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I'm having his baby and we can't agree on anything

Posted by on May. 26, 2010 at 5:57 PM
  • 41 Replies
I'm expecting a baby girl in August. The father of this baby doesn't want me to use an infant carrier because he doesn't want a peice of plastic to come between him and his child. I wanted to decorate the room with Tinkerbell or the Little Mermaid since my 1 year old daughter will be sharing a room with this baby. He thinks that Disney is harmful to kids because they're addicting and finds commercialism for kids is also harmful because it brainwashes them into liking something before they're old enough to realize that they may never have in the first place but didn't now any better. For instance we picked pastel blue, pastel pink and pastel purple. I wanted the pastel blue for the walls and then use the pink and purple for the sponge technique. For the twim I was thinking pink or the purple or maybe an off white. No, he picks iguana green for the trim. He thinks that bright color green goes with the other colors very well. He doesn't want us doing the spongue technique because he thinks it draws all the attention to the walls and not anything else. I then said doesn't matter now because that funky bright green is going to be vibrant eye sore and thats all anyone is going to notice. He also told me that the colors I always pick out for the girls' room are not that vibrant and boring. Which makes me feel like he thinks I'm boring and not vibrant at all. I know this is his baby and not just mine but at the same time he wants to do everything his way and if I voice that I want to do some things my way he gets all pissy and acts like all I want him around for is just to be the father and nothing else. I guess I just feel since I'm mom that I should be able to decorate my daughters' room while he gets to decorate my boys' room. I'm a girl and I want the girls' room to say that two little girls sleep and play in this room. He doesn't. Infact he does not want the girls' room to be girlie at all. I want to have flowers or fairies or girlie things and he wants the room to just be solid colors and nothing else. And forget trying to compromise because he accuses me that all the compromising is weighed more on my side and less on his. We can't seem to agree on anything. And its always me giving in to make him happy and just so we can stop fighting. He doesn't see it that way, he sees it as me realizing that he knows more and I'm trusting him to do the right thing. Right, this is the same guy who wants to put a 60 foot tall metal scuplted dragon in our front yard with two wizard lamp posts, knight statues, with nomes, goblins, gargoyles and an 8 foot tall brick wall that is tye dyed colored. Yeah, I'm finding it hard to trust his judgment on anything that deals with decorating. There is more that just surrounds the baby but I will leave it at this for now. I will add more later. Thanks for reading and sorry its so long.
by on May. 26, 2010 at 5:57 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mommyhonu
by Mary on May. 26, 2010 at 6:02 PM

 ((((hugs)))) Idk what to say. Hope you find something that works out for you.

Gecko85
by on May. 26, 2010 at 6:05 PM

You guys sound like you are two very different people. I think the him not thinking you are vibrant thing is probably not the case. I think you are reading too much into that. Okay, so I am kind of "crunchy" so I tend to agree with your guy on a lot of his views, but that does not mean he should not compromise with you. So you want to have fairies and disney, but he wants no girlyness and no commercialism so compromise. He can't teach them why commercialism is bad if they are never exposed to it. IMO they should be exposed to both girly things and toys like toy tool sets so they can be exposed to everything and have a choice. Maybe you can have the room be a little less girly. but not without girly stuff at all, KWIM? Also, as for the carrier we have a plastic one that we use right now, but me and my crunchy self are making a mei tai for the baby too. I HATE the plastic carrier, but the world is not going to come to an end if we use it once in a while. I do think it is good that your man cares so much. So many men would just say, "I don't know (care) do whatever you want" when it came to their opinion on the baby. You and I are lucky that we have guys who have opinions on that kind of thing, but he really should compromise with you.

I am a...

Cloth diapering, Breast Feeding, Selective Vaxxing, Co-sleeping, ERF to the MAX, non-CIO, Wiccan, Gay Rights Supporting, Outdoorsy, Crafty, Animal loving,  Girl Scout Supporting, College Educated, Army Wife, Other culture absorbing, liberal, SAHM, to one beautiful baby girl.

Arnamentia
by on May. 26, 2010 at 6:13 PM

I'd look for a compromise, too, and just tell him you want to decorate with SOMETHING, since nothing is just boring. What about circles of different colors on the walls? Or butterflies? Thats not Disney at all, its just nature! Or maybe a non-disney animal theme, jungle or forest or underwater? They're gender neutral-ish! I dont know, sorry mama and I hope you two can work it out!

Stephie280
by on May. 26, 2010 at 6:16 PM

The part i don't get is that he doesn't want to use an infant carrier the what the heck does he want to use because all car seats are made of plastic.

thekayk
by on May. 26, 2010 at 6:16 PM

how about moon & star's or a jungle thyme or animals ?hugs

ambermario4ever
by on May. 26, 2010 at 6:24 PM

are you guys married and is it your house or his house. if your not married then he should have some say but you should make the final decision if it is your house then you can decorate it how ever you want to but if it is his then he gets to make the final decision on that 

Gecko85
by on May. 26, 2010 at 6:25 PM

probably a wrap or to just carry her. That is what I do.

Quoting Stephie280:

The part i don't get is that he doesn't want to use an infant carrier the what the heck does he want to use because all car seats are made of plastic.


I am a...

Cloth diapering, Breast Feeding, Selective Vaxxing, Co-sleeping, ERF to the MAX, non-CIO, Wiccan, Gay Rights Supporting, Outdoorsy, Crafty, Animal loving,  Girl Scout Supporting, College Educated, Army Wife, Other culture absorbing, liberal, SAHM, to one beautiful baby girl.

Sweet_Britt
by on May. 26, 2010 at 6:28 PM

I think he means the ones you wear on your body...like those carriers you clip onto yourself..for like..baby wearing and stuff : )

Quoting Stephie280:

The part i don't get is that he doesn't want to use an infant carrier the what the heck does he want to use because all car seats are made of plastic.


Pregnancy%20ticker

Stephie280
by on May. 26, 2010 at 6:42 PM

I didn't know they made any of those out of plastic. i have 5 and they are all cloth. thats why i was confused

Quoting Sweet_Britt:

I think he means the ones you wear on your body...like those carriers you clip onto yourself..for like..baby wearing and stuff : )

Quoting Stephie280:

The part i don't get is that he doesn't want to use an infant carrier the what the heck does he want to use because all car seats are made of plastic.



mommie2twogirls
by on May. 26, 2010 at 8:04 PM

ok i can honestly say i didnt finish reading this post.... i was so mad after the first few lines. the colors are boring? ummmmm does he realize the room is suppose to be relaxing, not so bright its distracting??? he sounds like a control freak! sorry and what the hell does he mean he doesnt want to use and infant carrier? u mean like a car seat???? um hello its the law! if when he is out with you and the baby and he wants to carry the baby so that "plastic doesnt come between him and his baby" let him carry her, but he is being really stupid if you ask me, sounds like you might be better on your own

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