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PPD...still? long vent *UPDATE*

Posted by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 12:15 AM
  • 14 Replies

I think I might still be depressed. Most days I feel fine but lately I just dont have patience for dd or dh. I absolutly HATE where we are living (with my grandma temporarily). I cant relax. I have to take a handful of pills to sleep every night. I am starting to say mean things to dd and raising my voice. I am starting to get into arguments all the time with dh for no good reason. I am so sad b/c we just cant live like a normal family. Everyone is always breathing down my neck b/c of the baby. NO ONE will give dh a chance for a job. dd's medical insurance runs out 2 1/2 mo. and it takes a good 2 mo. to get insurance at a job. Tonight I am really thinking I hate being a mom and a wife. I dont want to be around anyone. Lately I'm wondering why did I never amount to anything. I dont have a college degree. Never had a great job. I don't enjoy anything anymore. I feel like there is no hope and we will be stuck forever. I'm so tired of struggling. I dont know what to do but it seems like I want to give up. I cant go to a doctor b/c it costs so much w/o insurance as well as the expensive medication. I just dont understand why nothing is going in the right direction. I always tell myself not to give up but I have done it for so long that I am about to hit the bottem. sorry so long but I dont have anyone to talk to.

*UPDATE* thanks so much for all your concerns. that alone means alot and makes me feel better! dh was called back to a temporary job which he has worked for before and he will start work again on monday morning. its a start i guess but he will continue to look for a good permanent job somewhere. i think it will definantly help us to be away from eachother during the day...we spend way too much time together and we like it but sometimes we get on eachothers last nerve. so its a small step but atleast we are moving forward.


by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 12:15 AM
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Replies (1-10):
caydenmom08
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 12:18 AM

hugging were here for you 

SamandBrian943
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 12:27 AM

You can look online and find resources for low cost, sliding scale, and usually free, counseling services in your area. You really shouldn't have to struggle with the way you are feeling alone, it's not fair to you.

 

hugs

gracebubbles07
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 12:49 AM

I hope things get better for you guys. Talk about jobs...I can't even find one and my husband couldn't find one until a guy that went to our church asked if he wanted tobe a temp and workfora while there and he got the job work for about 2 months and then no job!! But at the same time, the guy who worked there was also retiring so he finally got a call to work there. But before that...everything just felt like it was gong down hill for us! Had to move back in with my in-laws and it's hard living with parents...they want you to do this and that and raise your kid this way and that way...it's frustrating...but just hang in there and have hope. I am sure something will turn up and he will get a job and some how you guys can get health insurance and all. It all seems to be slow and nothing is going to happen but something will. I am going back to school and seeing how that will help me =P just because I cannot find a job any where...=( But I wish you the best of luck!

Jaxsonsmama2009
by Silver Member on Jun. 3, 2010 at 12:54 AM
If you really think you are depressed try st johns wart. It's a supplement that you can buy at walmart. It really does help lift your mood. I know this won't fix your problems but it will give you a clearer head and a more positive outlook for the future. It can interact with some birth control though so do some research if you are on the pill or anything. I took this when I couldn't afford a doctor either and it really helped
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IsabellesMom23
by on Jun. 4, 2010 at 12:24 PM

oh tell me about it. I was recently diagnosed with PPD. I was given a celexa (an antidepressant). I could say i am in the same situation as you. You are not alone. I am 6 weeks PP and i feel i want out so bad. Im constantly yelling at my 2 1/2 yr old for so many reasons. She just doesnt leave her sister alone. She wants to constantly touch her and kiss her and mush her. Its just so annoying and she just wont listen to leave her alone. UGHH!! Another thing is that we are living with my sister in law and her 3 kids and they are ages 13,11,and 9 and they just dont want to play with my daughter anymore and they are constantly yelling at her and making her cry. We all dont have a job and money is really tight. My life is soooo boring. My husband helps me out with my little one and well he disciplines my other daughter but he spends alot of time on the computer playing games and well that bothers me. I guess im asking too much of my husband and he says that im never gonna be happy with what he gives me but i just dont really know what i want. SIGH. I miss my family that is in texas, really far from since im in michigan. I have no friends or any place to run to. I think im going crazy. I find myself wanting to cry all the time. I hide my emotions by trying to make people laugh and i am really outgoing person but on the inside im dying, i want people to understand me but they cant.

Today i found out that antidepressants might increase the risk for sucidal thoughts and patients taking the drug should be monitored. Great just what i needed. I need something to cheer me up or make me normal, not something that could make me worse. The pharmacist told me that it take about a month to take effect into your system. I dont have a month to feel better, I need to feel better now. I dont know if counseling will make me better but i wanna give it a try.

If you are interested in talking PM me. Take care

amy31308
by on Jun. 4, 2010 at 12:40 PM

Just remember.. this is just a phase in life and if you and your family work at it.. it will get better! ((Hugs)) You can't always live on the mountain... we all have to visit the valley sometimes!!

Stay strong momma... when your feeling angry or mad or anything towards your dh or dd... remember to take a few deep breaths in and give them a kiss ;) I try to replace my angry feelings with feelings of love when I'm having a bad day. (Of course it doesn't always work.. but it helps alot of times!!)

la_bella_vita
by on Jun. 4, 2010 at 9:35 PM

 Stay strong momma. I'm sorry you are feeling this way and I hope you can get the help you need! If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here!

bbmkfo03
by on Jun. 4, 2010 at 10:42 PM

I agree with this. You certainly sound depressed. I had PPD after my dd. You sound like you're really stressed and not just with being a mom, you've got a lot going on and talking to someone about it will really help. I hope you feel better soon. *hugs*

Quoting SamandBrian943:

You can look online and find resources for low cost, sliding scale, and usually free, counseling services in your area. You really shouldn't have to struggle with the way you are feeling alone, it's not fair to you.

 

hugs


marywilliams
by on Jun. 4, 2010 at 10:49 PM

I'm sorry you are going through so much at once.  PPD can hit as late as a year after giving birth.  The additional stress you are under isn't helping.   Do you have a church or something similar?  There are usually some kind of counseling services you can get through them.  Sometimes you don't even have to be a member.  Also, check with the local health department since they might have a program that you will fit into.  Since it sounds like you are on a limited income, check with your local medicaid office - some states have programs for uninsured children and at least you would have one less worry.  Also, I took two medications for PPD before I hit my 3rd trimester of this pregnancy.  I will go back on them after this baby is born.  They are both on the $4 plan at Wal-Mart.  I too the generic form of Celexa and Trazadone.  That combination really made me feel "normal" again.  It might take a little work to find the best medication/counseling combination for you but it will be worth it.  We have local urgent care type places here that will offer a discount if you don't have insurance.  If you can get the money for one visit, at least you'd have a start with getting something that works.  I hope you find some relief soon!

Honeybun09
by on Jun. 4, 2010 at 10:59 PM

I'm so sorry about all of this. Just remember that there are people who will help you. Stay strong!


~Honeybun09: Babies Mod~Have a baby? Come join the Babies group today!

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