Learning to Delegate

I am what people like to call a "control freak." I like doing things myself. I need organization and neatness. I put things on calendars. I make to-do lists. I put the dishes directly in the dishwasher after dinner.

But when you become a parent, no matter how perfect and neat your life was before, it suddenly becomes chaotic and messy.. 

And the thing is, you usually don't have the time or energy to make it perfect and neat again. Ideally I would have time to be an attentive mother as well as cook every meal, clean the house, go to the grocery store, do the laundry, pay the bills and write thank you notes. But after two kids in two years, I barely have time to chug a cup of coffee, let alone go to the store for coffee beans.

One of the hardest lessons I've learned as a mother is that you have to surrender some control. Whether it's accepting that the world won't come to an end when your toddler eats a cracker off the floor (again) or putting junior in the same pair of spaghetti-stained pajamas two nights in a row, you just have to let things go. You won't always have time to sweep or run the washing machine, but that stuff can wait. Your kids, however, cannot.

But there is something you can do to make yourself a little less crazed (and make sure that the floor does get mopped every once in a while): delegate. And I don't just mean asking your husband to take out the trash (well, do that too). I mean order takeout. Hire a house cleaner once a month. Order groceries online. Set up auto-pay for your bills. Have the babysitter cook dinner for the kids, and if it's boxed mac 'n' cheese, hey, at least they'll be getting a little calcium.

Don't aim for perfection; aim for easy. You have enough to worry about in your life without having to bake 36 cupcakes from scratch for your kid's preschool. That's why bakeries were invented, my friend. Yes, some of these shortcuts might seem extravagant, but if it saves your sanity and you can afford it, it's worth its weight in gold. And taking the easy way out won't have to happen forever---eventually you'll have time to vacuum the cobwebs yourself and make pasta from scratch again (if you want to, that is).

If nothing else, give up control by simply repeating this phrase to yourself: I can't do everything. There isn't enough time in the day and there isn't enough caffeine in that double espresso. Relinquishing a little of that power will feel so good that you'll wonder what you were so uptight about in the first place.  

What's one thing you wish you could delegate to someone else?