My nephew is almost 27 months old and he still will not wean from my sister's breast. She works full time as a nurse, and when she isn't home, he is fine without breastfeeding, but as soon as she walks in the door he wants to nurse. She has tried everything she knows to wean him, but nothing is working. She tries to keep the nursing to just before bed, but he has gotten to the point where if she refuses him, he hits her and pulls on her boobs and shirt. When they came to stay the night with us last November, he was lifting her shirt, pulling at her bra and saying "boob boob" b/c he wanted to nurse. She is pretty embarassed by his behavior, as he is starting to act up in public about it alot now. Does anyone have a simliar experience or tips they can share that I can pass to her? Thanks ladies.
I wish I had some advice for you. Just that maybe if she wants him to stop all together then try stopping the night time feedings. Tell him he's a big boy and big boy's drink from cups. I wish her all the luck in the world. Sorry couldn't be much help.
I know nothing about weaning. I hope some other members have great advice!
Have a baby? Come join the Babies group! ~Honeybun09: Babies Mod~
Tell her to treat it like any other behavioral problem... because that's what this is. He needs to learn that he can't nurse every single time he asks... but he can ask, and if mom says no, that means no.
He honestly sounds no where near ready to wean, so I wouldn't have that be the main goal at the moment because forcing it will just make things harder. But she can lay out rules when it comes to nursing like "no pulling at my shirt", "if you punch or kick, you go in time out"... or whatever her discipline methods are.
Tell her to sit down and talk with him about it. Come up with a sign, or codeword (other than boob if she doesn't like him using that word to ask to nurse) and she can repeat the word or sign for him every time he wants to nurse.
It can be as simple as "if you pull at my shirt, punch or kick or _____ you can't nurse. If you ask nicely using our "code word", you can"... and then follow through with it. It will take time, but he will get it eventually and realize that those bad behaviors don't get him what he wants.
Also, could his strong desire to nurse all the time be a way for him to be as close to her as possible when she's home? Maybe he doesn't know any other way to get her undivided attention and, sort of, "make-up" missed time with her? Maybe come up with another special activity for them to do together as soon as she gets home... reading a story, or playing a special game, or whatever he likes to do most.
Again, though... he doesn't sounds ready to wean at all and forcing the issue will only make it worse. Get the nursing manners under control, set limits and try and find substitute activities that give him plenty of her attention when she's home. She should be able to feel out when a better time to actively encourage weaning is... but this ain't it.
This is great advice = )
My kids self-weaned and we never had issues.
Quoting LeanneC:
Tell her to treat it like any other behavioral problem... because that's what this is. He needs to learn that he can't nurse every single time he asks... but he can ask, and if mom says no, that means no.
He honestly sounds no where near ready to wean, so I wouldn't have that be the main goal at the moment because forcing it will just make things harder. But she can lay out rules when it comes to nursing like "no pulling at my shirt", "if you punch or kick, you go in time out"... or whatever her discipline methods are.
Tell her to sit down and talk with him about it. Come up with a sign, or codeword (other than boob if she doesn't like him using that word to ask to nurse) and she can repeat the word or sign for him every time he wants to nurse.
It can be as simple as "if you pull at my shirt, punch or kick or _____ you can't nurse. If you ask nicely using our "code word", you can"... and then follow through with it. It will take time, but he will get it eventually and realize that those bad behaviors don't get him what he wants.
Also, could his strong desire to nurse all the time be a way for him to be as close to her as possible when she's home? Maybe he doesn't know any other way to get her undivided attention and, sort of, "make-up" missed time with her? Maybe come up with another special activity for them to do together as soon as she gets home... reading a story, or playing a special game, or whatever he likes to do most.
Again, though... he doesn't sounds ready to wean at all and forcing the issue will only make it worse. Get the nursing manners under control, set limits and try and find substitute activities that give him plenty of her attention when she's home. She should be able to feel out when a better time to actively encourage weaning is... but this ain't it.
*Happily married mommy of a preschooler, toddler and a new addition on the way!*
Quoting LeanneC:
Tell her to treat it like any other behavioral problem... because that's what this is. He needs to learn that he can't nurse every single time he asks... but he can ask, and if mom says no, that means no.
He honestly sounds no where near ready to wean, so I wouldn't have that be the main goal at the moment because forcing it will just make things harder. But she can lay out rules when it comes to nursing like "no pulling at my shirt", "if you punch or kick, you go in time out"... or whatever her discipline methods are.
Tell her to sit down and talk with him about it. Come up with a sign, or codeword (other than boob if she doesn't like him using that word to ask to nurse) and she can repeat the word or sign for him every time he wants to nurse.
It can be as simple as "if you pull at my shirt, punch or kick or _____ you can't nurse. If you ask nicely using our "code word", you can"... and then follow through with it. It will take time, but he will get it eventually and realize that those bad behaviors don't get him what he wants.
Also, could his strong desire to nurse all the time be a way for him to be as close to her as possible when she's home? Maybe he doesn't know any other way to get her undivided attention and, sort of, "make-up" missed time with her? Maybe come up with another special activity for them to do together as soon as she gets home... reading a story, or playing a special game, or whatever he likes to do most.
Again, though... he doesn't sounds ready to wean at all and forcing the issue will only make it worse. Get the nursing manners under control, set limits and try and find substitute activities that give him plenty of her attention when she's home. She should be able to feel out when a better time to actively encourage weaning is... but this ain't it.
I am going to print up your response and give it to her. Thanks for the advice, it sounds perfect!
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on Mar. 21, 2010 at 6:14 AM