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I am not really looking forward to Easter :( HELP what would you do

Posted by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 5:33 AM
  • 11 Replies

Oh where do I begin!

Background:

My family!

I was practically raised by my Aunt & Uncle and my Grandparents. My parents partied and didn't have much to do with me. My father and I have a better relationship then my mom and I but still they both neglected me often, they put me in dangerous situations alot, and they forced me to grow up face. I was around of lots of bad things. BUT I had my Grandparents who I spent lots of time with. I worked very hard on the farm with my Grandpa. I was his side kick. He helped keep me busy and out of trouble. Him and Grandma always took me to church so even when I went through a rough spell in my life I knew Jesus and even though I did find myself going down the wrong path I eventually found my way back to the Lord knowing he never left my side. I also had my Aunt and Uncle help raise me. My Aunt also went to church but she was great at talking open to me about all things including sex, drinking etc. She had a huge impact in my life. One of the biggest things I grew up knowing was that I could have fun without drinking and partying. It was pretty easy not to drink since from about age 8 I was my parents designated driver, and I would be the one to get them undressed, rub there back and cleaned them up after they got done being sick, and I would get them in the bed! So I wanted to stay away from that life until I meant my Husband. For a short time his family influenced me. Once I had kids I knew I didn't want them raised the way I was so things changed drastically!! To this day at all of my family get together no drinking is allowed. We have good old fashion fun and games with laughing and fellowship without drinking and cussing and carrying on. Its wonderful!!

DH's family:

Hubby has 4 sisters. The oldest has 7 living children, and hasn't raised any of them. Two are in jail, 2 don't work and just run the streets, 2 are under the age of 17 and pregnant and the youngest lives with DH's mom. The next sister has 2 living children. She doesn't work she is married but openly is having an affair, Not to sure about her son but her daughter is so smart and is trying so hard to better herself. She is 14 and is an amazing student. Hubby's other sister about 5 yrs younger then him has a baby. She just found out for sure who the father is. He is now in jail. She is labeled mentally retarded and lives with DH's mom. She has a new boyfriend she runs around with now and Dh's mom was just complaining how she keeps forgetting stuff like diapers and formula for the baby! (She was telling us this in the grocery store where she was drove to drunk and was shopping with hubby's little sister (17) and his neice (10) )The youngest sister is very smart...I am trying to help her understand she can do better but I don't know what will happen with her. The majority of the family doesn't see anything wrong with their behavior. The whole family does what they want when they want. Not many people work, the majority are alcoholics and do one kind of drug or another. We go over less and less these days b/c I don't like the kids being around that.

Easter Sunday plans!

I am dreading this weekend b/c Hubby wants us to go for an Easter egg hunt. They always have big hunts. I admit its lots of fun for the kids. My problem in that they celebrate every holiday religious or not by getting drunk and gambling. There is always awful language and normal a fight breaks loose. I just hate having my kids around that, and I hate celebrating the Lord's day by being around drinking and people who loves using his name in vain. Its very hard on me b/c I don't want them to be upset with Hubby (they already say we are stuck up) but I have to think about the impression they have on my kids, and even the danger they could be in at times. Plus they feel so differently about things then I do....I fear they will teach my kids in ways I don't want them taught! What would you do in this situation???

My oldest Xavier has school Monday so Hubby and I agree we can't be there too long b/c we have to get him ready for school, and we are going to my Grandparents for an Easter egg hunt so we will be spliting the time up some. But I want to spend more time with my family b/c that is how I want my kids to remember spending their holiday and I want to spend less time with DH's family! I am also worried about Hubby. I am gonna try to make Hubby promise me he won't be drinking, and will try to watch his language (when you grow up saying whatever you want when you want its hard not to do that when you get around that lifestyle again. He will start sounding like the family and not even notice it. And they will pressure him to drink...to them you can't have fun without a beer or a liquor bottle in your hand :( Man I don't want my kids thinking that. They will even let the teens smoke pot around everyone...which scares me in 100 different ways. Like what if the cops showed up, they could try to take my kids just for us being there, and Hubby is a corrections officer so he could loose his job (Hubby thought about becoming a cop but won't b/c of his family) Uhh there is just so many reasons I really wish I didn't have to go. So ladies give me all the advice you can??? Thank you!

      I am a 24 yr old Mommy to two boys Xavier O'Neal Age5 Malachi O'Mari Age 2 and one baby girl Laylah-Marie Elizabeth ! I have been married to my wonderful Husband, Quentin, for 6 yrs and our children are our life! We are quiverfull, and Lord willing, look forward to many more children in our future!!                                    


by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 5:33 AM
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Replies (1-10):
NoraDun
by Silver Member on Apr. 23, 2011 at 5:34 AM

BUMP!

grapejelly
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 8:52 AM

idk, but i hope you can enjoy your Easter in however you end up celebrating it

Megan711
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 9:02 AM
Umm no I would NOT be going and neither would my kids. I'm sorry that's unacceptable behavior especially for Easter!!!
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mom2the.rescue
by Bronze Member on Apr. 23, 2011 at 9:21 AM

I've had a problem very similar to yours and we'[ve been married for 10 years.  While my family does drink here and there, the language is under control around children, there's def no pot smoking around them, and very little cigarette smoking.  I consider all that to be normal around kids-very light adult partying...and I grew up with an alcoholic father (who is now sober).  My DH's family is filled with heavy partiers.  They don't take care of themselves or their homes.  The house where we're always invited to is a hoarder's house (seriously) with 6 adults living there, in a 2 bedroom/1 bath (with a ceiling that falling down) house.  And they're pot dealers.  We haven't brought the kids there in years, probably since my oldest was 3 (except when my FIL was dying 4 yrs ago, we visited on & off then).  It's a huge problem with my DH.  While he doesn't agree with the way his family is, he wants them to be close to our kids.  He argues that my family parties too (but it's more hidden).  If it wasn't for the hoarding, pot dealing, and constant traffic of partiers (b/c that's the house you go to when you want to hang out like that), we'd bring the kids there.  I don't feel comfortable there at all.  They all think I'm a snob.  So anyways...I say bring your kids there for the Easter Egg hunt as long as you don't think everyone will be drunk yet.  It'll suck for you...but if you never bring them over there at all, things will only get harder about this.  Have your DH discuss with them that there can be no pot smoking and f bombs around the kids.  Stay an hour or so, and then go to your family's...you don't want this to turn into a major problem for you and your hubby.  GL

jridgill
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 12:09 PM


Quoting grapejelly:

idk, but i hope you can enjoy your Easter in however you end up celebrating it

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lauratupper
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 1:04 PM

i agree with this. i wouldn't go or take my children over there, but if my dh wanted to go over and visit then fine, but if he gets drunk or anything i would make him stay the night somewhere else...but that is just me.

Quoting Megan711:

Umm no I would NOT be going and neither would my kids. I'm sorry that's unacceptable behavior especially for Easter!!!






justanotherjen
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 1:09 PM

That's why we celebrate holidays at home with just us and the kids.  We don't visit anyone and no one comes to see us.  Too much drama.


Honeybun09
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 1:10 PM


Quoting grapejelly:

idk, but i hope you can enjoy your Easter in however you end up celebrating it





ladyluke2007
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 1:22 PM

 I agree.

Quoting lauratupper:

i agree with this. i wouldn't go or take my children over there, but if my dh wanted to go over and visit then fine, but if he gets drunk or anything i would make him stay the night somewhere else...but that is just me.

Quoting Megan711:

Umm no I would NOT be going and neither would my kids. I'm sorry that's unacceptable behavior especially for Easter!!!

 

 

Lovin' Wife of John & Proud Momma to Ashley-23 (Lovin' Wife to Pat & Momma to Liam), Matt-21,Tim-20,Tasha-17, Becca-16, Davy-14, Tommy-8 & Elijah-2yrs. & Gramma of Sarah-4 & Liam-21mos.

luckyme7
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 1:32 PM
Wow...that's a difficult situation. Something you and DH should decide together. For what it's worth I would be concerned too. Drinking is one thing, getting drunk is. Whole other thing. On a totally different note, your font is beautiful but very difficult to read!
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