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Heartbroken :-( Advice please

Posted by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 9:16 AM
  • 2 Replies

I KNOW THIS IS PROBABLY JUST A PHASE...what I want is for other mothers to tell me if they've been through this and when it goes away!?!

Recently my Mom has been spending more time at my house, some nights she even stays in the spare bedroom, for personal reasons, but anywho, she has been spending much more time with my DD. Lately when im holding her, if my mother walks in the room, my DD will literally push me away and scramble to get to her, she'll even cry if my mom walks out of the room...she USED to do that to me...call it jealously, i guess thats what it is but sorry, its just how I feel. My mother even eats it up and laughs about it and says you want/love your granny and just keeps at it, shes even the type of person that will go to my sister or someone else and say my DD loves her over me just because of that. My DH says its ok and that its normal, and that he feels the same way when she prefers me over him, but that hes used to it...that doesnt help me.

Well last night after having a little crying spout over this, I decided to just take the evening and do NOTHING but play and spend time with my daughter, and even with my mother not there, she just seems uninterested in me or any type of affection towards me. She doesn't laugh at anything I do...maybe im just trying to hard. She doesnt spend every waking hour with me, i work now and leave her with a sitter, which leads to now.....

This morning I dropped her off at her sitter and every day she usually cries when I leave or comes running towards me, its been months and all of a sudden after everything ive been thinking this weekend, I hand her to the sitter to go and get her bags, she doesnt cry and when i come back in to take her and give her a hug and kiss goodbye, she turned towards her sitter as to reject me....nothing in the household has changed, i shower her with love and excitement whenever I can...today i just have so many thoughts running through my mind, like the jealously, quitting my job, telling my mother to go away and never come back...i know im overreacting and im just being a jealous mother, but i dont know how to make this feeling go away. I want her to love other people, but i want her to want me more than anyone else in the world...not just when shes hungry or sick....the love just seems to have disappeared all the while i love her more than anything in the world!

by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 9:16 AM
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Replies (1-2):
MY2KIDS131
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 9:45 AM

i know it is frustrating,    my 7 yr old was the same way but toward daddy, she goes to daddy, all the time.  im like ok  i can deal but  even wen she gets hurt  she runs to daddy.  i think it is just a phase

      Those Crazy Women!: 

ChazznRoccosmom
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 9:55 AM

Oh Honey, I've been there. I remember those feelings and it sucked! I remember dropping my kids at my husbands grandma's house. They could care less when I left, or when I came back. They'd reach for her, get excited for her, everything. I can't tell you how many days I balled over this. This was when they were just babies. But now that years have passed, I can look back and see that yes, she played an important role in their life back then. They spent more waking time with her than me. Not to mention being with her meant something new, a new place, new ways to play. I'm still their mama and I know now they never stopped loving me as their mom. They just found her entertaining, and they loved her too. But NO ONE can replace mom.

You'll always be number one, and your daughter wouldn't know what to do if one day you didn't come back to get her. She's just now learning that when momma goes, or she stops to play with someone else, you'll still come back. You're just being taken for granted ;) that's all. That's what kids do. (((((((HUGS))))))) 

      Mom             Dad         Chazz (7y)   Rocco (4y)    Joey (11m)

Breastfeeding, baby wearing, natural birthing, anti-abortion, SAHM who still loves her  tattoos, piercings, makeup and hairdye.

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