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Why We Should Wait to Have Sex

Posted by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 5:59 PM
  • 26 Replies

God has been pressing this message on my heart. This is something that I have gone through personally, and I finally understand why God wants us to wait to have sex. He wants us to wait so that we have a can have a chance at knowing true friendship, true romance, true understanding of one another, true devotion, true loyalty, true compassion,  and true love. He does not want us to inherit the pain and destruction that sex before marriage causes. When we get involved with someone God wants us to go through certain staged so we can find out the true meaning of love, He doesn’t want us to jump into a relationship and then jump right into sex because it is hard to go backwards through these stages. Its hard to retrace your  steps, love was not supposed to happen that way and we wonder why our relationships don’t work out and why we get our heart broken every other weekend but we let it happen to ourselves. We let this damaging pattern destroy our lives.
One day me and my fiancé were visiting another church and this man walked up to us and said to him “stop defiling her bed” and then looked at me and said “stop defiling his bed” he said this out of not where. I was shocked and a little offended at first but that’s when God showed me what I needed to do to get my relationship to the next level with Him. At first my fiancé was frustrated that I made this decision without consulting him but he understands why now. Even though we have been together for four years,  we knew about God, and we were good people most of the time, for some reason bad things kept happening with our relationship, our lives at that fact kept happening. This is all too clear to me now but I would sit there and wonder why certain things would happen to us, I would never see ungodly people go though these things, and this is why, I knew god and was still doing ungodly things I was giving Richie a part of me that I was not supposed to let him have yet, doing this I gave the devil a doorway to reek havoc on every area of my life.  Sex isn’t bad but its is something that needs to be treated with respect, not everyone you date or don’t date deserves to have that part of you. That is supposed to be for your husband/wife the man/ woman that god has placed in your life, the man/woman that will treat that part of you with respect and cherish it.  Just letting anyone have that part of you  is emotionally robbing your self, hurting yourself, and damaging to your soul, getting that self respect back is so hard. Said by my best friend. Prov 6:32 but whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks heart and understanding; he who does it is destroying his own life. Sex before marriage bring thing into our lives we were never supposed to experience. Sex comes with so much baggage it is not even funny. Emotional Problems: felling guilted into having sex or so badly needing affection you think you need to sleep with someone to get the affection you need. Pregnancy: you were never supposed to be in each others lives now you are stuck for at least the next 18 years. Now dealing with a number of issues that comes with parenting; staying together and fighting over everything or being apart and dealing with child support and halftime parents. Possibility of one parent bailing and then having to raise a child on your own, not to mention the effect it will have on your child. Some of you may think about abortion, you cannot even begin to understand the effect that can have on a woman. STD’s: yeah sure most of these STD’s are treatable but what if you do not find out in time and you become sterile and are not able to have children? AIDS and Herpes: this is something that you will deal with for the rest of your lives, something you wont be able to runaway from. What if you find the one for you and they don’t want you because you have these things? Or what if you want children? There is a chance you may not spread this to your baby but are you willing to risk that on your child’s life? 
Sex is a gift you are supposed to give to your husband or wife on you wedding night, and when you have sex before marriage look at the effects sex can have on your life. I’m with “the one” and still I only wish we would have waited. I wish we would have took the time to get to know each other so that we would have loved the right way, so that we don’t have to take the hard road backward in out relationship, so that we don’t have to work so hard getting true friendship, true romance, true understanding of one another, true devotion, true loyalty, true compassion,  and true love that should have been there form the beginning. Just because you have had sex before doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it. I re-gave myself to the lord, I am refraining from sex until I am married with the man God made for me and it has brought nothing but blessing from God, I am on a new level with God that I have never known before. It is amazingly beautiful. Like my best friend says with a new level you get a new devil. When you achieve a goal like this do not be so blinded that you thing the devil will leave you alone, he will step his game up but you will be aware and have the tools to defeat him. God Bless and thanks for reading. Leave your own testimonies!!!!! I would love to hear them 

by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 5:59 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 6:01 PM

Good for you that you made this choice and it makes you happy. That's all that matters.

by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 6:04 PM



by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 6:05 PM

Well im loving the sex that me and my SO are having without being married but good for u mama!

by on Aug. 29, 2009 at 1:21 AM

Thank you all for reading and not bashing!!!! i just want the ones who still have a chance to realize the difference waiting can make on you, your relationship with God, and your marriage and let the one who have already had sex know  just because you have had sex before doesnt mean you have to keep having sex!!! thank you so much and God Bless

by Gold Member on Aug. 29, 2009 at 2:01 AM

What about arranged marriages. I think your talking about American marriage.

by on Aug. 29, 2009 at 2:44 AM

There are more countries/continents that don't do arranged marriages :)  anyway the countries that do have arranged marriages believe in waiting until marriage also.  Have you ever heard of a marriage bed?  Well of course you have.  But in other cultures they have a bed in a cabin with a white sheet, when the couple gets married they go in there to do their thing.  they then have to show the community, or in some cultures just a priest, the white sheet.  if there is blood then it has been proven the woman was a virgin and the marriage is considered sanctified.  If there is no blood then it is believed she was not a virgin and the marriage can be called off.  Even worse in some cultures the woman could be put to death if they don't believe she was a virgin.  Sorry, your comment made me think about all that, lol.  I shouldn't be answering posts at one in the morning... very dangerous for me... lol


By the way OP. I think it's way awsome you made the desisions you did.  Even now that me and my hubby are married, one of the things that helps us is going back to the root of our relationship... our friendship.  Then we rebuild, using God and our friendship as a foundation and we get stronger every time!

Quoting Mamamanic:

What about arranged marriages. I think your talking about American marriage.

by Gold Member on Aug. 29, 2009 at 3:54 AM

I just said that because I think waiting was set up more to protect women. So they would have a husband and person commited  to them. In reality many marriges start as strangers. They build relationships as they go along, but because of their beliefs they are commited to support and shelture there wife. My other thoughts are that you should not have another to judge your partner by. I can tell you had a spiritual moment and I am glad you are connecting. Make sure you write it in a journal or something.

by on Aug. 29, 2009 at 4:00 AM

I love what you wrote and I totally agree. Thanks for sharing!!!!!!

Vote for me, and send me to New York!!!

by on Aug. 29, 2009 at 4:18 AM

wow you all are awesome.. again thanks for all the input 

by on Aug. 29, 2009 at 9:20 AM

 You are totally on target. Yes, Sex can be fun outside of marriage but there is consequences. The Lord gave us this wonderful gift to share with our spouse and that is where it belongs.  I have been on both sides of the fence. I was NOT a "good girl" when I was a teen. I slept around some and I was hurt terribly because of it.  Then I began to serve the Lord. I found a wonderful man whom I married ,but we did mess up and sleep together before the wedding, and always wished we had waited. We raised our family to serve the Lord and wait until marriage to give themselves to their spouse. I lost that husband to cancer years ago and remarried a man who had also lost his spouse to cancer.  We did not kiss until our wedding day :)  Granted we only knew each other for 7 days (in person) but it still was so special to go to our wedding bed with no guilt!   

You did an awesome job at explaining your thoughts here :)

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