I swear my SIL is going to push my buttons one to many times one day I am just going to fly off the deep end on her! I really try not to let people bother me but sometimes, i just can't take it. With the recent death of my brother, and she was his girlfriend and they have 2 kids together. well she has this thing about having to be the center of attention. so the past two weeks she made this whole situation worse by making it all about her. This is no joke ok, my aunts came up to our house to help us out with funeral arrangments and whatnot. well my SIL just decided that they were live in babysitters and did NOTHING with her kids for a week. she didn't get up with them at night, she would just up and leave during the day to do, different things and just assume that everyone else would watch them. and when time called for it she would be crying and upset and blah blah blah. Not to make it seem like she didn't care for my brother, I am sure she did, but i feel like she thought/still thinks, that shes the only one grieving.
so that brings me to this past week, so her parents took her kids for about 4 days last week to let her and my parents get things done, like SSI and changing birth certificates (she didn't have my brother listed on them) so, on wednesday last week she gets her kids back after not having them for a few days. and on friday she says to me, i think i'll have my parents take the kids again this weekend i need a break. umm WHAT??? she'd had them all of 2 days!! (oh just a lil background, me, DH and DS live with my mom and dad, along with her and her 2 sons) ok so her parents take them again but only for like 1 night, so now shes had them all this week right. well all week long all shes done is scream and yell at them. one is 2.5 the other is 3 months old. the 3 month old will start crying and shes sitting on the computer she typing away on facebook, totally ignoring him, so i'll pick him up and take him to her and she just sets him in her lap and hes screaming his head off and shes just typing away not even paying any attention! Now tonight, she invites over this guy "her friend" she tells me, and they are going to the park to play basketball and she wants me to watch her kids, im by myself with a 3 month old, my DS whoes 8 months, and a 2.5 year old. ok no problem right. well she comes back from the park and he hangs out with us for a little while and then leaves to go home. and she asks me, so what do you think of him? and i said well he seems nice why? and shes like well you know your parents told me that i need to still live my life and find someone else and stuff. so we have been talking. I didn't know what to say, i was like yeah he seems nice and walked away. I don't know about you, but if someone i loved just died, the last thing i'd be thinking about would be finding my next boyfriend! i'd be more worried about finding a job to help support my children and making sure they were taken care of. I am just so over it! I wish we had somewhere else to go, I just want to be away from her so I don't lose it with her, because its getting harder and harder to hold my tongue!
sorry this was a long post and thanks for reading if you stayed around that long and sorry if it jumps around but i am really really really not happy right now! i mean maybe i am just a lil more irritable right now with everything thats going on, i don't know but i just want to strangle her!!! (not litterally of course!)
thanks, I am doing ok, DH has been really supportive and has helped me out alot. its been hard to say the least and it just makes it even worse having to deal with her :( i love my nephews and i'd take them in a heart beat! but of course when the guy was here tonight she was all being mommy and being good but as soon as he left she just totally ignored them again. ahhh if i wasn't BF'ing i swear i'd be drinking a fuzzy navel right about now lol
Quoting mommy2xp:
Hugs!! I'm sorry she's being that way but you are right if I was in her place I'd be a wreck and definately not thinking of finding a new guy!! Hope you are doing ok!!!!!!!
Hugs to you & your family.
oh believe me if my mom hadn't told me to not get into it with her right now, I probably would have! I normally would just mind my own business but when I sit here and watch her verbally abuse her 2.5 year old, it just breaks my heart and I try to take him outside to play and do things with him so that she won't yell at him for stuff. like really, he has outside toys and sometimes trys to bring them in, so instead of talking to him and saying no those belong outside, she screams, take that back outside right now! and then he starts throwing a fit! and then she gets pissed off at him and calls him names! hes freakin 2 years old! can ya'll tell im a lil ticked off?? lol I vent to my mom all the time but shes heard this all so much i needed someone else to vent to!
Quoting Khis_Ma:
U are a strong women... Because I wouldve jumped all over here by now!!! Ur brother just died n 2wks later there's a man where she use to be, not to mention she's being a horrible mom to the 2 kids, and what's left of him!! I wouldve told her about herself along time ago!! Maybe that's just me and my NY attitude but you really have patience!!! And so sorry about your loss, the best way to handle it is staying strong for yourself and those around you!!
I'm sorry about the loss of your brother. I'm also sorry that you have to deal with such a terrible situation on top of grieving the loss yourself. I hope it gets better!
Ok wow at first I was SORTA on her side because she's grieving but in no way, shape or form is that acceptable! The "love of her life" and the father of her children just passed away! I cannot believe the selfishness she's exuding, that enrages me!!! UGH wow. I'd talk to her about that!
Um...I take major issue with adding someone's name to a birth certificate after they die. My cousin did have to do this when her BF died, but only because her son was born AFTER he died. The state required a DNA test before she could do it then to get his SSI. She sounds like a freaking kid...seriously.
oh that is a whole nother issue! ok so the 2.5 year old he was paying child support for and she basically refused to put him on the birth certificate or give the baby his last name. well the past few months before he died they had talked about it and they were in the process of figureing out how to change it, well they were just about to do it right before he died. but the baby, the 12 week old, my brother was in the hospital when he was born and she never had him sign the damn thing because they had a fight the night before and she was mad at him! so there is no DNA or anything on him so they don't even know if they will be able to change it unless the lab that did the older one still has his DNA on file. So my parents set up a trust fund for the boys and all of their SSI money is going right into those accounts and only my parents can access it, and they told her that and she is ok with it because shes afraid that she'll spend it. so thats the only "good thing" that shes done!
Quoting sammi_chance07:
Um...I take major issue with adding someone's name to a birth certificate after they die. My cousin did have to do this when her BF died, but only because her son was born AFTER he died. The state required a DNA test before she could do it then to get his SSI. She sounds like a freaking kid...seriously.
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- Chrissy9479
on Sep. 9, 2010 at 10:51 PM