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Advice to an anxious mum

Posted by on Oct. 12, 2009 at 1:42 AM
  • 10 Replies

My son is 4 months and is not sleeping for longer than 45 minutes for his daily sleeps. Ive been given a long list of advice and things to try like;

- swaddling

- comforting

- Give bottle just before sleep

- Pacifier

- Water inbetween bottles

- burping

- laying my hand on him til he calms down then walking out of room

- Ive even tried letting him cry it out (but im not huge on the crying it out) i only last 5-10 mins and get so anxious myself.


And the list goes on ladies..

Also when he is awake he tends to be clingy and whingey always wanting to be held or for me to be stimulating him or sitting by his side. As you all know this kind of 1 on 1 attention is draining and impossible. As i am a SAHM and a SAHWife. So i get to the point of getting nothing done in my whole day. 

I need advice or something else to try... who knows it might just take one of you ladies to suggest something i havent tried before.

Thanks for listening im very tired today :(

Heatherblue ribbonMummy to Seth-Oliver 

by on Oct. 12, 2009 at 1:42 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MummaH
by on Oct. 12, 2009 at 7:02 AM

BUMP - would love some advice girls :(

lyndallsmom
by on Oct. 12, 2009 at 7:10 AM

I'm sorry hun...my baby was like that too. And I have a 4 year old so you can imagine!!

My first piece of advice is to invest in a good carrier if you don't already have one. I love my Maya Wrap ring sling. It is great for quick trips to the store or if you just need a carrier you can put on in a pinch.

I also love the Moby style wraps. I made mine out of jersey knit fabric for $10 and used the instructions on the Moby website to tie it. That one was a godsend too. Made nursing very easy when my other daughter needed me. My baby took many naps in both carriers when she wouldn't otherwise take a nap at all.

Sometimes when babies are trying to reach a developmental milestone or learning something new they focus all their attention on mastering that task. It makes it difficult to get them to take that much needed nap. It does pass. Mia finally started to nap at around 7-8 months.

Hang in there mama, it will pass. Hugs....

 

Kim

in lovebreastfeedinggirl on a swing


      Kim & Alan              Mia                     Lyndall


       8/2/03                10/1/2008             3/20/05

Tatersmommy
by on Oct. 12, 2009 at 7:18 AM

i am in the same boat right now, my 3 almost 4 month old is doing the same thing.  i will rock her for about 45 minutes and think that she is asleep and then lay her down in her crib and she wakes back up and its the same 45 minutes again.  i have a 3 yr old and i do not have the time to sit in a rocking chair with her all day and now its moving to night times.  i know she is teething, i have given her everything under the sun to make her comfy.  i have thought about getting a good carrier but then i don't want her to get to use to sleeping in carriers or getting use to being carried everywhere.  i am to afraid that she will not meet her milestones.  but its driving nuts.  i am not sleeping much anymore and my DH is not much help

Lilypie - (KaTz) Lilypie - (Pd2B)

MummaH
by on Oct. 12, 2009 at 5:05 PM

Thanks so much for your response, atleast i know there is an end to all of this... ill try keep strong and positive. I have a pouch/sling so im gonna try using that today.


Heatherblue ribbonMummy to Seth-Oliver 

lyndallsmom
by on Oct. 12, 2009 at 5:20 PM


Quoting Tatersmommy:

i am in the same boat right now, my 3 almost 4 month old is doing the same thing.  i will rock her for about 45 minutes and think that she is asleep and then lay her down in her crib and she wakes back up and its the same 45 minutes again.  i have a 3 yr old and i do not have the time to sit in a rocking chair with her all day and now its moving to night times.  i know she is teething, i have given her everything under the sun to make her comfy.  i have thought about getting a good carrier but then i don't want her to get to use to sleeping in carriers or getting use to being carried everywhere.  i am to afraid that she will not meet her milestones.  but its driving nuts.  i am not sleeping much anymore and my DH is not much help


Don't worry about them getting attached to the carrier or missing milestones. Worn babies  are overall happier and more satisfied and still reach their milestones. As much as I have worn Mia, she also loves to be on the floor crawling around and furniture surfing. She has been walking w/ help for about the last 3 months and we are expecting her first steps any day.

Kim

 

 

in lovebreastfeedinggirl on a swing


      Kim & Alan              Mia                     Lyndall


       8/2/03                10/1/2008             3/20/05

marywilliams
by on Oct. 13, 2009 at 12:20 AM

Caroline went through a phase like that.  We started putting her down in longer and longer spells - she eventually learned that she had more fun when not being held.  Once she started crawling - it was over!  She hates being carried around or even sitting in the stroller.  She is taking steps now, letting go of furniture and standing.  She'll be running pretty soon!  Now that she's on the move she wants to be on the floor.

Once she could sit and play with toys, she was happier too.

We did buy a swing that goes side to side and that helped.  We found out she had reflux and that's why she wasn't sleeping long.   Once we got the right medication and doses she slept much better.  We also let her sleep on her tummy once she could pick up and turn her head.  She was just so much more comfortable that way.  We talked to the doctor and he pretty much told us that it was up to us.  Yes, it is a SIDS risk factor, but not a cause.  You have to use your judgement regarding your child.  We thought the benefits outweighed the risk since she would choke on her own spit-up seemed higher.  It's up to you, but that's what worked for us.  I'd talk to the pediatrician and see if there is something you can do or something else that might be causing the lack of sleep.

Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker

Do you have 2 kids under 2 years old? Join my group to share, learn and vent. www.cafemom.com/group/2undertwo

utopia5333
by on Oct. 13, 2009 at 12:41 AM

my Son doesn't like to be swaddled but he loves to be held tight when i rock him so try that

I also  try to sing and when i get tired or run out of things to sing i  will put Jewels Lullaby on (  I have  others but that one works the best)

I also rub my finger from his forehead down to the tip of his nose repedativly  helps getting him to close his eyes and works great ( did it with my eldest too )

Butter331
by on Oct. 14, 2009 at 8:25 AM

My son was like that too - 45 min naps and hated being put down. The only thing he liked for any period of time was his swing. I had a sling when he was tiny and a carrier when he was a little bigger. They were lifesavers! Woohoo free hands! :) When we have our second I think I am going to invest in a nice sling and just use that the whole time.

Georgie0502
by on Oct. 14, 2009 at 10:02 AM

I know it sucks, but it is actually a phase. Between 3 and 5 months, babies get really clingy with one parent. You can do one of two things... 1. wear your baby as most of the PPs suggested, or 2. start slowly trying to separate yourself. you will need someones help. your husband when he is home, a grandparent, a friend etc. this is what worked for us. my DD was independant in about two weeks.

We got someone to start playing with her with me around and getting her comfortable with that person. then we started having that person put her down for her naps with me around (it will suck, bc the naps will be short and infused with crying, but stick it out, its worth it i promise) once she started doing that well, we switched to having this person put her down without me around. and started having her play with this person without me around. final step was to have this person put DD down for bed at night.

It might not sound like it has anything to do with getting your LO to sleep longer, but it will help. Right now he probably doesnt want to sleep, because he wants to be near you. Once he starts to feel comfortable being away from you, he will take longer naps and sleep better at night and you will find you have so much more time for yourself (whether that be for stuff you want to do or finally finishing that load of laundry ^_^) I guess I should also say that my DD was cosleeping until we tried this, and it successfully got her sleeping on her own too.

I really hope this helps

LiviaA
by on Oct. 14, 2009 at 4:55 PM

I would certainly suggest trying some kind of hands free baby carrier.  Also, have you tried giving him a bath and using lavender chamomile lotion to calm him right before naps?

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