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what do youu do? re: sleep

Posted by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 1:09 PM
  • 13 Replies

How do you mama's handle the times during which baby is waking during the night. You're all alone with baby and every one else in the house is sleeping soundly. This has got to be the hardest time of day for me. :-(  I am the type of person who loves and needs my sleep. I'm very cranky and not a good person to be around if I don't. I'm basically selfish when it comes to that one area of my life.

My oldest two kids are both school age and DH and I didn't plan on another baby and wham...got pregnant last year and have a 4 month old now. It's tough. I'm not used to this at all and while I know that our baby sleeps good enough for her age it's still tough getting up in the cold house and dealing with a baby. Sometimes I just want to cover my head and not have to be the one to get up again. I've also been contemplating putting her in a mothers morning out program a few mornings per week or a day care part-time just to get some sleep. That's completely selfish and I couldn't do it but it's a fantasy of mine to have some ALONE time again.

And don't suggest DH, he has a rigid and tough work schedule and he can't help during the night. He can help some during the day and on weekends but not much. Plus, I'm the only one who knows how to even lay the baby in her bed so she doesn't wake when she is laid down. Sad but true.

Just wondering how you other mama's keep a good positive frame of thought when having to get up at night. It helps that I can turn on the t.v. and watch it if I want to while i rock her back to sleep but sometimes I still feel so lonely that time of night and ugh I'm just so tired of doing it and have done this for the last 4 months of my life and it seems like forever! I know that this will pass and she will grow up before I know it because I've BT/DT with two other children but it's still so very hard.

I need coping skills!

~*~over 40 mom to three, (1) teenager and (2) younguns....age 7 & baby DD born 9/09




I'm a formula feeding, disposable diapering,
co-sleeping, c-section mamaX3, baby-wearing, pro-circumcision, pacifier allowing, homeschooling, work-at-home mom, to my children. And my tubes are tied!!

by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 1:09 PM
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Replies (1-10):
orange4agua72
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 1:31 PM

I really have no advice: I have no coping skills either: this is why we started CIO. 

Stick Figure Family at FreeFlashToys.com 

jlizgar
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 1:55 PM

I co sleep with my DS and am still breastfeeding him so night time wakings are pretty easy for us...he wakes up, I roll over, he latches on and nurses for a few minutes, he falls back to sleep and rolls over, all the while ive never had to get out of bed!

He wakes up and nurses MUCH less now that he is older (15 months) and we plan to transition him out of the family bed soon, we were waiting until he was 14 months and eating less at night so that the transition will be easier on all of us. 

Mom71307
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 1:57 PM

I BF so no one can help at night anyway.  I also have a 2 1/2 yr old who didn't sleep through the night until 18 months.  My son is now consistently sleeping 5-7 hours in a stretch overnight but it is tiring sometimes.  I just put him in bed with me typically so I can lay down while he nurses and when he is finished, I lay him back in his own bed.  It will get harder when he outgrows his bassinett and I have to trek upstairs to his bedroom and feed him that way but I will do what has to be done.  I sometimes nap IF I can get the toddler AND 3 month old down at the same time which is a few times a week!  I also won't have alone time for another several months since my son won't take a bottle... I have no choice but to be with him all the time so even "dates" include him!

Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers
expectantmom81
by Erin on Jan. 3, 2010 at 2:16 PM

I know how you feel. I am the same way and had to do it all alone also at night since my DH needed to be able to get up for work in the morning. I started to do the CIO method and that truely helped. When he would wake up, I would go in the room, give him a binky and let him CIO. Usually he would go back to sleep within 10 minutes. That is really the only advice I can give. GL mama

ttcbaby dust Wife to the best husband ever (9-23-03), Mother to a wonderful son (7-7-08), and TTC #2. mod

Heidi428
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 4:23 PM

I wish I could give good advice, but I am in your same situation.  I take one day at a time.  Can you nap when your baby does during the day?  I try to tell myself that this time will pass, even though it seems to take forever now.  My son is 5 months and it's getting better than just a month ago.  Hang in there! 

Raidensmom
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 4:37 PM

i have a 3 month old I just change her if she needs it then I feed then burb and put her back in her bed and go back to sleep, she whines for a few minutes then falls asleep. Energy drinks and coffee have become my new best friend. She won't bf, she was in the hospital for 3 weeks after she was born and they got her use to bottle feed and there was no way that I would put for 12 months.

jus1jess
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 4:45 PM

I think the fact that you admit that your baby's behavior is normal and that trying to avoid the responsibility would be selfish is great. If you know it's normal, you can't hate it as much. If you know what's right and wrong, you won't do the wrong thing. So your attitude alone will be a big help =) Just keep reminding yourself that this doesn't last long and being a mom (#1 caretaker) is a very big job with just as big rewards. Keep in mind that making a baby cry it out for your own convenience is also very selfish. So just keep doing the right thing =) Make night time interaction quiet, calm, dim, and unstimulating. 

Jessica~ teen, unmarried, sexually active & in love w/ 1 man (baby's daddy, not bio-father), atheist, liberal, bisexual, gay marriage supporting, pro choice, environmentally friendly, omnivorous but vegan at heart, animal loving, drug free, natural feeding w/out a schedule, public blanketless nursing, child led weaning, delayed/slow solid intro, junk food banning, co sleeping, toddler carrying/wearing, used to cloth diaper, positive potty teaching, anti cry it out, non spanking, over 20lbs & still rear facing, non vaxing, natural birth advocating, attachment parenting, stay at home mom to a happy, healthy, smart, sweet, beautiful girl


Women should not feel guilty if they are UNABLE to breastfeed, but they should feel guilty if they are UNWILLING to do so, and they should be intellectually honest enough to know the difference. - Elizabeth Gene 

Katt709
by Silver Member on Jan. 3, 2010 at 10:02 PM

I'm sorry you're feeling that way. If it helps, you are not alone! I feel the same way. I am the only one that gets up with DS and have been since we came home from the hospital. DH sleeps all night long, doesn't even hear DS cry. It's just me. Drives me crazy! But this too shall pass. We all will get past this and soon enough wish our babies would stop growing up! I can't give advice - other than to keep doing what you're doing and know that it will soon end!

Hugs mama! 

akl78
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 10:40 PM

I feel for you!!! My little one is ten weeks. She sleeps pretty well, but I feel like I do everything!!! If mothers day out is a way for you to have a couple of hours, take it!! The baby will work on her social skills and get use to other people. You can get some sleep or something else done without your little sidekick. A couple of hours away will make those sleepless nights easier on you. Plus, it will put you in a better mood. My life is absolutely crazy, but I make myself go to the gym four days a week. She goes in the kid zone for two hours, I get to workout and take a shower in peace. It is a lot easier to deal with the craziness when you know you can get a break for a little bit. Good luck!! Just remember you not the only mother up for the four am feeding...:))

supermama68
by on Jan. 4, 2010 at 3:38 PM

Thanks everyone! DD usually does a lot better during the night when she isn't sick. She has a cold right now so hopefully things will get back to normal soon.

I have an older daughter that was super tough from day one so I am thankful I don't have to go through that but at the same time I was soooo used to getting sleep for the last 7 1/2 years. lol. It's hard to go back to having a little one that is so needy.

And CIO isn't happening in our house. I am definitely an AP all the way. ;-) But I'm glad it works for those that use it.

_____________________________

~*~over 40 mom to three, (1) teenager and (2) younguns....age 7 & baby DD born 9/09




I'm a formula feeding, disposable diapering,
co-sleeping, c-section mamaX3, baby-wearing, pro-circumcision, pacifier allowing, homeschooling, work-at-home mom, to my children. And my tubes are tied!!

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