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Major Marital Advice Needed! Help- Kind of Long

Posted by on Apr. 19, 2008 at 9:12 PM
  • 4 Replies
Okay here is my problem- I love my husband dearly.. he is a wonderful man.. but he has no sense sometimes!  I told him he doesnt have to go just come and pick me up when its over with the suburban to put the stuff in..since I am 35weeks preg I shouldnt be picking up these 60lb concrete statues I wanted.. and his mom watched our 2 daughters for us.. so he stays for most of the thing except to go eat.. and I stayed a little longer then he would have liked because i was going to try an get our daughters a sand box.. so he was a dud the whole time.. 

last night he tells me he wants to go to cabelas which is a hunting and fishing store about 2 hours away -I want to go to .. so I said why dont we go sunday and do the auction saturday.. nope he HAD to go today because it was raining and just HAS to take the boat out on sunday! So I try to compromise I am like why dont we have your dad get us a good hotel deal and we can stay up there over night with the girls and have some family time walking around cabelas and doing some family stuff with including our daughters.. NOPE that wasnt happening and I REALLY wanted to go ( he wanted me to go too)  .. but I knew I cant handle walking around 4hours with a 4yr old and a 12month old being 35weeks preg and not go nuts since I KNOW he wouldnt be watching them..

So he goes and I take care of our daughters like I do EVERY day because I am a SAHM.. and spend time with his mom my sil all day.. while him and his dad ( who hates fishing and hunting)  go to cabelas .... and he is excepting me to be okay with this?! I am sooooo heart broken and mad.. 
and the last 2weeks everynight he has been on the computer looking up boat stuff and more boat stuff and more boat stuff.. for 2-3 hours or more at a time.. I cant take it

 and  He just up and walks out of the house during the day to go outside not telling me anything.. and leaves our 12month old just playing on the floor by her self.. I could be upstairs cleaning for an hour and have NO one to watch her becasue he goes on these weird  I have to do something rampages.. and oh look theres NOEL playing with pens when her dad was just in the house watching her.. while I was doing something.. I always tell him when I am doing something and I ALWAYS tell to him to keep an eye on the girls because I have to do such and such!
GRRR i am just sooo mad.. so this whole night I have been sooo tired and heartbroken.. I cant stop crying and he usually is loving and heartfelt but not right now.. its like I LOVE my WINTER husband but when my SUMMER husband comes out I want to send him down the river! What should I do ? Sorry this is sooooo long! I just cant take it anymore.. I Talk to him about it and he just keeps doing it! GRRRR

 

by on Apr. 19, 2008 at 9:12 PM
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Replies (1-4):
rettab
by on Apr. 19, 2008 at 9:18 PM
I am really sorry. I hope that you guys can work something out... your husband seems like a great person, he just doesn't want to be tied down. I don't really know exactly what advice to give you other than i would make him set down with you so that you two can talk things over. I wouldn't necessarily chew him out for the boating and stuff but i would definately talk to him about just up and leaving your daughter on the floor without telling you and those things because that is a danger to her. Hope that helped in some way and Good luck
ShellBell334
by on Apr. 19, 2008 at 9:30 PM
No pun intended but I am in the same boat as you. The only difference is I don't like going fishing or hunting. Although , I used to like to fish. Anyway , my hubby is the same exact way. He goes to play pool 2 nights a week , plays poker another night , and goes fishing at LEAST once a week. ANY days he has off from work , he is fishing. Doesn't matter if I need him at home or if I want him home to have family time. It just doesn't seem to register in his brain that this is a family and I am doing all the family things myself with the kids. It IS very frustrating. I'm sorry that I can't give you any help. All ,I can do is give you a hug and an "I understand".

I'll be watching this post to see what ideas the others ladies have.
MommySteph1011
by on Apr. 19, 2008 at 9:35 PM

Quoting ShellBell334:

No pun intended but I am in the same boat as you. The only difference is I don't like going fishing or hunting. Although , I used to like to fish. Anyway , my hubby is the same exact way. He goes to play pool 2 nights a week , plays poker another night , and goes fishing at LEAST once a week. ANY days he has off from work , he is fishing. Doesn't matter if I need him at home or if I want him home to have family time. It just doesn't seem to register in his brain that this is a family and I am doing all the family things myself with the kids. It IS very frustrating. I'm sorry that I can't give you any help. All ,I can do is give you a hug and an "I understand".

I'll be watching this post to see what ideas the others ladies have.
Thanks atleast I am not alone! I love Fishing! I really do.. but its hard to do it with a 12month old .. my 4yr old loves it .. but you cant just do what you want when u want -when u are a parent.... men just dont get that! and honestly we allow them to get away with it.. i try to put my foot down but it works for a week and back to square 1! or he makes me feel bad for getting upset

 

ShellBell334
by on Apr. 20, 2008 at 5:32 PM
Hmmmm , I guess everyone else is just as lost on this as we are.
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