfeeding. I got past the pain, but the mental toll it was taking on my while having the hormonal imbalance was somehting I couldnt bare. Then I went to a therapist who said I had PPD and that I should stop BF to give my self a break. I didnt want to shower or anythign... I stopped BF, but still wasnt eating... then got shoved into a psych ward (by wrongful diagnosis of PPD and released the next day. It was just a bad case of the Blues)..... after 11 days my hormones were coming back to normal, but I had just started to get my appetite back... I was seriously shrinking. I didnt go back to breastfeeding. Not because it hurt (i got past that), not becuase I didnt care about my child, but because, at that time, i felt it was the only way to get my mind back to being healthy. I felt as if I had been put through the ringer and my sense of self was lost.

 

Granted with my next child, I know it will be different, but I want your opinions on what you felt you would have or I shoud have done.

mommy
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 9:43 AM
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Replies (1-10):
AM-BRAT
by Amber on Aug. 28, 2009 at 9:48 AM

I thought BF was supposed to help with PPD. I'm just surprised. Seems like you just thought it was BF that was bringing you down.

But, hey, you quit, got help. What does it matter now? Why would you want our opinions? Or is this just another way to show how people can live without BF'ing? And possibly scare some new mom into thinking that if they BF they will lose 40 lbs and get depressed? You asked.

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Destiny1403
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 9:50 AM

Yes... Damn... You nailed it.   BTW...I did not have PPD, wrongfully diagnosed. Wish I breastfed longer. But I would never wish to scare anyone. My situation was a rare and difficult one. Im sorry if anyone reads this and feels that I am trying to scare them. I just see a lot of women saying that we (women who stop breastfeeding) are selfish. I just want to know if this would be considered selfish in another woman's eyes. Sorry for the confusion.

Quoting AM-BRAT:

I thought BF was supposed to help with PPD. I'm just surprised. Seems like you just thought it was BF that was bringing you down.

But, hey, you quit, got help. What does it matter now? Why would you want our opinions? Or is this just another way to show how people can live without BF'ing? And possibly scare some new mom into thinking that if they BF they will lose 40 lbs and get depressed? You asked.


mommy
ainsworth3
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 9:56 AM

 I would have stopped also. Just note you are the mother to your child and you know what is best. Don't let anyone on here tell you otherwise!

AM-BRAT
by Amber on Aug. 28, 2009 at 9:59 AM

I guess I wouldn't say selfish, just SEVERLY misinformed.

I understand. I FF my first, I thought it was just what you were supposed to do. I did BF for 3 mo, but then switched. For no other reason than I thought it was 'normal'.

People think the info is everywhere, and that it's shoved down your throat, but it wasn't mine.

I didn't know how important it was, truly, until CM. I BF this babe until just over age 1.

It's just one of those things where, through sharing personal experiences, things get misconstrued, and can end up looking like a 'labor horror story' and completely diverts someone from even trying.

Quoting Destiny1403:

Yes... Damn... You nailed it.   BTW...I did not have PPD, wrongfully diagnosed. Wish I breastfed longer. But I would never wish to scare anyone. My situation was a rare and difficult one. Im sorry if anyone reads this and feels that I am trying to scare them. I just see a lot of women saying that we (women who stop breastfeeding) are selfish. I just want to know if this would be considered selfish in another woman's eyes. Sorry for the confusion.

Quoting AM-BRAT:

I thought BF was supposed to help with PPD. I'm just surprised. Seems like you just thought it was BF that was bringing you down.

But, hey, you quit, got help. What does it matter now? Why would you want our opinions? Or is this just another way to show how people can live without BF'ing? And possibly scare some new mom into thinking that if they BF they will lose 40 lbs and get depressed? You asked.

 


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clairewait
by Bronze Member on Aug. 28, 2009 at 10:01 AM

Wrongful diagnosis of PPD??  I have PPD right now, and had it with my first child as well, and it sounds like that is exactly what was going on with you as well.  I am still breastfeeding and taking medication, and I feel great now.

Do you feel guilty about not breastfeeding?  I'm sorry, but the whole TREND that is going on right  now with breastfeeding, and the LLL's guilt-tripping moms into believing that they are less than for NOT breastfeeding drives me NUTS.  My mother did not breastfeed any of her four children, and we all turned out smart, healthy, beautiful, and socially above average.  :)

Do what you need to do.

Claire Wait

Making money with my morning coffee: http://clairebeautiful.blogspot.com;
Send me a message if you have any questions.
Total so far: $166.20

Husband: John since 8/28/05
Daughters: Eliott  2/8/07; Carter  7/7/09

3ISLOUD
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 10:01 AM

First, kudos to you for putting yourself out there at the risk of harsh judgement because you want to evaluate what you did. 


Secondly, you did what was best for you. Live in the comfort that what you did was beneficial for you and your child. Others might have chosen differently, but what does that matter? Given a second chance to re-do, what would that matter? You are at a place where you are flourishing and so is your child. Please take comfort in that.


Lastly, having been raised in a 3rd world country, exclusively breastfed, with generations of women who only breastfed, I can tell you that views of formula in my old country are much different than it is in Western countries.  Formula is viewed as good for the baby, full of good vitamins, added nutrition, and much-needed nutrients lacking in the mother's diet.  We were often supplemented with formula to make up for the inadequacies in mother's milk. The comfort of nursing is wonderful, but I don't view breastfeeding as critical to the infant's/child's development as LLL.  It's one wonderful component in their developement, but if you don't or cannot breastfeed, it's not harmful to your child. 


I wish you sound health in your recovery. 

Mom of 3 little kids who are as different as can be. I DON'T DO the Mommy Wars: I am pro-women, pro-mom - even if I disagree with you.  If you've asked a question and solicited others' opinions, I give you kudos! That is STRENGTH.  This much I know when it comes to parenting: all mothers want to do the best for their children.  And one size DOES NOT fit all: not shirts or parenting styles.  And I own http://whilebabynaps.com.  Find out just what I do!


Destiny1403
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 10:06 AM

I was wrongfully diagnosed. I had severe Baby blues as PPD cannot be formally diagnosed until something like 2 weeks to a month PP. I was told by a Psych that I was misdiagnosed by my therapist who sent me to the psych ward. That is where I met the dr the next morning adn she sent me home to be with my son. I was never a danger to anyone, just horribly depressed and hormonal. I wish I had breastfed longer. I just felt so overwhelmed. I new everything about BF and had been to the classes. So maybe it is that I feel guilty.... I just want to know if I should.

Quoting clairewait:

Wrongful diagnosis of PPD??  I have PPD right now, and had it with my first child as well, and it sounds like that is exactly what was going on with you as well.  I am still breastfeeding and taking medication, and I feel great now.

Do you feel guilty about not breastfeeding?  I'm sorry, but the whole TREND that is going on right  now with breastfeeding, and the LLL's guilt-tripping moms into believing that they are less than for NOT breastfeeding drives me NUTS.  My mother did not breastfeed any of her four children, and we all turned out smart, healthy, beautiful, and socially above average.  :)

Do what you need to do.


mommy
AM-BRAT
by Amber on Aug. 28, 2009 at 10:09 AM

SO BF is a trend? Everyone who says that, KILLS me. *HEL-LOOOO* BF is how the human race contiued on the way it did. IT's how babies are fed.

If anything is a trend, I would think it's formula. (yeah it's been around for a while) Like, 'hey a newfangled way to feed your baby'. Woo what fun.

It started out for babies whose mothers died or whatever else, it was a desperate measure. Not for fun, or people who "didn't feel like BF".

BF is not a fad or a trend.

Quoting clairewait:

Wrongful diagnosis of PPD??  I have PPD right now, and had it with my first child as well, and it sounds like that is exactly what was going on with you as well.  I am still breastfeeding and taking medication, and I feel great now.

Do you feel guilty about not breastfeeding?  I'm sorry, but the whole TREND that is going on right  now with breastfeeding, and the LLL's guilt-tripping moms into believing that they are less than for NOT breastfeeding drives me NUTS.  My mother did not breastfeed any of her four children, and we all turned out smart, healthy, beautiful, and socially above average.  :)

Do what you need to do.


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squidsmommy
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 10:10 AM

I have learned through life that you should NEVER feel guilty for the choices made when you had the best intentions. People do the best they can with what they have to work with. If you hold onto guilt, it will only harm you and in turn your children.

It's like asking if I should feel guilty for all of a sudden not making milk and not knowing it for 6 weeks. Should I feel guilty for starving my child and not knowing it? Shouldn't I have been more intune to my body and my baby's needs? If people think I should feel guilty and that I should have done more, I know they're wrong. I did the best I could with what I had to work with. And boy wasn't it nice to hand my SO a bottle and I could walk away.

Destiny1403
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 10:11 AM

Thank you ladies for all of your responses. I think my goal here was to show some women that there may be certain situations when stopping the breast is the best for mother and baby, even though the mother still feel guilty about it. Everyone's situation is different. I was 100% pushing on the breastfeeding issue. Cracked nipples did not stop me, it was my body and mind shutting down that stopped me. But next time I am putting in just as much, if not more effort to do it longer.

mommy
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