Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

upset about mil's bad etiquette

Posted by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 12:02 PM
  • 10 Replies

last week mil called and said she would be here in 2 days ! i said no way, we have soo much to do and i just started a new job and  we had pre-made plans, well she got all huffy and mad. and i told her it is RUDE to call someone and give them less than 24 hrs notice you would be showing up, and she kept changing the days she was coming over, so with me working and our pre-made plans we've been busy and exhausted,well she told dh she was coming over yesterday well i had a meeting in the morning and working in the afternoon/night, and we told her if she came over while we had the sitter she wont be allowed in. end of story, well she just called and told us she will be here in an hr ! im exhausted from work and cant go back to sleep, we just had to clean up from last night's bbq ( which i was @ work for majority of it ) and now we're waiting on her oh yeah and she called again and wanted us to feed her and dh's sister any left overs we have, i told dh i dont appreciate this and he shrugged me off,

my question is this am i the only one who would get mad over such short notice for people coming over and expecting food ? whenever we go somewhere we give people a week's notice and never expect people to feed us unless offered.

by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 12:02 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 12:05 PM

I find this absolutely rude!!! I would leave and not be at the house when she gets there, lol. Ok I wouldn't really do that, but when she gets there I would again tell her with your busy schedules that you have to have notice, atleast a week before she comes so you can plan. I don't think its asking too much.. And I would call and say it would be better for her stop by an grab something on her

by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 12:14 PM

I am torn  she is  being  inconsiderate and I believe in boundaries ,

But  still   you seem a lil ridged she is your husbands mom  as in  FAMILY .   IDK   jmo 

by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 12:23 PM

we really dont get along and regardless i  would expect some notice, just like with everyone else, she knows we have plans etc and

Quoting CSRodriguez:

I am torn  she is  being  inconsiderate and I believe in boundaries ,

But  still   you seem a lil ridged she is your husbands mom  as in  FAMILY .   IDK   jmo 

by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 12:28 PM

I agree.If my MIL comes I would need more than a weeks notice.Lets she say she is the world's biggest fake ass bitch.My hubby would say the same thing! She comes in and always picks apart my house.So if she comes I have to make sure everything is super clean and having 3 kids nothing is ever clean enough when she comes.We however don't invite her to our house and she never asks to come.We live 3 and a 1/2 hours away and moved over 3 years ago and she has been here twice.Not the best MIL or Grandparent you could ask for.

in lovetoddler girltoddler boybaby girl

by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 12:38 PM

 My in laws do it all the time and it pisses me off.  They always seem to show up just as were getting ready to do something as a family and then we end up not going like going to zoo,science center etc.. We have home and cell phone why can't they call and ask what were doing.  They live 45 min away what if we were not home?  You have every right to be pissed..My mom always call even if she is right down the street it is just common courtesy and if I say no we have plans she is fine with it.  But my family has great etiquette and manners unlike my in laws...

in loveboy n girltwin boys


by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 12:44 PM

ty ladies, lets just say she is as fake as they come, and no matter how clean our home is she complains, and there is always something wrong etc, and it upsets me that she doesnt care enough to give notice and then to expect food. she knew we bbq and is expecting any and all left overs, she knew this was my 1 day off before working for the rest of the week and she gave us an hr notice, we had to speed clean and she just called and she is bringing her grand daughter with her which is only 6 months and told me what we need to do to accomdate her and her daughter and grand daughter which makes me upset. i never EXPECT, anything when i go to someone's home,

by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 12:47 PM

Since all of our family lives several states away, yeah, I'd be pretty peeved if they wanted to show up with that short of notice. However, if we all lived in the same town, I probably wouldn't care. Then again we really don't have hectic schedules so it's not like it would be a hassle for us. 

by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 12:56 PM

My mom tried to pull that when I had my DS (my second child). She called and we talked, she told me she wanted to come visit and I said I didn't want company that would be staying for at least the first month. Well then she asked to talk to my DH and I guess she told him "Don't be surprised if you get a call and need to pick me up from the air port". I was sooo pissed! My mom lives in Idaho, we live in Nevada... so she would have been staying at out house. Not only that but my mom is very sick, and requires a lot of care... she has a home health nurse who normally comes and takes care of her at her home in Idaho... so having her at my house when I JUST had a baby would have been such a pain... not to mention my mom and I don't get along for more than a few hours at a time. It would have been a disaster! Needless to say I called her back and told her absolutely not.

by Bronze Member on Sep. 7, 2009 at 3:23 PM

Haha, I would lock my doors and if she became a problem (pounding the doors, ringing the bell obsessively) I'd call the cops and say she was told not to come and now won't stop harassing you. She was told no, she needs to respect that.

I do think a week's notice is a little much, but she should not call last minute either. Women like to have their house clean, be rested, and ready for visitors (family included). Also, your DH needs to be verbally backing you up to his mother on when she can and cannot come.

by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 4:16 PM

if i were as busy as you are i would be taken back as well due to it is rude just to come by on the drop of a dime with out asking if its ok and then demand to be feed ! its rude

Sign by Danasoft - For Backgrounds and Layouts

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)