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Why does she do this? (vent but I really needed to)

Posted by on May. 26, 2010 at 1:06 PM
  • 12 Replies

 Some of you may know that I was not raised by my birth mom. She has admitted to me that she married my birth dad just to get into the United States and gave birth to me to secure her status. (I know nice birth mom huh?) Anyways, she offered me a job to go and work with her from Midnight - about 4 am.

 We could use the extra $ but I just don't have the mental health within me to deal with her. She calls me fat, ugly, and that I should be ashamed of myself. Fat because I'm a overweight and I'm ugly and should be embarrassed because of my vitiligo. Ummm, hello I just had a baby less then 11 weeks ago and have had vitiligo since I was 9. (It's hereditary.)

 I finally got tired of her slamming everything in my life and stood up for myself. Then she had the nerve to tell me. "Well, I would never talk to my mother the way your talking to me." I in turned said to her. "Well, I would never treat my children the way you treated me and besides you walked out on me over 30 yrs ago and now you want to walk back into my life and to tell me what to do? It doesn't work like that."

 I have had a massive headache since yesterday and can't get it to go away. I've done everything I can to get rid of it. Maybe it's not helping that I can't stop crying and that it's even hard to be a good Mommy. I was lucky that I was able to pull it together for Alex's "moving up" ceremony.  But who I really feel bad for is my DH. He's the one left holding the bag and is doing everything he can to put me back together again. I just can't deal with her anymore and I think for the sake of my mental health that I'm just going to have to stay away from her. Sorry I just had to vent and am doing my best to pull myself together and writing jokes just isn't cutting it at the moment.

 

by on May. 26, 2010 at 1:06 PM
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Replies (1-10):
rileysmommy229
by on May. 26, 2010 at 1:09 PM

 *hugs* i'm sorry she isn't the mother she should be :( I would stay away from her!

kstanley_86
by on May. 26, 2010 at 1:11 PM

Sorry you're going through that...I would stay away from her even if you do need the extra money.  It's not worth you being miserable you can always find another way to make the money, or maybe cut back on expenses some how?

mommyjenn84
by on May. 26, 2010 at 1:15 PM

i am so so sorry you have had to deal with that. though from all shes put you through id say that you are on the right road by moving on. she used you when she had you and now it sounds like shes just as cold now as she was then... jimo. good luch mama. sounds like you have a great hubby. ***HUGS***

MarShy740
by on May. 26, 2010 at 1:16 PM

I would say what u r doing now is the best thing for u stay away from her...Just cry it out soon u will realize that u shouldn't be the one crying she is cause she lose out on something and Just keep ur head up and move on....

JavaMama11309
by on May. 26, 2010 at 1:22 PM

You should stay away from her, and DON'T FEEL BAD ABOUT IT! She didn't feel bad when she said all those horrible things to you! Kids are not a free ride that you can dump off and leave once you have your life the way you want it. You already sound like a much better mother than your own! Don't cut yourself down because your own mother is selfish! I can't believe that people actually do that! This has no reflection on you or the person you are! You were right to say those things to her, because she has never been a mother to you, so she doesn't deserve any of the love and/or respect that is due to a mother! Tell her to get in touch when she decides that she's ready to act like a real mom: supportive, loving, deserving of respect! Her actions show that not only does she not respect you or your dad, but she sure as hell doesn't respect herself! She's the one who is miserable, so don't let her bring you down to her level. Miserable people don't like to be miserable alone, so don't be her crutch! Be strong for yourself and your family! Good Luck, hun!

riotgrrl
by on May. 26, 2010 at 1:32 PM

((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))) sorry you are going through this. Do what you need to do for you and your family. Let your DH know how much you appreciate him!! Good men are hard to find.

mommyhonu
by Mary on May. 26, 2010 at 6:20 PM

 So proud of me ... she just called and I didn't answer the phone

mommy2xp
by on May. 26, 2010 at 10:20 PM

 good for you! you can come visit me in boring nebraska anytime lol  You are doing the right thing by not talking to her shes obviously only going to make things worse and no amount of money is worth that kind of stress

Quoting mommyhonu:

 So proud of me ... she just called and I didn't answer the phone

 

mlmartinez
by on May. 26, 2010 at 10:46 PM

I know how you feel kinda...different reasons but same situation with a BM deciding to tell me what to do when she is in no way my mom...There is definitely a difference between being a mother and being a mom...

Any woman can be a mother but not every mother can be a mom....

mommyhonu
by Mary on May. 26, 2010 at 11:29 PM

 would it be really bad of me if I just refered to her as my birthdonor? lol!

Quoting mlmartinez:

I know how you feel kinda...different reasons but same situation with a BM deciding to tell me what to do when she is in no way my mom...There is definitely a difference between being a mother and being a mom...

Any woman can be a mother but not every mother can be a mom....

 

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