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How the heck do i......

Posted by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 9:42 PM
  • 11 Replies

get my husband to help out around the house and with my dd. i feel like i am going to snap if something does not change. i am the one who always changes diaper ( he maybe does 2 or 3 a week) i get her drinks and food, i pick up her toys, vaccum the house, do the dishes, pretty much clean up in gerenal. bottom line is i feel like i am getting no help at all, and it is wearing me out. he did just have surgery just over 2 weeks ago for a hernia ( so its not like helping means lifting heavy things which i would not want him to do anyways yet) and he is fine now, i mean fine enough to have "relations". I have talked to him about it allllll the time. i say when you are better i am going to need you to please help me out more around here and with our dd. and he always says yeah ok... but nothing. and his answer is always the same when i ask him why he didnt do something he says well you didnt ask me.... i should not have to... if her toys are making a mess clean it up... if you see she needs a diaper change, change her!!!! i mean i dont have anyone telling me to clean or cook or anything i just do it, why cant it be the same way... i just dont know how to get through to him so he will finally make an effort to help me!!! sorry this turned into a bit of a rant but im stressed and tired and need some help... thanks

by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 9:42 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mhoeller
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 9:43 PM

when you find out let me know!!

sararsara
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 10:09 PM

I would stop cooking for him and turn it around on him. My dh has a sense of humor (most of the time) and I don't know if yours does, so it might backfire. Other than that make a list of things you want him to do every day to help you and keep it on the fridge, sometimes they just don't think about it.

Quoting Kiki7808:

get my husband to help out around the house and with my dd. i feel like i am going to snap if something does not change. i am the one who always changes diaper ( he maybe does 2 or 3 a week) i get her drinks and food, i pick up her toys, vaccum the house, do the dishes, pretty much clean up in gerenal. bottom line is i feel like i am getting no help at all, and it is wearing me out. he did just have surgery just over 2 weeks ago for a hernia ( so its not like helping means lifting heavy things which i would not want him to do anyways yet) and he is fine now, i mean fine enough to have "relations". I have talked to him about it allllll the time. i say when you are better i am going to need you to please help me out more around here and with our dd. and he always says yeah ok... but nothing. and his answer is always the same when i ask him why he didnt do something he says well you didnt ask me.... i should not have to... if her toys are making a mess clean it up... if you see she needs a diaper change, change her!!!! i mean i dont have anyone telling me to clean or cook or anything i just do it, why cant it be the same way... i just dont know how to get through to him so he will finally make an effort to help me!!! sorry this turned into a bit of a rant but im stressed and tired and need some help... thanks



jennylynne2003
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 10:12 PM

if he wants to act like a child you treat him like a child. you tell him what to do and if he doesnt move right then and there you tell him NOW, I said NOW. I had to do this to my hb the first couple years of marriage until he finally got it. even today though i have to tell him you want to act like a baby ill treat your sorry ass like a baby. then i tell him im sorry your momma wasnt a real mother but im sure as hell one yiou think your gonna pull this crap around my house you got another thing comming pal. and since he is now your son he doesnt get sex until he grows up and becomes a man. i also dont do my hb laundry that is his problem and if he makes me mad i dont make him supper. My hb and i have an understanding ( well i told him lol) when he comes home he has the kids i had them all day and i am a full time student. he wanted the kids just as much as i did so he is going to take care of them just as much as i do. if he doesnt like it he can leave and i will take half his pay for child support and allimoney and move in a hot young stud to do the job he cant.

sararsara
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 10:47 PM

Yowzers momma, you are kidding, right? LOL

Quoting jennylynne2003:

if he wants to act like a child you treat him like a child. you tell him what to do and if he doesnt move right then and there you tell him NOW, I said NOW. I had to do this to my hb the first couple years of marriage until he finally got it. even today though i have to tell him you want to act like a baby ill treat your sorry ass like a baby. then i tell him im sorry your momma wasnt a real mother but im sure as hell one yiou think your gonna pull this crap around my house you got another thing comming pal. and since he is now your son he doesnt get sex until he grows up and becomes a man. i also dont do my hb laundry that is his problem and if he makes me mad i dont make him supper. My hb and i have an understanding ( well i told him lol) when he comes home he has the kids i had them all day and i am a full time student. he wanted the kids just as much as i did so he is going to take care of them just as much as i do. if he doesnt like it he can leave and i will take half his pay for child support and allimoney and move in a hot young stud to do the job he cant.



ginger813
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 10:53 PM

 With men, you usually have to specifically tell them what you expect them to do. I don't know why, that's just how it seems to be. So if you have to, make a list. It worked for me!

othermom
by Gold Member on Aug. 29, 2009 at 9:49 AM

I make specific requests. Like I ask him to do the dishes, or to do soemthign else, and eventually it gets done. My kids are old enough to clean up after themselves, it just takes a little reminding and he is unable to do that most of the time. Heck yesterday my daughter asked him for a drink of water while I was in the shower, when I got out he STILL had not gotten it for her.

jayden_smama
by on Aug. 29, 2009 at 11:43 PM

I would love to know this too my son is 4 now, and has been potty trained for a year, but my husband NEVER changed one diaper the whole time he was in diapers! and he doesn't think that  he should have to do any house work since he has a job. lol

CafeMom Tickers

runner31
by on Aug. 30, 2009 at 8:56 AM

AMEN!

Quoting jennylynne2003:

if he wants to act like a child you treat him like a child. you tell him what to do and if he doesnt move right then and there you tell him NOW, I said NOW. I had to do this to my hb the first couple years of marriage until he finally got it. even today though i have to tell him you want to act like a baby ill treat your sorry ass like a baby. then i tell him im sorry your momma wasnt a real mother but im sure as hell one yiou think your gonna pull this crap around my house you got another thing comming pal. and since he is now your son he doesnt get sex until he grows up and becomes a man. i also dont do my hb laundry that is his problem and if he makes me mad i dont make him supper. My hb and i have an understanding ( well i told him lol) when he comes home he has the kids i had them all day and i am a full time student. he wanted the kids just as much as i did so he is going to take care of them just as much as i do. if he doesnt like it he can leave and i will take half his pay for child support and allimoney and move in a hot young stud to do the job he cant.


lucky2Beeme
by Platinum Member on Aug. 30, 2009 at 9:29 AM

I taught my huhsband thru asking. explaining that I can't do it all and most helpful I left notes.I would leave list of things I would olike him to accomplish.He loved having the list.Now he knows what needs to be done but that took years of lists to get to this point.

maof2sweeties
by on Aug. 30, 2009 at 9:34 AM


Quoting mhoeller:

when you find out let me know!!


ME TOO!!!

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