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Overwhelmed (is this the first sign of PP dep)

Posted by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 10:59 PM
  • 9 Replies

Ok my son is 3 months old. He is first child so i've never been through any of this. I dont know if its not enough support from my husband or if im getting the pp. I feel like there is not enough hours in the day that there is always something. From doing laundry to dishes to feeding my son to just getting to sit down. I feel so overwhelmed i just wanna go lay in bed days. The doctor RX ampien while i was pregnant cause i couldnt sleep and i just wanna take 2 of them and go to bed for 24 hours. Know i dont have much to complain about my son is a good sleepers he sleeps probably from 8- 4 and than eats and gets a clean diaper and goes back to sleep for another 3 hours. And than my day starts. And i know when i got pregnant that this was what i had to look forward to but man has it hit me like a ton of bricks. My husband works full time and im now a stay at home mommy. Which before i worked full time and we had 2 incomes and now just 1 so we have had to cut back on alot of things and money gets tight. But i dont know what to do with all the feelings. Cause i told my husband tonight about them and he wasnt that supportive and kinda knocked me down. Cause i asked him for some help and its like his wrist are broken and he la la gagas around to get the littlest things done. For instance we went grocery shopping and the meat needed to get packed up and but in the freezer. And i said either feed the baby or i will do it. And i managed to feed the baby change the baby and put the baby to sleep before he opend the first bag to meat in.So i ended up doing it all.I just dont know what to do i know my husband works full time to take care of us but i just want some more support. Or am i going slippin into a lil bit of pp.I've just gotta all of these feelings and overwhelmed with the lil things that would of never of bothered me before. Cause before i could work full time and take care of our house. And now i feel like i cant even take care of myself let alone my family full time. Whats wrong with me???

by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 10:59 PM
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by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 11:08 PM

nothing is wrong wit u, ur a brand new mommy!!!!! u still have to get a hang of things, so yes u may feel overwhelmed. n i totally understand what ur sayin about ya hubby. i suggest that u sit him down n really talk 2 him. don't bitch n moan n complain, but tell him EXACTLY how u feel. when ur talkin 2 him try not to downplay him as a father n husband cuz that will only place him in defense mode n wat ur sayin won't get thru 2 him. jus tell him how frustrated u are n most importantly WHY. don't leave anythin out, tell him everythin dat is on ur mind. i hope that this helps u out some.....n don't be so hard on urself, it'll all turn out fine. you rock

by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 11:12 PM

its very normal to feel overwhelmed! once i had my baby, i felt like that too. i felt like i had to do everything myself, and at the same time like i couldn't do anything or go anywhere. my boyfriend is very good about helping but sometimes he gets like that too. what they dont understand is that taking care of a new baby and trying to do laundry or dishes, hell, even going pee or taking a shower is almost impossible. or so thats how it feels. you will feel better about everything once your baby has a real schedule and you get use to things, it takes time but it will get better! your so lucky your baby sleeps! and it can't hurt to talk to your doctor. i felt that way and cried about everything. i talked to my dr. and i felt better and ended up not having ppd. i think you'll be just fine!

by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 11:13 PM

There is nothing wrong with you - you are adjusting and it IS hard, especially with your first.  Your body is ALL out of whack even now so that doesn't help.  I can't really tell you how to fix it I can only tell you what I've tried to sounds like you are at least lucky enough to have a good sleeper.  So with that on your side, do what you can do and call it good.  As a SAHM you quickly learn there is NEVER enough time.  So, what I've found helps me feel better is to at least shower and dress everyday.  Getting out of pj's and sloppy hanging at home clothes goes a long way.  Don't beat yourself up, you will get better.  If you can, get out of the house WITHOUT the baby for even an hour a week - even if it's only to go to the grocery store.  MAKE TIME for you, don't wait for there to BE TIME FOR YOU.  There will NEVER BE time for you.  I JUST figured that out after 3 1/2 years and am so much happier now.  Around 6 months after my first was born I started to get into a groove.  Dishes got done more, I showered and dressed more, and heck some days I even vacuumed! LOL  It will happen...oh and I hate to break it to you, but it takes the men A LONG time to figure it out but usually they catch on to part of it, but not all of it.  With all this being said, if you have thoughts of hurting yourself or your baby, THEN you have a problem.  (***wanting to throw the baby out the window in the middle of the night when they've been crying for an hour does not qualify! LOL that is ok as long as it's not acted upon! LOL)  good luck.

by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 11:20 PM

So i guess the saying Patience is a Virtue is very true in my case than..... Thanks for the advice

by on Sep. 8, 2009 at 10:18 AM

I am in the exact same circumstances-my son is 3 months as well.  It is very difficult most days to even get a shower in.  While my husband is very supportive, he works all day and I stay home.  When he gets home at night he is tired, but I still need a break.  Soemtimes he veges out watching football, and Sam will be crying and he is just totally able to ignore it.  I thought something might be wrong with me, since all I wanted to do was sleep as well.  I am slowly figuring out a routine now, but still feel like there is not nearly enought time in the day.  Ultimately, you need to let soime things slide a little bit for awhile.  If the vaccuuming doesn't get done todya, oh well.  Enjoy this time with your baby-it is going by so fast!  Beleive me- it was very hard to let some housework go for me, but I decided that my sanity and my time with my son is way more important that a clean floor.   I know it's hard, but hang in there! we are new moms, and this is a whole new world, so expect that it is going to take awhile to adjust.  Nap when you can, and eat a good diet.  Go for walks while it is still nice out.  Remember to breathe, and if you have any thoughts/feelings that scare you (ie-hurting yourself or your child) talk to your doctor.  There is nothing wrong with asking for help!  You're a doing a great job and you will get through it!

by on Sep. 8, 2009 at 10:27 AM

oh i totally feel your pain!!!! i am in the same boat but my daughter is almost 8 months. I have been home with her for a couple months and since then i get no help at all! i think that they think this is our "job" since we arent working. We have a new puppy and there are times when the baby needs fed, changed, the puppy needs out, and im trying to cook dinner and he will just sit there.  ill ask him to either take the dog out or deal with the baby and he says he worked all day, he is tired!!!!!! well i have been working for 8 months 24/7!!!!lol

by on Sep. 8, 2009 at 4:40 PM

It does get better, I promise!  My DD is 7 months old, and she goes to daycare 2 days a week so that I can get a break.  She just started going 4 weeks ago.  I was laid off, so I became a SAHM, and it is hard to manage the house, finances, etc. and take care of the baby.  It is also hard to be home all day when you are used to being around people.  That is the hardest thing for me!  I had to get on Lexapro (very low dose) because I could not get happy on my own.  I was on meds before I got pregnant, so you may not need them, but definitely talk to your Dr!!

by on Sep. 8, 2009 at 4:58 PM

There isn't anything wrong with you! Its is absolutely normal to feel overwhelmed..I am a young mommy with 3 children..and I'm a SAHM..AND my husband is in the military..AND I have a few mysterious health problems that leave me feeling exhausted with just getting up!...I feel very very overwhelmed! I honestly feel depressed almost every single day..I do have to say that when my husband is home he does help but when he isn't it is all on me..

Anyways about your need to tell your husband how you feel and that you are just way to overwhelmed! If all fails just blame it on your changing hormones! lol

I know Im not a lot of help but I want you to know that I feel ya and I understand what you are going through!hugs

by on Sep. 8, 2009 at 6:23 PM
I totally get what you are going through...your life has changed over 90% and your husband's only a little. It will take time but if you do a few things every day, you may find yourself coming out of the slump...take a shower and get dressed in nice casual clothes, maybe take a walk or go to the park...the sunshine is good for you-vitamin D and it'll help your mood and look for a MOM's club in your area and join. I am a SAHM and I worked full time before I was a mom and it's easy to start feeling a little cut off from the world when you are not with your "work" friends or in that environment anymore. If you do a web search on MOM's clubs a local one may come up. I was able to relate to other new moms and moms with young kids (some are SAHMs and others work part time)and you get to do activities, many of them are free. I'd say if you feel worse in 1-2 months time, go to the dr and discuss could be a post-partum thing. Good luck to you!! It'll get better!
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