Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Question about the hubby...

Posted by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:06 PM
  • 11 Replies

So, here we go... We just had our second baby a little over 3 weeks ago. His name is Logan, we already have a 3 1/2 yr old girl named Skylie. My hubby works full time and is home as much as possible. But... I'm kinda worried about the relationship between my hubby and Logan. He's like afraid to hold the baby and I'm nursing so he doesn't help with much. Like doesn't change diapers if I'm home, doesn't feed him (obviously unless I pumped and am not home), and doesn't just opt to pick him up if he starts fussing. Just like "oh don't worry, Jennie will get him.." and I duno, he's sooo good with Skylie, they play and read stories and rough house. It's great. But I know that my husband loves Logan it's not like he doesn't EVER hold him. When he does it's soo sweet (that's after he's been changed and fed n such). But my husband certainly doesn't go out of his way to change him or bathe him and whatnot. He says Logan is just too small. He's over ten lbs and can hold his head up by himself already! It's not like my hubby is gonna break him.... But I wanted to know if your hubbies when thru a "phase"(?) in the beginning of your kiddos lives because they were "too fragile?" that your hubby was scared to hurt him? How can I get my husband to be more involved with our son without telling him what to do, so he wont be so worried anymore?


[sorry if that makes no sense, I just want my hubby to show more enthusiasum, ya know?]

~Jennie~

<3If you live to be 100, i want to be 100 minus one day, so i never have to be without you<3

by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:06 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
abra
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:09 PM

Have you told him that his behavior is worrying you and why?

mom2gr8tgirls
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:10 PM

My DH just won't bathe our kids until they are much more "sturdy."  But he'll do anything else.

Jennie_Bean
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:16 PM

yeah i told him. He just said he doesn't want to hurt him, he says that Logan is too small right now to play with. Like i said its not like he doesn't ever hold him, he just doesn't DO anything with him =\

abra
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:18 PM
hmmm, will he read literature about childcare to help make him feel more comfortable?

Quoting Jennie_Bean:

yeah i told him. He just said he doesn't want to hurt him, he says that Logan is too small right now to play with. Like i said its not like he doesn't ever hold him, he just doesn't DO anything with him =\

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Mom2Ladybug
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:19 PM
So one day...just get up, hand him the baby and say "I going to shower. Be back in a few". And walk off before he can say anything. Eventually he will get the hang of it and feel comfortable
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
barefootNky113
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:20 PM

 my hubby was like that. some men just aren't "baby" people. they like them more  when their older lol. my dh said he was always to mess up and break him our son and daughter both. or hurt the when they are that little. if he's good with the older daughter then chances are when the new baby gets a little older he'll be perfect with him too.

sfkdny
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:20 PM

a lot of dads have "issues" with small children.  I know my DH was pretty useless in the newborn stage (he was not confident that he knew what to do) but he is very hands on now with our children (4 and almost 2)

 

 

happy-go-lucky
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:20 PM
My husband didn't hold either of our sons until they were over 6 months. Once they were bigger, like sitting on their own, he started doing much more. They are now 3 years and 15 months and he is very involved.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
ArmyWifeCat
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:25 PM

Some men just aren't baby daddys... My husband is all Army, macho and all that and he grew up that way too.  Sometimes it's hard for him to relate to our babies.  We have 3 boys and it wasn't until this summer when my older two boys started riding two-wheelers and showing common interests that my husband really started connecting with them.

My husband loves our baby boy (5 months) but sometimes I think he just doesn't feel totally secure with him.  But that's okay, this baby won't be a baby for long and it just means more time with mommy :)  

brendens_mommy
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:29 PM

lol my hubby was scard shitless at first but so was i.. but we had a preemie and we were helped with getting used to dealing with him before he come home  i remember the first time DH changed a diaper he damn near fainted he was so scared (DS weighed less than 2 lbs)... but that was a diff situation lol ...just hand him over and say here take care of him for a bit and go do something else in another part of the house  he will get used to it. good luck

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)