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looking for advice on dealing with disaplining kids who have heart probs

Posted by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 5:12 PM
  • 4 Replies

my daughter has had 3 heart surgeries, one lung surgery,a mic-key button put in and she has to go back to the hospital for her (hopefully) her last surgery on sept. 17th 09. sometimes its hard to deal with her b/c i try to discipline her when she does something wrong but she gets a kinda panic attack and i get scared so i pick her right up and console her. is this bad to do? is it teaching her that she can do something wrong and mommy is just going to let her get away with it? how should i make her realize she is doing something wrong and her learn with out making her cry and freak out?

and she is 2 years old but she is maybe only 20lb. she is small but smart!!!

by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 5:12 PM
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Replies (1-4):
NewMom333
by Member on Sep. 7, 2009 at 5:19 PM

To be honest, I've never had to deal with a child who is having the medical issues your child does. I would, however, like to say that if my child were to go through surgeries and having easy panic attacks I would discipline on a case-by-case basis. If they did something very wrong I would stand my ground, but if its something small I would let them know it was wrong, but I would also make sure to hold and comfort my child whenever I feel its needed. In the end you might have to deal with some other behavior issues when they are older but for now, with surgeries at 2 years, old I would let it slide and deal with the behavior issues (if there are any) later on when they are older and healthier. Good luck and God bless!

singtastic
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 6:49 PM

I think it's ok to discipline her, you're just going to have to keep yourself very calm so that she stays calm too.

Get down on her level, set her on your lap maybe, and tell her what she did and what she should do next time.  Then put her in a time-out chair where she can watch a timer count down. 

If she gets herself worked up over it, force yourself to stay calm and keep talking to her until she's calmed down and then start the time-out over.  Once she's done her time-out without freaking out, she can go. 

Like you said, she's smart.  Sooner or later she'll figure out that it takes a heck of a lot more time to freak and cry and have to start over than it does to just do the time out.

God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers.

ashleykilleen
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 6:54 PM


Quoting singtastic:

I think it's ok to discipline her, you're just going to have to keep yourself very calm so that she stays calm too.

Get down on her level, set her on your lap maybe, and tell her what she did and what she should do next time.  Then put her in a time-out chair where she can watch a timer count down. 

If she gets herself worked up over it, force yourself to stay calm and keep talking to her until she's calmed down and then start the time-out over.  Once she's done her time-out without freaking out, she can go. 

Like you said, she's smart.  Sooner or later she'll figure out that it takes a heck of a lot more time to freak and cry and have to start over than it does to just do the time out.

I think this is your best bet.

CafeMom Tickers

~Look how far my Little Man has Come~

~*Ashley*~

*Loving Wifey To Chris*

~Wonderful Mommy To Sheamus~

maidenmouse
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 7:00 PM

I agree with the last mom about time outs. I have a 10 year old that I did not discipline when he was little due to severe asthma. He still has problems (asthma and behavior) I messed up!!!!! I now have a very well behaved 3 year old with Cancer. I use time out and I have to be very cautious because he has had to have 8 blood transfusions and I can not pick him up in anything but a soft and loving way while caring him to time out!!! I stay calm I can not have him freak out and fall off the couch. I however do not return to him if he gets upset. He gets three min. and then we hug and kiss and talk about what was bad and what is expected. I would with a heart condition start with a 20-30 second time out then hugs and kisses but work your way up to one min per age. Good luck but do discipline it is very important and you will live with it if you don't believe me I know. PS I do have a older healthy child 12 and she was disciplined like this and she is wonderful

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